Jessica Simpson Isn’t Even Hiding It (UPDATE: And Now We Know Why)

October 25th, 2011 // 71 Comments

Here’s Jessica Simpson in New York this morning – still wearing the same top and pants from the weekend (Net worth: $1 billion) – where she’s entirely given up trying to hide her stomach that experts now say is six months pregnant. Of course, she’s probably only three-to-four, but this wouldn’t be a Jessica Simpson post if we didn’t highlight the fact she’s way bigger than she’s supposed to be. It’s important to have consistency.

In the meantime, she started tweeting photos of herself peeing now, so it’s actually quite beautiful of Jessica Simpson to include us in the pregnancy process, and I’m not just saying that to coax breastfeeding photos out of her. How dare you.. suggest I’d be sucker for such a beautiful and intimate moment between mother and child? (Use a high resolution camera.)

UPDATE: So Tony Romo’s wife is pregnant. Really explains everything, doesn’t it?

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News


  1. DogBoy

    I’d hit it, even if the sweater twins are “for the baby”

  2. Cock of the..

    She is straining those boots… they weren’t meant for walking..

  3. Cock Dr

    OMG she is so knocked up.
    But she’s not married!

    • Artofwar

      ….I’m quite ashamed to remember this much more admit it—-I remember when Miss Sexual Napalm here use to wear a chastity ring on her finger, and would boast about it in every interview that the ring’s significance was a promise to her then highly religious father that she would not allow for the walls of her cunt to be stretched until marriage.

      Yet after one failed marriage, and slew of men pounding out her spleen—here she is with a belly full of human and unwed. Her highly religious father has now become an incestuous pimp, and the daughter a Hollywood bed hopper.

      But more importantly— whatever happen to that ring???….Artofwar

      • awhitedude


      • Misty

        He who hasn’t sinned cast the first stone… I really hope your judging because you are absolutely perfect… and since you are perfect you need to call the news and tell them you have returned oh perfect one.

      • Jack Ketch

        I couldn’t have said this better myself. The pious minister’s highly-religious daughter flaunting her pregnancy by an unemployed hanger-on. And her father tries to exploit this by asking for half a mil ??? Fucking shameless, common-as-dirt hypocrites, no better than the Kardashians … in fact worse.

      • Jillia

        Hollywood corruption is what happenend.

        Your perspective though has me thinking and it’s really kind of sad where this family came from and where they are now. They’ve completely abandoned their values and are just like every other Hollyweird family out there. I get that all families are dysfunctional in some way, but I bet if their former selves saw what they are now, they wouldn’t even recognize themselves.

        Is it weird that even though she’s pregnant, this is the best I think she’s looked in a while??

      • Jack Ketch

        @ Misty … Artofwar is not making a judgement at all. This is an observation based on fact; all the stuff he posted is true. She is utterly shameless and so is her family. Now she is knocked up with the spawn of an unemployed drop-out and proud of it ?? Imagine the intellect this child will have given the gene-pool: that of a turd with eyeballs. Here’s another observation based on fact. Those boots are fuckin’ ugly.

  4. Deacon Jones


  5. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, the “wear huge chunky boots because everything above is big & chunky too” tactic. I know it well.
    It helps if the boots aren’t ugly as sin though.

  6. bj

    well thank god she’s pregnant and just not fat because that would be disgusting. good thing that’s finally cleared up and I can sleep at night now.

  7. Suede/Pleather/Rubber Knee High Wedge boots? Yeesh. She actually looks pretty good for her pregnany imo now that she has an explanation for the extra pudge.

  8. Just imagine those milk duds!

  9. Two things piss me off about this and they both have to do with the Tony Romo link: 1. It’s fucking Fox News (puke) and 2. They called him her ex-finance. REALLY? These are “journalists”…with and “editors” and they couldn’t catch that typo?

    • CranAppleSnapple

      Anything that threatens to include a photo of that hideous shit-eating Tony Romo face …pisses me off.

  10. Richard McBeef, MD

    I would prescribe her some industrial stool softeners and wait 24 hours before jumping to any conclusions.

  11. Amy W

    Did anyone else notice if you click on the link to Fox News the Headline reads “Ex-Finance” instead of “Ex-fiance” …. just the level of intelligence I expect from Fox News and it’s Editors.

    • m

      i love how you’re mocking fox news for a grammatical error but misused “its” in the same go. amazing.

      • Grace

        Moral of the story: be careful when you play the Language Police – it can bite you in the ass and bitchslap you across the face.

      • I’d like to also point out the random capitalization, missing comma, and inappropriate number of ellipses.

