Jessica Simpson: ‘I Get My Glow From Sweat!’

By: The Superficial / November 29, 2011

Perhaps because her life has become a dark, desolate cage thanks to a lack of corn syrup and Funyuns, Jessica Simpson has become one of America’s deepest philosophers now even though these photos of her shopping at GaGa’s Workshop last night are basically the equivalent of shoving her head up her vagina and screaming “FUCK YOU!” into her unborn baby’s face. Via Just Jared:

“People always say that when you’re pregnant, you glow, but I say it’s because of all the sweating you do!”

What’s truly amazing about that quote is the fact that the very next sentence somehow wasn’t this:

[SNOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRTT.]

Journalism used to be an art. That’s all I’m saying.

Photos: Splash News