Jessica White Celebrates Breaking Up With Sean Penn, Gets Arrested

Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Jessica White was arrested over the weekend after getting in a barfight with another woman. Except there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation, according to her lawyer: She was just a little too excited about leaving Sean Penn. RadarOnline reports:

“Jessica was out with a bunch of friends celebrating her new single status,” her attorney Mark Jay Heller said. “She just ended her relationship with Sean Penn and was celebrating.”
According to reports, White allegedly hit a woman repeatedly in the face and pulled her hair. She was then arrested outside of New York’s Avenue Lounge. She was held in police custody for over 12 hours.

While some of you might be wondering why Jessica’s lawyer would bring up Sean Penn, it’s safe to assume the legal community recognizes Sean’s hunger for rampant punching is transmitted sexually at this point. Of course, one might joke that means he must’ve had sex with Chris Brown and Mel Gib– Ho. Lee. Shit.