Jessica Alba births tiny version of herself (God willing)

June 8th, 2008 // 48 Comments

Jessica Alba gave birth to a baby girl this weekend and named her Honor Marie Warren. This will be the first child for her and husband Cash Warren. Us Magazine reports:

She was born this weekend at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.
Alba’s father was overheard saying “she’s beautiful.” Warren — in a T-shirt, jeans and baseball cap — was spotted carrying food into the maternity ward Sunday. Her rep had no comment.

Jessica and Cash secretly wed in May without even inviting her brother, so I’m surprised to read Jessica’s dad was in the delivery room. I figured she’d just carry the baby around and tell people it’s a puppy. Until she’s caught breast feeding and has to admit that fine, okay – it’s a sea lion.

The Superficial wishes the best to Jessica, Cash and baby Honor Marie.


  1. Que

    Que cute!

  2. poopsy


  3. Que

    Que slow!

  4. ph7

    Let’s pray that the doctor put in a couple extra stitches for Cash.

  5. Dominique

    Honor Marie Warren

  6. wet newspaper

    She’s very purdy.

  7. Q

    yeah, yeah, yeah hot chick that can’t act pops out a baby… big whoop.
    welcome to Monday.

  8. purple matter

    Finally!! Get rid of that bulge so I can yank it again!!

  9. English Bob

    Aaaahhhh !!!! Doesn’t it just make your shit itch….?

  10. Barely Stearn

    Great good news for the lovely mother! Now how soon before all the hateful, jealous, loser gargoyle bitches that roam this site set their sites on the young mother and bash her for being too skinny with breasts that are too large and perfect in every way?!
    Good grief: If jealousy were nickels each of you flat chested gargoyles could pack a submuscular implant of coins under either side of your chest that would give you the DOUBLE DD’s that would lift you all out of your perpetual funk and get down to the business of being sexy for the first time in your lives…

    Instead you’ll bash me – a civil servant of breastology – for being the bearer of truth and wisdom and then – donning your pant suits and birkenstocks – not to mention your hairy legs! – you’ll set out in the world to make mean eyes at every guy who comes within radar distance of your horns and then – at day’s end – sit down in front of your home computer to bash anyone who isn’t a size 14 and whose nippleage actually do not point straight south!

  11. Proof positive that undereating and venereal disease do nothing to affect fertitlity at all.

  12. Sheva

    As long as the kid doesn’t have that Fantastic Four hair job.

  13. Que

    Guys, I just wanted to let you know that I have possibly contracted lyme disease from a tick bite this past weekend.

    Que dang!

  14. Danielle

    Ahh. I wonder if People or US Weekly will offer her any money for the first photos?

    Seeing as though they can’t offer money to couples like Halle & Gabriel, then they damn sure wouldn’t offer any loot to Jessica “Don’t Call Me Latina” and Cash Warren. But maybe they would, this world is crazy like that.


  15. Auntie Kryst

    Any guesses on the fucked up hollyweird name they are going to give this kid?? My money is on Kiwi Nicole.

  16. Let’s all hope the geniuses at Cedars-Sinai give this newborn mutt a nice big dose of heparin.

  17. dontgetit

    why is it that beautiful women marry ugly fucks? i just don’t get it. i mean yeah women gravitate to power and money but still there are ok looking men who have that, but time and again they settle down with the butt-fuck ugly geezers, ie. jlo and skeletor, biancee and that fat guy, what’s his face? jay-z, heidi and seal, and now alba and this really unattractive douche. britney when she was at her peak, the sexiest woman in pop music history marries a slime ball like k-fed and now it’s all down hill for her. what’s the deal women? although celine dion is now a skinny ol’ hag once upon a time, when i used to be a child, she was beautiful and she married her grampa. catherine zeta jones and old boy wonder, granted he’s a hollywood powerhouse, but to MARRY him? i wonder what his ass looks like, all saggylicious. i wonder who buttpad girl will marry…

    it makes ugly women think if the beautiful ones go for the ugly men then the handsome men will probably settle down with mediocre women, which they do as a matter of fact. if i could marry any old geezer i’d marry daniel day lewis in a heart beat

  18. misnalgas

    @13 Get your butt to the doc there que. Had Lyme disease, its not a picnic. If you do have it, the longer you wait, the more complicated it gets and harder to get rid of.

