That’s A Baby In Jessica Simpson’s Belly

October 23rd, 2011 // 80 Comments

After weeks of speculating, and even given my piss-poor track record that should preclude me from ever stepping foot in a birth canal, I think it’s safe to say Jessica Simpson is actually pregnant and not just fulfilling her membership obligations to The 5,000 Ribs Club. Except now that I said that, her dad’s probably going to hold a press conference confirming she swallowed another punch bowl. Or one of those turtle sandboxes. Whichever holds the most ranch.

UPDATE: And her fetus already brought the McRib back with its mind. Oh, good.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet


  1. Michael

    My reaction to this whale is at the 36 second mark and beyond.

    • Michael

      And she was gorgeous back then! Gorgeous Christian women were hard to find! When did she get a big-ass gut?

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