Jessica Alba and Cash Warren apparently were married yesterday, according to People:
The couple quietly wed Monday, says her rep, Brad Cafarelli.
Alba, 27, is expecting a daughter with Warren, 31, this summer. The couple met while filming Fantastic Four and were engaged last December.
Quietly wed, huh? So does that mean no one talks through the whole service? Because that I like. And, shit, why stop there? How about no talking for the entire marriage? It’ll be a relationship built on love and head gestures. But sometimes crying when I specifically nodded for mustard and not mayo. C’mon!
The Superficial silently congratulates the happy couple.
Photos: Splash News
ph7 | May 20, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Boring couple.
Sophie | May 20, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Who fucking cares about these dumbshits getting married?
Nobody CARES
common sense | May 20, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Something tells me she ain’t doing ANYTHING quietly right now.
nhbby | May 20, 2008 at 5:18 pm
dang.
Derrick Coleman | May 20, 2008 at 5:22 pm
So she tricked him into marriage by getting pregnant and now she’s getting married. Woop Dee Damn Doo.
Ted Mosby | May 20, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Yawn
Rat | May 20, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Cash Warren never worked a day in his life. His father was a prolific actor but never in anything good, just tv and disney crap. He went to school with some guy who plays basketball. He is basically a complete loser!
Except for Alba who I guess likes to dominate him.
He is so un-deserving of her it brings her hotness down to a 3-4 from 10.
She should really be dating me at least I have a job!
Zid | May 20, 2008 at 5:31 pm
This is nothing compared to Amy’s open sores and talking mice.
ToTellTheTruth | May 20, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Who gives a fuck about this bitch now, she’s pregnant and her pussy has been tainted and played in, so fuck her.
Jimbo | May 20, 2008 at 5:44 pm
@2 Sophie – you have a link to my favorite site.
Eric | May 20, 2008 at 5:49 pm
her poor vag :( it has no idea what is coming…
Pepper | May 20, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Geeeze Jessica, you’d think she’d have learnt from that Brit fiasco
snarky | May 20, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Who really gives a shit? I mean, the girl can’t act, is average looking, and seems bitchy. And now the only thing she had going for her (hot body) will be long gone due to pregnancy and the fact that she’s nearing 30. Even if she tones up post preggo, her bod will never truly be the same. She was just a flash in the pan; Her 15 minutes are up. All that being said, I love her dress…even if it is pregnant-y.
Quinn | May 20, 2008 at 7:20 pm
She shoulda taken notes from professor Mariah Carey
STevec | May 20, 2008 at 7:28 pm
no one cares
BitchyBlonde | May 20, 2008 at 7:50 pm
#13 is on point. Who gives a fuck?
This broad is so average looking. She looks like any other chick walking down the street. Actually, the chicks here in New York are a lot better looking. Can’t comment on her “talent” since I’ve never seen her in anything, but I will take #13′s word for it that she sucks.
I don’t know who the hell Cash is, but he looks like an asshat.
I will give her some credit for actually marrying her baby daddy. How quaint !
Real Chad | May 21, 2008 at 1:26 am
Yeah…shotgun weddings always work out. Its really too bad. I’m guessing that she’ll bounce back in popularity, but if most of the reports on CW are correct, her person life from now on is probably going to suck. Ce la vie!!
hi | May 21, 2008 at 2:04 am
She’s so average. lmao. She’s the hottest woman in hollywood.
IWONKY | May 21, 2008 at 3:27 am
Ah, no wonder she’s been walking around with such a big pissy face – just look at this dude! She’s having nightmarea about what the baby is gonna look like! Makes total sense…and where is Conan O’brien when you need him?? You know….have ya seen the baby?….ya gotta see the ba-by,….it’s just breath-taking…ah shit, I mighta jinxed it…wait…nah.
IWONKY | May 21, 2008 at 3:28 am
Ah, no wonder she’s been walking around with such a big pissy face – just look at this dude! She’s having nightmares about what the baby is gonna look like! Makes total sense…and where is Conan O’Brien when you need him?? You know….have ya seen the baby?….ya gotta see the ba-by,….it’s just breath-taking…ah shit, I mighta jinxed it…wait…nah.
Poor Child | May 21, 2008 at 8:18 am
“Jessica, we need to discuss the plans for our child’s future education.”
“Umm… Like… What? She’ll be, like, totally fine if we teach her to stare.”
Stuey | May 21, 2008 at 8:45 am
who the hell is he anyway?
It'sNotHim | May 21, 2008 at 9:43 am
Actually, she’s the jerk off in that relationship. I know Cash’s family. She really did get caught screwing someone else, and did break up with him over the phone (cuz she GOT CAUGHT), that’s no lie… then she panicked over how bad she was going to look when the press starting crucifying her so she tried to get back with Cash even after he told her he didn’t want to marry her. She “accidentally” gets pregnant then and traps this poor bastard. She IS a bitch. Never happy.. a complete WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ME Diva… She’s NOTHING as a person and Cash is just some really, nice, poor fool who got caught up in her cheating and manipulation and is trying to do the right thing. Sorry, Cash… you should have run like hell when you had the chance. Have a good life with the Ice Princess.
jumpin_j | May 21, 2008 at 10:12 am
“The Superficial silently congratulates the happy couple.” Yeah right. Fish is crying 96 tears and looking for his gun to kill the bastard.
You Can Always Spot The Losers Who've Never Fucked (Cute) Bimbos | May 21, 2008 at 10:34 am
#25
Yeah right. Fish is laughing 96 tears at Cash, who had to marry her after knocking her up. Even Cash knows Jessica is for fucking only because every Yale educated man will be scared to risk his children’s IQ’s by marrying bimbos.
she's a fat ugly diseased STD'ed overrated herpes infected moron | May 21, 2008 at 4:39 pm
does anybody still care about the most overrated woman in the world anymore? how… AVERAGE in the looks department! how totally talentless, how, pathetic. Now turned into an ugly fat disgusting whale that got intentionally pregnant to get her boyfriend to marry her after he had dumped her and she had contracted herpes. Even Britney is way better looking than her these days.
hi | May 22, 2008 at 12:13 am
I think anybody is better looking than Britney nowadays.
why does my skin itch | March 3, 2010 at 8:51 pm
I am sorry, where is the news?