“And once again, this isn’t a Fuddrucker’s. Every time…”
Here’s Jessica Simpson wearing what people with vaginas tell me are “skinny jeans” which after tuning said vagina talkers out, I assume means they make your legs look thinner while doing absolutely nothing for your upper body. In fact, I’d go so far to say they make it look like you’re a marshmallow with toothpicks for legs, so I have no idea who the market it is for this. It’s not like there’s a demographic out there that will literally spend money on anything. Anything at all. Did you tape two pieces of string together and call it a pashlamina throw accent ribbon? This fictional group will take ten.
Photos: Splash News
Yeah sure, but they were Kirstie Alley’s skinny jeans.
i’m not fashion expert, but those are not skinny jeans.
No kidding – as far as I know, skinny jeans are straight-leg jeans that fit like strink wrap all the way down to your ankles. Since these look like they’re meant to be looser from the knee down, I think these are what’s called boot-cut jeans. Her fat calves are taking up some slack, but still.
At least we were spared the muffin top.
She’s not wearing jeans at all! Her legs actually turned blue from the Spanx cutting off the circulation to the bottom half of her body.
Yeah, they are ‘flared’ jeans and she’s still chubby.
Dillards? Movin on up! To the east side…we finally got a de-lux apt in the da sky-i-i.
She wore her skinny jeans, but still brought her fat ass.
Lol, those are bell bottoms, NOT skinny jeans.
You meant ‘dinner bell bottoms’ I think.
I was just thinking the same thing! The girl in black pants and heels holding her arm in the one photo is wearing skinny jeans.
“A stick of butter wrapped in bacon! WHERE!?!”
“I can has cookie dough?”
She’s getting skinnier but she’s not quite there yet. She’s looking pretty good though.
The fan she’s signing that for just had a big KFC lunch, and she can smell it on them.
When’s that wedding?
Ben Savage needs to go back to a shorter haircut.
She makes vapid so cute.
Keep those knockers holstered and hoisted Jess.
Which one here is Ashlee? The one on the left who’s 5 seconds from cutting herself or the one on the right who looks like escaped from an asylum where she was treated for being “too happy”.
J-e-s-s-i-k-a, there. Good luck trying to wear my shoes again, Ashlee.
Never let her near the control room of a nuclear reactor. All it takes is her bending down to look at some controls and those tits could trigger a meltdown.
Someone’s daydreaming about cup-cake pizza.
There’s nothing quite like the feeling of being the first person called to the buffet.
“I said, ‘Would you please make it out to Stacy.’ Where did you hear ‘Choco-Taco’ in any of that?”
Haaahahaha!
Now if she’d only wear a pair of skinny jeans on her head.
“*sniff* *sniff* Snausages?”
Under normal circumstances a look like this meant Jon Hamm’s penis is in the room. But you know she’s looking at a burger.
Um, that’s a flare leg jean. Skinny jeans hug the calves and taper through the ankle. Whoever originally came up with this headline should be back handed.
These are not skinny jeans, they are bootcut jeans
Those aren’t skinny jeans.
That’s not a skinny ass.
They may be skinny jeans, but she’s still hiding her fat ass.
clearly a flared leg jean. also – she’s looking great. now she just needs to do something with the hair.
She and Britney keep sporting the greasy, stringy blonde extensions look. I don’t get it.
That’s what happens when you bend over a plate of chicken-fried steak and gravy all the time and don’t wash your hair.
That marshmallowness you talked of, I think that’s the size of her tits making the shirt billow out farther than her body.
Wow, that is the most enthusiastic photographer ever.
Done with mirrors.
That arrow has some astounding gravitational pull. Or it’s pointing to the nearest IHOP.
I…smell…bacon!!!
Only in this fucking country is it considered to be some kind of victory to be admired and applauded that a fat fucking celeb idiot lost some god damn weight.
This is supposed to be a role model? This vacant stared slack jawed fatass never-been?
I just want to see her tits……….
I just want to see the boobies ! ! ! ! ! ! !
I just want them, both of those gigundo norks in my mouth !
Not skinny jeans. Are their vaginas broken?
She needs to fire her stylist.This outfit does nothing but make her look larger. The week before she looked amazing and much smaller.. That being said-She is a beautiful women no matter what her size. She clearly is uncomfortable with the extra weight, if you view the gallery of photos from her “photo shot” you can cleary see, ie pulling tugging if the shirt. People should just let her be and give her time to figure out what she is comfortable with.
i should probably be offended by the demographic link but that shit is funny.
She always looks confused, like as if someone asked her how they get the cream in the middle of the two oreo cookies.
She really needs to kiss and make up with Ken Paves. Her hair has looked like crap ever since he kicked her to the curb.
she looks good, but those look like boot cut
She’s getting back to the point where I’d actually pound her out again.
So when did Lane Bryant start making skinny jeans?
urgh .
fat people are so fucking gross.
shAME SHE USED TO BE ALMOST PERFECT ..NOT ANYMORE THO
I know, that, as a woman, I should be angry, but this post was fucking comedy gold.
You mis-spelled Shatner. :)
Superficial writer, those are not skinny jeans. Now, stop pretending that women speak to you
Her boobs are so damn big, she has to rest them on the table. I would be going to the dr to have those implants removed!