Jessica Simpson’s Breasts Won The White House Correspondents’ Dinner

May 5th, 2014 // 20 Comments

In honor of Bill Clinton, we’re going to get in and out of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner as soon as I figure out where its vagina is so I can stash this cigar. (Also, Barack Obama didn’t make with the weekly handjobs so I’d denounce Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior. That’s how blogging works. There are rules.) So here’s Jessica Simpson(‘s cleavage) looking fucking fantastic after she’s been the size of a house for almost a decade. And to make the evening a full rack of ribs for her, take a look at who else was there:

Tony Romo Candice Crawford White House Correspondents Dinner

What the possible hell could you be thumbs upping, Tony Romo? Jessica Simpson’s breasts are huge while your wife looks like a goddamn Real Housewife. (Read: 40. She looks 40.)

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Jack Ketch

    A suit? Yet somehow he still looks like he needs a shower…

  2. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Skinny Weight Loss 100th Annual White House Correspondents Association Dinner
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “See Jessica, it’s funny because he’s the President of the United States, so….”
    (Furrows brow in a futile attempt to understand.)

  3. ace11

    she went from one loser to another in the man department

  4. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Skinny Weight Loss 100th Annual White House Correspondents Association Dinner
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The face you make when you’ve been sucking it in for an hour, with hours more to go before release. Panic for the pretty frock’s seams setting in, fighting hard with desire for delicious White House beers and gravies.

  5. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Skinny Weight Loss 100th Annual White House Correspondents Association Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like Tori Spelling’s husband.

  6. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Skinny Weight Loss 100th Annual White House Correspondents Association Dinner
    brick
    Commented on this photo:

    “Lost lens cover?” “Well it’s not under my arm or next to my right boob.”

  7. Jessica and communication are two words I never imagine to see together.

  8. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Skinny Weight Loss 100th Annual White House Correspondents Association Dinner
    david(guest)
    Commented on this photo:

    since when did Stevie Wonder start being a paparazzo?

  9. cc

    I can see why she’d be invited. After all, her body of literary work is both extensive and informative.

  10. Why are you posting photos from the 2002 White House Correspondents’ Dinner?

  11. I think Romo’s wife is beautiful. Of course, she’s no Jessica Simpson, but she’s incredibly pretty nonetheless.

  12. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Skinny Weight Loss 100th Annual White House Correspondents Association Dinner
    Dick Thunder
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t give a fuck, she looks friggin’ AWESOME ! I want to feed from her motherly teats and make her talk so I can hear her stupid.

  13. Ralph

    What happened to her ass? She is missing her ass!!!

  14. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Skinny Weight Loss 100th Annual White House Correspondents Association Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    lookin very awkward

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