  19. @10 so you don’t find these puppies lovely?

  20. Danielle

    The little gir’s name is Honor Marie Warren.

    @17. Maybe they have really big peen’s?

  21. They can go out on a limb and name the girl Warren Peace.

  22. misnalgas

    @20 LOL you’re a funny girl

  23. Auntie Kryst

    Honor, really?? Jebus, hollyweird strikes again. I’d get tired of that joke name by the second tee box, “Your honor Honor”.

  24. Hopefully the baby looks like Mommy but is twice as smart (almost making her avg intelligence).

    oh, #2 – you are a douche

  25. Danielle

    Her name seems to have some underlying meaning.

    Honor Marie [Warren]. Like Honor Cash Warren. Or Honor Marrying Warren. Freaky. I hope their not undercover Scientologists. Poor Katie.

  26. wwwuker

    Jessica Alba and Eva Longeria are 2 of the most overrated ‘stars’ alive today. Anyone who prefers Alba over Paris Hilton and or Kim Kardashian is either immature or has pedophilic tendencies. She’s totally non-original even to the degree of getting pregnant because its the ‘in’ thing to do in Hollywood.

    Paris Hilton accomplishes more in the business world before noon than Alba’s entire career of fluff pretending to be a ‘movie star.’ Any day at an upscale mall will feature scores of women hotter than her.

    All of you groupies are nothing but a bunch of jealous Bud-Lite Maxxim-Stuffers who are living examples of America’s decline.

  27. ollie

    she called her daughter “honor” go figure.. because she has no honor in her culture… as a mexican woman i can’t stand to watch someone, not like who they are…. and she needs to recognize.. because without those genes she would not look the way she looks…..selma hayek is more a woman than she is..

  28. lcj

    that name is horrible it doesn’t roll off the tongue very well i’m all for unique names but that is unique for uinque sake. Poor kid Honor plus it would be better as a boy name it’s not femine it’s masculine oh well that’s their choice should have went with pear or something else

  29. lcj

    that name is horrible it doesn’t roll off the tongue very well i’m all for unique names but that is unique for uinque sake. Poor kid Honor plus it would be better as a boy name it’s not femine it’s masculine oh well that’s their choice should have went with pear or something else

  30. WTF

    #26…….. you’re seriously not standing up for the saddest excuse for a human being ever, Paris Hilton, are you? apparently you’ve been mindfucked by that tit-less wonder.

    you do have one point though… Alba and Eva are both overrated

  31. vinx

    Conceived out of wedlock and given the name Honor. Since they are obviously fans of irony, perhaps they should name the next one Talent or Intellect.

  32. butterfly

    #31 – that was great

    For some reason her pregnancy seemed really short, like 6 months. Other celebrites seem to take forever. Funny how that is. lol

    Congrats to Jessica…I have to agree she is totally overrated but I wish her and her daughter all the best. Oh, and Mr. Alba…:-)

  33. ToTellTheTruth

    The baby’s name is Honor Marie Warren or some shit like that..and now that she’s spat it out, she’s not sexy anymore or the fantasy of many a teenage boy, because that pussy is loser than a caboose now and she can just forget about ever wearing a two piece now or doing any sexy swim suit pics.

  34. The baby was beatiful said jessica.
    true………………………………………………..IF YOU LOVE MONGOLS!!

  35. albabuttstain

    SO WHAT – another illigitimate kid squirted out of jack-ass Hollywood. Why do we have to rejoice with them? Get married or keep your slutty legs together – losers.

  36. Sven Oljaski

    Wasn’t it supposed to be twins? Did they eat the other one?

  37. nodo

    The kid’s middle name should be Roll.

