Jessica Alba poses on the red carpet during the premiere of Awake in New York last night. Wow, I’ll tell you something that is awake after looking at these pictures. Aw, is someone grumpy this morning? You want some coffee? No, you’re going straight for the liquor cabinet. I don’t really think schnapps is part of a balanced breakfast. Oh, again with the laser beams. Very cute. Jesus! You blew up the toaster! Great, what if I wanted some tasty Eggo waffles? Just drink your schnapps and watch cartoons – or, okay, porn, fine whatever. So, uh, listen, about your part of the rent. Hey, power down those balls when I’m talking to you.
Photos: Getty Images, Splash News, Bauer-Griffin.com, Pacific Coast News
FRIST!!! | November 15, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Hi
JoBOO | November 15, 2007 at 12:01 pm
FRIST!!!!!!!
JoBOO | November 15, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Damn — SECOND!!!!!!
SHE IS HAWT!!!
FRIST!!! | November 15, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Um Hello???
#2??? WTC!!!
pennynickle | November 15, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Yep, I could fuck her hard with my foot long, 4 inch thick penis.
Sizzurp | November 15, 2007 at 12:04 pm
I really can’t say anything bad about her, she’s hot, she does charity shit, and doesn’t really come across as a bitch.
Lalala | November 15, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Who is that other girl with her in two of the pics in the green dress? She is GORGEOUS!
Lalala | November 15, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Who is that other girl with her in two of the pics in the green dress? She is GORGEOUS!
babyglyniss | November 15, 2007 at 12:08 pm
my always and forever favorite celebrity. she’s decent looking pretty gorgeous and look smart.
pickup | November 15, 2007 at 12:09 pm
She was said to be fond of internet recently. Some of her fans found her on a millionaire&celebs dating club meetrich.com. She has a personal account there with her sexy pictures, blog and something about her films…In her friend circle, some other stars can be found there. But it was said that she is so picky.
p911gt10c | November 15, 2007 at 12:10 pm
#1 Good running defence there FRIST. You saved Joboo from joining the loser brigade.
Sometimes you have to protect people from themselves.
JoBOO | November 15, 2007 at 12:10 pm
#4 — HELLOOOOO — this is the Superficial. Nothing anyone has to say here has any relevance or importance. Thus, we may as well squawk about our place in line.
NINTH!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH
oscar | November 15, 2007 at 12:11 pm
dunno. i never got the fascination with her. she’s too boring. no drug addled behavior, no topless sunbathing, no sex tapes, no rehab.. nothing.
booooooring.
Sizzurp | November 15, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Which probably means she doesn’t have some raging V.D. #13. I would like to keep my penis in one piece or at least not make it look like a piccolo.
FRIST!!! | November 15, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Thanks 11, told you I never put FIRST. Course “Hi” was kinda retarded anyway, but WTF, I’m braindead this early in the morning..
Emily Poster | November 15, 2007 at 12:19 pm
I think the other girl is Rachel Bilson. But one of the actresses in the movie is named “Poorna Jagannathan,” from Tunisia. Poorna, as always, will go far in Hollywood.
BigBoneDaddy | November 15, 2007 at 12:22 pm
I did her before she was famous.
She’s not all that good of a lay.
J-Sin | November 15, 2007 at 12:32 pm
BigBoneDaddy= Full of it.
endoftheshityear | November 15, 2007 at 12:35 pm
The dude in pic#2 is thinking
“The force to cause boners is strong in this one”
And he’s right
D. Richards (Sad today.) | November 15, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Alba seems like the kind of girl that would nag you to death. You know the type. Like she has such a sense of high self-standard that she would talk to you like dirt because she’s doing you a favor by dating you in the goddamn forst place you fucking moron. She’s the kind of chick that doesn’t get any of your jokes, doesn’t understand any of the things you find funny. Doesn’t like “Mr. Show with Bob and David”. Hates Bowie, or The Swans, or Rollins. The kind of girl that tries to “change” you by forcing you to get rid of all your shit. Fuck, I’d rather die.
Steve | November 15, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Eeeh…she’s pretty…plain, but pretty. She needs implants. Implants are hot.
endoftheshityear | November 15, 2007 at 12:44 pm
pic#10, HFS
now that’s worth getting into the entertainment business, just having a 3sum with something like that
BunnyButt | November 15, 2007 at 12:46 pm
#20, it’s so much easier when your girlfriends are inflatable, isn’t it?
skrewup | November 15, 2007 at 12:55 pm
she’s cute, but definitely not worth the hype. even rather plain, when not all dolled up.
D. Richards (Prick.) | November 15, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Oh, #23. You make people “laugh”! You are so funny. I bet you’re one of the bitches I was talking about. No sense of humor. No sense of self. No self. Period. “BunnyButt”. How cute?
And please. Either you’re married to a guy that you simply cohabitate with, or, you’re a single woman that dates infrequently. Whatever. The bottome line, You hate your body. Love.
whatever | November 15, 2007 at 12:58 pm
I would tap that….
iughug | November 15, 2007 at 12:59 pm
She’s good looking but she’s also a shitty actress and a MAJOR HYPOCRITE.
