Jessica Simpson’s Only Losing A Pound A Week Now

July 19th, 2012 // 118 Comments
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Back in January, Jessica Simpson claimed she’s going to look like Jessica Alba after giving birth which Weight Watchers thought it’d be a great idea to bet $3 million on. It’s now been three months since Jessica’s given birth and reality finally stopped by, presumably with donuts, because welcome to the PR blitzkrieg to make it look like Jessica meant to keep looking like this on purpose. RadarOnline reports:

“Jessica is losing weight slowly,” a friend close to Maxwell Drew Johnson’s mom told
“She’s not trying to drop 10 pounds a week or anything crazy like that. She wants to do it at her own pace and make sure she’s healthy.”
Jessica hits the gym frequently with celebrity trainer Harley Paternak, and she’s a dedicated student, according to the source.
“Her goal right now is to lose one pound a week and Harley’s training program is keeping her on that schedule,” the friend said.

Even if I set aside my usual horseshit about how all women should magically snap back from childbirth like Alessandra Ambrosio and be very generous to Jessica Simpson by allowing that, okay, maybe she’s genetically predisposed to be a “bigger girl,” a weight loss plan of one pound a week is still a huge red flag that she basically went, “Fuck it, I’m just getting pregnant again.” (Or that her gym is right next to a Chili’s.) This is like an alcoholic saying, “You know what? I’m only going to drink 23 beers out of a case every morning from here on out,” and then expecting everyone to call her an inspiration to “real women” everywhere. So, you go, girl. Keep reaching for those stars, when you have time. They’re not going anywhere. Funyun?

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. Sybianz

    Looks like she’s down to about 550 here.

  2. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    Kirstey Alley is looking young

  3. Jessica Simpson Fat Cleavage Workout Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    i think its great that it shows that u don’t just snap back after having a baby..

  4. Jessica Simpson Fat Cleavage Workout Clothes
    I weep for the future
    Commented on this photo:

    If your mothers saw how you turned out, you wouldn’t be here to make stupid remarks about a mother. What a bunch of dumbasses

    • Actually my mom is not bad looking. Shes in her 50s and looks better than that fat ass that weighed close to 200 lbs. Are u imbred or just fat? Either way its cool.

  5. Nikki

    I bet most of the people on here are fat and want to insult someone becuase they feel like crap. She had a baby! Gheesh… reality is that you gain weight sometimes. She has a tummy because she just had a baby. You superficial assholes need to give it up.

  6. Jessica Simpson Fat Cleavage Workout Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    Who let the dog out?! Who….who….who, who?!?!

  7. Jessica Simpson Fat Cleavage Workout Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    The curse of the white women. Once they get pregnant the body is gone FOREVER!!

  8. Jessica Simpson Fat Cleavage Workout Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s lost weight? She’s bigger than she was when she was pregnant! Here’s hoping she keeps gaining so she can do another reality show about being morbidly obese.

  9. blah

    I’ve hated this fat, talentless pig since she got on the scene. She deserves everything thats coming for her. “Oh im such an innocent virgin” bullshit. Yet she is not married (like she said she would be whenever she slept with someone) and claiming to “look like Jessica Alba” after pregnancy. Shes a fat cow and her kid will probably be as well

  10. Jessica Simpson Fat Cleavage Workout Clothes
    Daniel Rubio
    Commented on this photo:


  11. Jessica Simpson Fat Cleavage Workout Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    She is huge. I remember when I was younger being jealous of this fat whore for having big tits. now I am 110 lbs at 5’3 with big B cups. Everything this skank has can be bought- her lip injections, boobs, ass, weave, highlights, of course the cow forgot the lipo. I hate this bitch, always have. Her baby girl is ugly and a disgrace to America. Shannon McIntire google it

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