Jessica Simpson’s Breasts Won The White House Correspondents’ Dinner

In honor of Bill Clinton, we’re going to get in and out of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner as soon as I figure out where its vagina is so I can stash this cigar. (Also, Barack Obama didn’t make with the weekly handjobs so I’d denounce Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior. That’s how blogging works. There are rules.) So here’s Jessica Simpson(‘s cleavage) looking fucking fantastic after she’s been the size of a house for almost a decade. And to make the evening a full rack of ribs for her, take a look at who else was there:

Tony Romo Candice Crawford White House Correspondents Dinner

What the possible hell could you be thumbs upping, Tony Romo? Jessica Simpson’s breasts are huge while your wife looks like a goddamn Real Housewife. (Read: 40. She looks 40.)

Photos: Getty, Splash News