  38. Honor as a first name? Are you kidding?

  39. latty

    I asked my Ma about this, and apparently ‘Honor Marie’ and ‘Honor Jane’ and ‘Honor Lynn’ were all really popular names at one point. When, I don’t know. Definitely not now.

    Why do people do this to their kids? Seriously. I’m all for a nice or unique name, but why do they willingly name their kids things that’ll get the shit kicked out of them when they’re older?

    Pirate. Peaches. Pilot Inspektor. Apple. Poet. Reignbeau. Banjo. Poppy Honey and Daisy Boo. Sage Moonblood.

    Isn’t it bad enough to be the child of one of these celebrity freaks?

  40. Ash Frog

    Didn’t Scrubs already explain why honor is a horrible name for a baby girl. Just imagine the schoolyard jokes.

    “Hey i got honor, did you get honor?”

    “Yah everyone got honor, cause she’s easy.”

    Now replace each of the “honor”s with “on her”. Pronounced the same way, but with a totally different meaning. That girl is so screwed. No pun intended.

  41. elle

    #17 oh gee, i don’t know. maybe it could be this thing called…oh what is it…emotional connection i think? i think that’s it. apparently you put looks aside and make a connection with their mand…mond…mind? mind, that’s it.

  42. Honor

    My name is Honor and I have to defend it! It’s not “weird” it’s just not trendy. It’s one of those old shool pilgrim names like Hope, Faith, Charity, Constance, etc. Super old fashioned, yes, “hollyweird” no. And guess what, kids get teased no matter what! And I definitely never got teased for my name.

    From these responses, I’m glad to see it’ll remain unpopular! It’s awesome having a name no one else has. I was worried for a second that Honor would become the next Madison.

  43. heather

    Or Olivia. I fucking loved that name until everyone started naming their god damn kid that.

  44. spicegrrl

    #14 Yeah, and no one did anything about Jennifer Lopez’s brats, because they’re so bigoted, right? You’re an idiot.

  45. 007 remembers Pussy Galore

    #28, 33 and love to #42 ….

    Take a look at Honor Blackman in “Goldfinger” – she had that name back in the ’60′s and made it hella work for her.

    “Pear”? Give me a motherfucking break. You try telling a new mom, “Hey, you got a nice Pear!” and see where THAT gets ya.

  46. Riccardo

    ‘Marie Warren’ sounds like ‘Mary Warren’, a lying character from Arthur Miller’s play “The Crucible”.


  47. The most overrated woman in the world gave birth and now has turned into a disgusting fat pig, so her overrating and fake praise is gonna get even harder to believe!
    Woah man, that’s such an ugly name.
    Anyway, what will happen with Alba now? now that she’s a gross fat pig (but at least managed to develop breasts and is no longer flat chested, not for too long though, only as long as she keeps breastfeeding), will she stop being a whore and stop taking all the whore, sex-objectified roles and flashing skin constantly with her holier-than-thout attitude, and will she gain any decency and self respect and be a good mother, and possibly attempt to take a serious role for once instead of playing a whore and flashing skin and being sex-objectified in her every movie? will she care about her baby and be a good mother or will getting back into the spotlight starving for some attention and overrating be a lot more important to her than her daughter?
    will she go back to anorexia? being ugly as sin without gallons of makeup on, without photoshop and special effects as she is, who knows (click on link for reference).
    and #10, when you were talking about being too skinny (to the point that you can see all your bones, you have no curves and you’re shaped like a 12 year old boy, like she was before getting pregnant) and having breasts too large, do you honestly consider a 32A cup too large for that? because before getting pregnant, the biggest Alba’s tits had ever been is a 34B, and they constantly morphed between 32A, 32B and 34B. Photoshop, bra stuffing and digital enhancing don’t make anybody’s boobs big. This is how her boobs looked pre-pregnancy, without photoshop or special effects, without bra stuffing, for real, and this is how they will look again when she’s done breastfeeding, yeah, who knew flat chest could be so large, right? lmao:

  48. Yay!! It’s a baby girl! We started a congratulations card for Jessica. Leave your own personal message…


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