Jessica Simpson’s Still Pregnant, Everybody
Seen here waiting in the car for her mom to get back with a bag bursting at the seams with Chili’s take-out (No, really.), Jessica Simpson apparently heard all the recent rumors that she’s already given birth and decided to let everyone know there’s still a baby in her stomach so four full racks of ribs is a completely acceptable breakfast, shut up:
To everyone who keeps congratulating me on the birth of my baby girl…I’m still pregnant!! Don’t believe what you read ladies and gents.
In the meantime, it’s been nearly three weeks since Jessica has been photographed out in the open – These Chili shots are from Friday where she stayed in the car because her mom forgot the door butter again. – so how they’re managing to hide her pretty much confirms David Copperfield’s on her staff now.
PAPA JOE: Hello? David Copperfield? Joe Simpson here. Is it true you made the whole dang Statue a Liberty disappear?
DAVID: I did…
PAPA JOE: How’d you like to top that?
DAVID: You have my attention, Mr. Simpson.
PAPA JOE: Now hold’cher horses. First, you’re gonna tell me about that there secret island where you take women and touch their big ol’ pregnant breasts.
DAVID: Mr. Simpson, that is a sacred place you’re talking about. And, wait, did you say pregnant? Like your daughter?
PAPA JOE: Uh, bad connection. To hell with you, wizard! *hangs up*