Jessica Alba calls the cops on paparazzi

January 16th, 2008 // 82 Comments

Jessica Alba left the gym yesterday in West Hollywood. She really didn’t want the paparazzi to snap pictures of her so she called in the sheriff’s department who had nothing better to do than shoo away photographers. Guess the crime rate’s pretty low in West Hollywood. Anyway, I don’t see what Jessica is so worried about. It’s not like people haven’t seen a pregnant woman before. Except for me. So where does she keep the baby? Wait, it’s in her hat. I knew that all along. I was just testing you.

Photos: Flynet

  1. INsane


  2. INsane


  3. Britney looks much better here..

  4. Her boobs are looking a lot bigger..

  5. funny, bb WAS first, I WAS second, but then the comment rearrange thing happened AGAIN. So, there’s your lesson for the day DON’T BOTHER CLAIMING YOU’RE FRIST!!!

  6. L.A. Taxpayer

    Whore! Hide your shame and cover the bastard that grows in your belly!

  7. The Office Whore

    @7- Hey! I have no shame!! Or any kind of a bastard growing in my belly!!!

    I do however have a hankerin’ for a Heineken.

  8. D. Richards (Ass.)

    What-a self centered cunt.

    ‘The paparazzi can follow other celebrities around, but they are not gonna follow me. Hello, Sheriff’s department, yeah, this is Jessica Alba.’

    Fuck you, bitch. And fuck your unborn fetus. Goddamn right!

  9. She was kinda funny in that Chuck movie

  10. She was kinda funny in that Chuck movie

  11. Cap'n Pickles

    To be fair, the police would respond if I was being repeatedly stabbed in my home. Only with me, they would stop off for donuts first.

    Useless pigs.

  12. She was kinda funny in that Chuck movie

  13. p0nk

    God forbid the LA County Sheriff do something like patrol 18th Street, there are celebs to escort!

  14. Shallow Val

    She’s an ass.

    Not for nothing but if these people don’t want to be seen, with all the FUCKING money and prestige they have, build a gym in your fucking mansion and work out in the comfort of your own home. But Noooooooooooo.

    I’d don anything to have a private gym in my own home. God, I hate no talent people like this rubber.

  15. just me

    actually, she wasn’t very funny in that chuck movie….. my husband watched it. I told him he might like it cause it has jessica alba in it. he said, who? And then half way through it, he said, she’s kind of a weird looking, stupid laughing, bad acting mexican.

  16. Conscience Found

    “Hello 911? Yes it is an emergency. I FEEL FATTTT.”

    this could have made worse headlines. ‘Police Melee and Shooting at LA health club’

  17. Keith

    She did the right thing, calling the cops. Didn’t look like she was actively seeking photo ops that day. More celebrities outta do this…except of course, the narcissist won’t let them.

  18. Cap'n Pickles

    @17. Yeah, you’re right. Fuck the poor schmucks getting mugged, as long as some useless, slutty, overrated actress gets a pig whenever she needs one. What the fuck was I thinking.

  19. Cap'n Pickles

    woops. that’s 18 y’all.

  20. gotmilk?

    you’re kidding, right 18? actively seeking photo ops, seriously?

  21. Auntie Kryst

    @8 Hankerin’ for a Heineken?…Mmm, naw, but I am a go for Guinness! Let’s ask the chubby girl in the pictures if she want a beer.

  22. This was West Hollywood. The sheriff reall have nothing else to do there other than patrol the park restroom looking for George Michaels and handing out anal lube..

  23. @19 If you get mugged in West Hollywood, all you have to do is say “Look there is Liza Minnelli” and then you can get away safely..

  24. morons

    You know, calling the cops is actually a logical move as opposed to, say, trying to outrun the paparazzi and getting into a car accident, especially since she’s pregnant. How many of you guys would allow one person, let alone 20 people, to follow you constantly before you called stalker and put a restraining order against him/her? Being followed constantly is NOT normal, and the paparazzi are stalkers. Think about it.

