Weight Watchers Actually Released The New Jessica Simpson Commercial

December 20th, 2012 // 25 Comments
Jessica Simpson Weight Watchers
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Considering her first commercial had to be entirely shot from the neck up which she made up for by quitting her diet and getting pregnant again, you’d just assume Weight Watchers would write Jessica Simpson off as a business loss and go back to having meetings that don’t end with “SNORT. Did y’all hear that?” Instead, they went ahead and released Jessica’s latest commercial anyway even though everyone knows the end result was, “Please, let me force another person through my vagina instead of doing this. For the love of God!” Also, you can tell these people really aren’t the greatest marketers because I’m pretty sure the subtext of this video is “Weight Watchers: We won’t judge you if you drive into the mountains to eat a whole dog. Because, seriously, did you notice the dog was missing? We had to tell the shelter a coyote ate it.”

superficial

  1. This video was originally shot in 30:9 ratio.

  2. WG

    She’s still big, its like I’m taking crazy pills here

  3. I think you can tell from her breasts that she must be wearing full-body Spanx in this. Also, notice how the untucked buttoned shirt strategically covers her ass during the one shot of her from behind.

    • Jack Ketch

      And how her waist is de-emphasized … she’ll be as big as a Volkswagen again in a few short months anyways. No self-control whatsoever.

  4. karlito

    she’ll never be the size she was when she did the “Dukes of Hazards” movie and music video. she must have dieted big time for several weeks before stripping off into that red bikini. she’ll never be that small again just like Christina Aguilera. her “Dirty” days are long gone and now she has “embraced” her bigger size…which means…i’ll never go on a diet again cuz i’ve given up.

    • Sue

      She COULD be if she stopped eating so much and worked out the way she used to. I think she just stopped caring.

  5. JC

    Considering that she looked like a hot air balloon with feet during her pregnancy, this is actually pretty good.

  6. EricLr

    Kudos to the CGI genius who made her not look like Jabba the Hutt after a Christmas egg-nog bender. You are the Picasso of pixels, sir!

  7. elephantman

    Lets see her in a bikini! Thats the real proof!

  8. wow

    Why isnt she singing in the video at least? why have some scary voice ?

  9. She’s beautiful as she turns 180 degrees like a mirage of water in the sand. You don’t notice what she actually weighs. Love the belt.

  10. anonymous

    Yeah right….totally believable that she drives around in the country in a beat pick up truck. Just like it’s totally believable she lost all that weight on Weight Watchers.

  11. inkydink

    she’s still chubby

  12. Schmidtler

    Nice job having her pose in front of mountains and shit to make her look smaller in comparison.

  13. Deacon Jones

    It would’ve been funny if she fell off the truck

  14. BB

    Irredeemably depressing.

  15. Is is possible to be this crappy at acting? Are we sure this isn’t a ful CGI creation?

  16. Poop-head

    She’s famous for being (1) fat and (2) stupid, often at the same time.

  17. mrsmass

    clearly this was not taped recently.

  18. This commercial looks like it was filmed before her first pregnancy.

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