Jessica Alba and Cash Warren get engaged

December 28th, 2007 // 69 Comments

Jessica Alba and Cash Warren hopped on the engagement bandwagon this week. Cash decided to make an honest woman out of Jessica who he met in 2004 on the set of Fantastic Four. It was recently announced that Cash put a baby up in that ass if I’m using the correct medical terminology which I’m 90% sure I am. The Associated Press reports:

“I can confirm that they are engaged,” Alba’s publicist, Brad Cafarelli, said in an e-mail to The Associated Press on Thursday.
The couple is expecting their first child in late spring or early summer, Cafarelli said.

I can’t believe all these young couples don’t realize that, Garth, marriage is a punishment for shoplifting in some countries. I also can’t believe I just blatantly ripped off Wayne’s World. If I start quoting Coneheads, I want you to give me my medication. And by medication, I mean hit me with your car.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. How Can Some People Be So Sadly Naive?

    #49

    Sweetie, it does take two people having unprotected sex in order to conceive. And, usually you only need one of them taking preventive steps to avoid conception. Therefore, sweetie, many women can simply tell their men that she’s the one taking the contraceptives and the man should no longer need a condom. And lots of men trust that their girlfriend will not trick them, so they don’t usually use a condom if they believe that the girlfriend in their hopefully monogamous relationship is taking some prevention already.

    Therefore, sweetie, it is a very easy trick for women to simply not tell their boyfriend that they have stopped taking their contraceptives and “unexpectedly” get pregnant.

    Of course Cash could have been paranoid that Jessica might stop taking her contraceptives and not telling him. But just like many other normal men who get stuck in this situation, they don’t think this way because they don’t know that some women can be that desperate.

  2. crrrr

    Congrats to both of them! Jess would sure be a cute wife and momma and they seem like a stable, loving couple.

  3. snatched

    Damn straight #51.

    Sex with a condom is no fun, that’s why this happens. I shudder to think back at how lucky I was that my two long-term girlfriends didn’t trick me. One was too career-oriented, and the other was too vain to have a baby. That’s why I trusted them, not because I had their word or promise to take birth control.

    I actually have a Latina step-aunt whose daughter pulled this exact same stunt with a guy she just met, who was training to be a doctor. She thought he would make a good salary so she “forgot” to take her pill. Literally, the first time they fucked, she got knocked up.

    He felt trapped ( because he was ) so he started partying, flirting with other girls, staying out all night. My stepcousin ( the daughter ) then dumped him, and now she’s stuck with the baby. What is this supposed to accomplish?

  4. louise56563

    wow,how nice to see them staying togerther.
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  5. YOU cannot say young people do not know love or marriage. marriage also do not mean punishment, in fact it means the fruit of true love, it also means responsibility and so on. On the whole it is a happy thing. DO NOT BELIEVE it . OK .follow me , and see their real experiences

  6. Jessica Alba looks like Jolin Tsai from Taiwan.

  7. whoa

    All kidding aside, that guy looks like a fucking Neanderthal. Reverse evolution, court-side.

    Cro-Magnon Man make baby in you, woman!

  8. ice dragon

    Look folks, its the latino slut!
    She should have gone into porn since thats all she seems born to do. Real acting should be handled by professionals.

  9. Congratulations!!!!!! It’s a good news !!!!!!!Good wishes for them !!!!!!!!!
    Go there to find a person like each of them !!!!!
    seekamillionaire .com !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!A rich man and a beautiful woman are waiting for you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Jessica is so cute!! And happy new year for all!!

  11. ice dragon

    See, now here you see the difference with most chicks here is that they approve of the knocked up trap.

    Thats because thats how they get their husbands….gettin’ knocked up.

    Except lesbian dating ally, who is just a Ho’

  12. ice dragon

    See, now here you see the difference with most chicks here is that they approve of the knocked up trap.

    Thats because thats how they get their husbands….gettin’ knocked up.

    Except lesbian dating ally, who is just a Ho’

  13. 63

    If she has herpes and she’s pregnant, that means she had unprotected sex with her boyfriend, so he has herpes too. Wow, her pussy must look good all disgustingly rashed and warted out *vomit*. Search for pictures of herpes on Google, if you have the stomach for it *vomit*. Does that mean the baby will come out all herpe’d out too?

    Superfish makes silly jokes about Paris and Britney having herpes and STD’s (which they don’t), but in reality, it seems like the STD’ed one and the one with herpes in Jessica Alba. Yuck.

  14. 64

    If she has herpes and she’s pregnant, that means she had unprotected sex with her boyfriend, so he has herpes too. Wow, her pussy must look good all disgustingly rashed and warted out *vomit*. Search for pictures of herpes on Google, if you have the stomach for it *vomit*. Does that mean the baby will come out all herpe’d out too?

    Superfish makes silly jokes about Paris and Britney having herpes and STD’s (which they don’t), but in reality, it seems like the STD’ed one and the one with herpes is Jessica Alba. Yuck.

  15. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_herpes

    Herpes has no cure, it’s permanent. So her pussy is disgusting forever. Yuck.

  16. FATPEOPLESUCK

    #29… Clean the pizza crust out of your keyboard and walk around the block. Carry a Life Alert with you in case you go into cardiac arrest.

  17. Mary K

    wow #11 you need to take a pill. oh and if you don’t like to read this stuff perhaps you should take your ass to another site.
    Oh and Cash is an ass so it won’t be long before they are broken up again. Then back together and so on and so on…..It just keeps going and going!

  18. blizzy

    A lake of fire? But wouldn’t the lake be made of water? And isn’t water non-flammable? Or is this flammable water we’re talking about here? I’m confused.

    And uh 2 middle fingers go out to Jessica Alba…way to take a guy who didn’t want to marry you and trap him with the ol’ “whoopsie forgot to take the birth control” manuever. Skanktastic!!!

  19. I really like Jessica’s simple beauty. Can’t seem to get fed up looking at her. wow!

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