So Here’s Jessica Simpson In A Penis Mask
If you’re mind is even capable of processing words right now, ginormously pregnant Jessica Simpson was at a bachelorette party over the weekend and apparently decided to compensate for not being able to drink her usual 800 margaritas by tweeting a photo of herself in a giant, grotesque penis mask complete with testicles for a chin. Even more surprising,
not a speck of barbecue sauce she posted this on Sunday, yet somehow it took the Internet until yesterday to notice, so obviously I blame all the SOPA hoopla. Yes, the very fabric of the Internet is in danger, but can we at least try to stay focused on celebrities wearing huge cocks for a face? Otherwise, what are we even fighting for?