        Amy, the train to grammar concentration camp is pulling into the station. You may fill one pillow case with personal effects…which will be taken from you and burned.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        LOL McFeely!

  12. mrsmass

    so how do experts know she’s 6 months along? based on her stomach? because that’s what i looked like at 9 months, minus the huge fucking cans of course.

  13. Deacon Jones

    I envision her having a manic breakdown during the first week she has it home from the hospital……

    The girl down the street from me just got arrested for walking to her mailbox, butt naked, and attempting to stuff her baby in it.

    Women, I tell ya, they’re nuts!!

    • Richard McBeef

      girl down the street – pics?

    • kimmykimkim

      Holy Shit! No way, Deacon! Damn, people are fuuuuucked up! That’s more exciting (probably shouldn’t use that word. Doing it anyway) than when some dude in my town shot himself in the head. At Sonic Drive-in. During lunch. On a weekday. And then there was that time the mayor shot her daughter and then killed herself. Oh, the suburbs. What fun. First time I’ve ever heard of naked mailbox baby stuffing though. God, that’s fucked up.

    • TomFrank

      Deacon, were you able to ogle butt-naked girl, or did the wife pull you away from the window?

  14. dontkillthemessenger

    I’m just hoping Pete Wentz is the father. Regardless, there’s a 2% chance of this child being normal.

  15. terry

    She would be a great sex partner right now! Luscious, wet, tasty, still firm butt and those big delicious boobs….mmmmmm

  16. Diane

    I would love to know who writes these douchy items. I notice you never put your name on the misogynistic b.s. that you write on a daily basis. At any rate, I think she looks fantastic and she’s always seemed like a sweet girl so I dont’ know why you have to act like you wouldn’t give your right nut to be with a chick this hot and beautiful. Would love to see a photo of YOU, Mr. Anonymous Author.

  17. Haddo01

    She’s already come out as pregnant on a magazine cover…so maybe that’s why…clearly….

  18. zomgbie

    why is she famous?
    oh yeah- she farts a lot.

  19. Can you imagine her giving birth? It’s gonna be one nasty occurance; moreso than any other pregnancy. I’m basing this on her personal hygiene habits.

  20. Pamela

    I don’t get what Romo announcing TODAY that his wife is pregnant has anything to do with why she is pregnant/hasn’t been hiding it for days….are you implying they’re still bff’s who tell each other everything and so she knew already? I kinda doubt it. So therefore, it makes no sense. Maybe Romo announced it now since Jessica finally came out with hers. Makes just as much sense.

  21. Dan

    Eh… don’t care.

  22. anonym

    I hope the magazines don’t pay shitloads of money to see her ugly butt chinned baby

  23. glinda

    why ain’t daddy got the shotgun out yet?

  24. Jessica was shopping her pregnancy announcement around all the tabloids as recently as last week, when she’s clearly already 13 months pregnant. Did nobody tell her you can’t sell an announcement after it’s obvious? Are any of us surprised she can’t do math?

  25. Jamie

    That is how big I was the day I went in to deliver my full term twins. That poor girl, she’s going to be as big as a house by the time she gets done with this pregnancy…

  26. Amy

    Counting back…it seems like she might have gotten pregnant as soon as she learned about Tony Romo’s wedding…

  27. anon

    almost wish she would fall on her ass. it’ll teach her not to wear stupid boots while pregnant

  28. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    Racer X
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d cum inside her.

  29. joe simpson

    He told ‘GQ’ magazine that his daughter “never tries to be sexy. She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she’s sexy in both. She’s got double Ds! You can’t cover those suckers up”?

    Girl hasn’t done too bad, considering…

  30. Mama Pinkus

    what’s with the Frankenstein shoe fad? Ladies, it looks RIDICULOUS

  31. Carolyn

    Where’s that stupid Yalie football leech she’s engaged to?

  32. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    oh i know
    Commented on this photo:

    jeez, she went from “hiding it” to 8 months along pretty flippin fast!! :0

  33. samuel

    those boobs are going to be like milk tankers…

  34. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Great now she is going to have dumb ass babies like her. We need to keep these people sterile.

  35. forrest gump

    well, just try to imagine a HUGE pile of shit, folks!!

  36. Laney

    She looks beautiful!!! Those baggy clothes she normally wears need to be burned. She looks great and probably a lot smaller than all of the fat asses sitting at home on their computer bashing her.

  37. Mee Mee

    How did this skanky whore get to be worth 1 billion?

  38. JUST ME

    Maybe that’s why Romo is having a hard time concentrating on playing football and He just announced his wife is pregnant, lol!

  39. angela

    a gdzie polacy?

  40. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    is she wearing a bra

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