That’s Jessica Johnson To You

July 15th, 2014 // 4 Comments

Because weird Instagram photos that she actually thinks are sexy is Jessica Simpson‘s new bag, here she is announcing to the word that she’s Jessica Johnson now. Which seems sad at first, until you realize there’s no possible way anyone could’ve explained what a mark is without her going, “Haha! That’s a boy’s name.” Then again, the two-year-old might get it and start stashing money away in her dollhouse. Someone fetch me my puppets. — What? You don’t have puppets? That makes you the weirdo, not me.

Photos: Instagram


  1. dontkillthemessenger

    If Joe Simpson was my dad, I would’ve changed the name a long time ago.

    I also would’ve suspected something when he said, “Look at the glutes on him… he must work out.”

  2. Cock Dr

    She got the big ceremony & the ring,
    Jess is now re-hydrating & is off the StairMaster, maybe forever.

  3. Let’s call her JJ from now on.

  4. Robb7

    Implants or real??!!

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