She wont do nudity but doesn’t mind dressing in clothing soo skimpy that the only parts of her we haven’t seen are her nipples, the lips of her twat or her bare asshole.
In a few years people will catch on how terrible an actress she is and she’ll be Direct to DVD by 2010.
my comment | November 15, 2007 at 1:02 pm
Black tights and silver shoes?
No. Sorry.
NoTalentHere | November 15, 2007 at 1:06 pm
This chick has no talent , but thinks she does. Besides her fashion sense sucks. Black tights with silver open toed shoes?!? I don’t care if they ARE Louboutins, it looks like crap.
BunnyButt | November 15, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Hm, 25, you’re contradicting yourself. The “bitches” you complain about are the ones who DO have a sense of self, which is exactly why you hate them. But, based on your mini-rant, you also hate women who have no sense of self. So, generally, you hate women.
And, BTW, I have a fandamntastic pair of breasts, so, yes, I do love my body. Every chance I get.
grobpilot | November 15, 2007 at 1:30 pm
What, no nipples? Dammit.
justtheobvious | November 15, 2007 at 1:48 pm
boiiiiiiiinggggggg!
BaconMessiah | November 15, 2007 at 1:51 pm
She’s purdy
catska | November 15, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Sorry to ruin everyones fantasy about this girl, but she has HERPES
http://news.softpedia.com/news/Derek-Jeter-Gave-Jessica-Alba-Herpes-62486.shtml
I found this when I was looking up stuff on Paris Hilton and her own herpes drama.
Lady Zombie | November 15, 2007 at 2:27 pm
She’s a cutie
CelebrityFanChat Raph | November 15, 2007 at 2:32 pm
She’s pretty.
RENEE Z... | November 15, 2007 at 2:38 pm
huh, so over rated. I’ve had friends that are prettier than her. She looks tired here too. But I kind of like the dress and she does have a nice figure. She just needs to eat a little more so she can go back to being curvy; her curvy figure is what made her famous.
RCA | November 15, 2007 at 2:43 pm
She is FOOOIIN!
Now, onto that Star Wars bum. How long before people realize this kid IS A HORRIBLE ACTOR!!
Where’s that damned Padme?!
RCA | November 15, 2007 at 2:45 pm
She does need to get back to the “Dark Angel” thick Alba though.
put the ugly people in the back | November 15, 2007 at 3:04 pm
THE BRUNETTE WITH HER IS WAY WAY HOTTER.
Donna | November 15, 2007 at 3:04 pm
she’s gorgeous… and who is that guy? he’s adorable.
She's no Jessica Simpson | November 15, 2007 at 3:19 pm
she is attractive but not worthy of the term sex symbol
put the ugly people in the back | November 15, 2007 at 3:29 pm
The guy is hayden christensen ( celebrities are pieces of shit not people so they do not deserve caps for their whore names) now who the hell is the smoking hot brunette who wipes the floor with Alba?
put the ugly people in the back | November 15, 2007 at 3:30 pm
I meant alba.
angie | November 15, 2007 at 3:40 pm
her shoes ruined the dress
angie | November 15, 2007 at 3:41 pm
her shoes ruined the dress
blizzy | November 15, 2007 at 3:43 pm
gorgeous.
ya ya ya i know, you have friends hotter than her, she “seems” like she’d be the type who nags (all women nag…duh!), blah blah blah.
point is she’s a beautiful girl who keeps her celebrity in check, has yet to do something shameful, is smart, manages her career well, and is good to her fans. she’s one of the few women in hollywood a guy would be proud to take home to mom…and mom would have no idea about what we’d do in the basement on the pool table.
Danklin24 | November 15, 2007 at 3:45 pm
She’s so fucking hot. Does anyone else see a potential baby bump?
Dick Richards (Slob.) | November 15, 2007 at 3:55 pm
BunnyButthole? Okay, go back-up and re-read everything I typed. It would do you much good. Contradiction? No, Jessica Alba is the product of stardom. I read once that she went out on a date with this guy once, that she thought was really boring. So what’s she do? She tries to gross the poor guy out by disgusting him by way of the sloppiness of her face stuffing. How nice. Bitch!
I’m sure the reason behind her upstaning sense-of self, is because she feels that she’s better than other people, thus, doing the men she dates a favor by allowing them to get close to her. She can treat them like shit because the guy’s are just lucky to be there. I don’t think that constitutes “self”. That’s just arrogance. Simple.
Now, you. Making your little comments. You’re just like Jessica. You’re a woman. Women are all the same. Judging. You say the wrong thing and, Wham (!), kicked out the door. With women, you don’t joke around with a cynical, intellectual edge. You merely dangle shiny little jokes in front of their faces, so as to attract them like teenie-weenie little fishes. You know I’m right.
Your breasts are nice? Right. Too bad I’m an ass-man. You got a flat-ass, piece? I bet you do. If not, include your number and I’ll swing by.
D. Richards | November 15, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Maybe I do hate women and wanna fucking kill them with my bare hands like a straight john-wayne gacy? Maybe I do feel the need to pull women from life, and remove their vaginas. I’m confused now. What do I really want? I’ll tell you what I don’t want: a fucking wife and family. That’s the death right there. Truth.