Here’s Jessica Simpson in Italy today with her new boyfriend Eric Johnson who’s doing exactly what I’d be doing in his shoes: Staring directly at her cleavage while praying to sweet heaven she doesn’t talk and/or fart in a restaurant. That would make the sex we’d still have way more awkward than it need be.
JESSICA: So, about what happened in the restaurant…
ME: *starts crying* Could you at least let me fin- HADOUKEN! Never mind, I’m good. You were saying?
Photos: Splash News