    Anyway, give her a break. She’s pregnant, and pregnant women do not need more stress. As much as she’s annoying, she doesn’t deserve to have miscarriage or premature baby.

  25. BunnyButt

    Auntie, I was just thinking that looks a bit like a beer belly …

  26. p0nk

    Jimbo, that is a county sheriff car. If West Hollywood doesn’t have enough crime to fight, certainly there are other parts of Los Angeles county that could use a little extra manpower, no?

  27. DVD

    Thats right Jessica call a cops damn paparazzi they always like to hate them.

  28. Shallow Val

    22 – Nice……Guinness. Perfect; a stout for a stout.

  29. Nancy

    What a fat pig! Why’d she let herself go like that???

  30. PunkA

    This is news how?

    PS the paps are blood suckers. Who cares if the cops get involved. Not like I give a rats ass about them anyway. Put them all in jail. Or better yet, make them all date and have sex with Britney.

  31. Biff Henderson

    I’d hit that.

  32. Joe

    The crime rate IS really low in West Hollywood.

  33. ebby pebby

    Shit on a Stick. I really hope this lame bitch’s career goes up in flames! Why the fuck be in the public eye if you can’t handle being photographed? Dumb ass. She’s soooo fucking LAME!!!!!!

  34. Jonesy


    She’s never going to be hot again. A shame, in terms of her body as of, say, 5 years ago. But not a shame ever since she turned into an uppity twig-bitch.

  35. Pfff

    Look at that gut.

  36. will

    who the fuck does she think she is??? it’s not like they can arrest the paps…that is what they do for a living!! and it’s not like they’re actually touching her…stupid selfish cunt.

  37. She called the cops because she wasn’t wearing her makeup, and was really scared of the paparazzi taking pictures of her average and I dare to say ugly self without makeup and show them to the world, that’s why.
    Like this one:

  38. Chauncey Gardner

    Wouldn’t it be awesome if her baby is born with a camera in its tiny hand and starts snapping Alba twat shots after they yank it out?

  39. lil' e

    get over urself bitch

  40. JA is a cunt

    What if a real crime took place while this self-important cunt was being sheltered by Hollywood’s finest?

  41. She called the cops because she wasn’t wearing her makeup, and she was really scared of the paparazzi taking pictures of her average and even ugly self without makeup and show them to the world, that’s why.
    Like this one:

    Yeah cover your face ugly bitch, cover your face and call the cops before everyone sees how ugly you are without your effin makeup and digital enhancing!

  42. sillypanda!

    wow, #38, she looks awful there. like, crazy skinny!!

  43. sillypanda!

    wow, #38, she looks awful there. like, crazy skinny!!

  44. kitty_kat

    Calling the cops? Ridiculous. Its not like everyone doesn’t know that she’s pregnant. Why couldn’t she just walk to her car? All they’re gonna do is take her picture. She should take advantage of this extra boost of press – I have a feeling her career’s gonna be over the minute she has that baby. Gosh! What a stupid career move…

  45. hi

    It’s because she has really bad acne rigt now.

  46. granada

    She’s…what? Three, four months pregnant? And still hitting the gym? Although a pregnant woman at her stage can still move and do physical stuff, she should lay off exercise until AFTER she has her baby, which is when she’ll want to lose that fat. What, does she expect to flatten her stomach??

    God, she’ll probably go into labor while at the treadmill. Narcissistic cunt.

  47. skye

    OK i’ve seen the emtire set of these pics, which is about 30, and from her leaving the gym to getting into her car, there’s no cops around! They might have told her to piss off b/c she’s called them befpre like this.

  48. ferlo

    she’s stupid.

  49. big

    She looks so beautiful. I love her. I just saw her profile on millionaire dating site where Charlie Sheen found his new match last March. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.

Leave A Comment