Jessica Simpson is So Happy For Nick Lachey. SO HAPPY!

November 11th, 2010 // 48 Comments

Jessica Simpson wants everyone to know she hasn’t filled her jacuzzi with Rocky Road and couldn’t be more ham-(Easy, girl.)-fistedly happy for Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo, according to People:

“I am extremely, extremely happy for him,” the singer-actress, 30, told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show Thursday. “I couldn’t be more happy for Nick.”
Simpson dismissed rumors that she wasn’t thrilled to hear that Lachey, 37, got engaged this month to girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo, 30.
“I don’t know where all those rumors came from,” she said. “My mom actually called me and told me that everybody was saying that I was ‘saddened.’ And I was just in complete shock.”
She added: “You know, our relationship was over a really long time ago, so it would be nice if everybody could move on with us.”

And there went the price of the cocoa bean. Thanks, Jessica Simpson. There really hasn’t been enough financial collapse lately. For your next trick could you announce you’re vegetarian? I’ve always wanted to see what it would like if the entire cattle industry went out back and shot itself in the face.

Photos: Flynet


  1. dirtbag

    she getting fatter

  2. RoboZombie


  3. Jones

    pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy

  4. She’s on her way to Fat Chicks R Us to buy even baggier clothing now.

  5. pete

    She said “Come everybody, it’s no big deal, don’t have a cow. Seriously, don’t. I’ve having it for dinner.”

  6. Jumpin_J

    Why did it have to be chocolate?Why? Damn you Jessica, damn you to h-e-double hockey sticks.

  7. alex

    While I still find her to be the celeb I’d most want to bang, she does appear to be rounding out a little bit…a little bit.

  8. Spense

    Fish you need to get on the ball and hunt down those Aly Michalka Maxim pics. WTF are you posting about Jessica Simpson when those exist?

  9. Ash Bones

    Aww :( 30 sucks.

  10. Kelley

    Newsflash … skinny jeans look like hell on chunky broads :|

  11. burton

    she needs to stop witht he botox and fillers….

  12. Grand Dragon

    She looks like Taylor Momsen after eating Myley Cyrus

  13. Keith

    Bitch never looks happy. She knows every guy hanging around her is just in it for some blonde porker fun, before they tire and move on.

  14. Facebook me

    What is the moo-moo she is sporting?

    Her next career move – the NEW face for Lane Bryant!

    Way to go there Jessie!

  15. Jeez that shirt is almost a moo-moo. Im sure shes happy. Havin a whale of a time.

  16. JesseJimmy

    I hope Elsie’s ready to retire. Borden has a new spokescow.

  17. Jake

    Chubby and 30 don’t mix.

  18. First

    Correction- “…filled the tub with Rocky Road and ham…”

  19. i would love to suck on her asshole every morning after an evening of shitting under the covers…

  20. Jessica Simpson
    Commented on this photo:

    Leave her alone – she’s not even fat. No she isn’t anorexic like Victoria Beckham but she is far from fat. Also who said Nick Lachey was a good catch anyway? He’s a dumb former boy band memer who is only famous for being Jess Simpson’s ex. She can do better than him. Also her new guy is way hotter!

  21. Nik

    Nick was a decent, handsome guy. She broke up with Lachey and got fat as hell…

    Now he’s on to the good life, with a beautiful chick and she’s STILL to dumb to realize her mistake.

    Nick kicks ass. Jessica is a dope.

  22. EET MORE CHIKEN!!!!!! Hahahahahahahahaha …

  23. !!!!!!!

    well granted they both have shitty careers now, at least her fashion lines keep bringing in the millions. i’d rather be a has been with millions earned annually than a has been who’s living off my ex-wife’s divorce settlement which is about to run out in 3, 2, 1.

  24. elephantman

    i’d hit it! then give her a sandwitch!

  25. Jessica Simpson
    Commented on this photo:

    Hope the stud is keeping her happy.

  26. Zeus

    An insidher tells me her turds are full of corn kernels.

  27. ExpletiveBMP

    Maybe I’m wrong, but, Jessica seemingly was never into Nick. But forget that bit, in all those episodes I watched when some one always cut the cheese in the suv, it’s good to know it was Jessica, this girl is the most awesome dame since Eve, just before she started talking to Strangers.

  28. I love you guys

    ‘That’s like saying the ocean’s a tad damp.’
    Jumpin J, you made me spit out my wine. Love it.
    And come on, Lachey DID NOT get any of her friggin’ money. He had plenty of his own which is why she didn’t want a prenup when they got married!
    She thought she was hot shit after Dukes of Wankers and dumped a really good guy only to become less relevant than a cassette player. Now she has porked it up (yes, you heard me all you ‘love yourself’ morons) and can’t keep a guy unless he is a has-been on an even bigger scale than she is.

  29. This is the moment when it really hits her that your ex’s new bitch was an upgrade. This is also the moment when you realize that as good as it tasted, the 19 pizzas you hogged down weren’t really worth it.

  30. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Jessica Simpson made such a big deal out of “saving herself” for marriage. What good did it do her in the long run? Theres no guarentee you having your hymen intact when you wed is gonna lead to a lifetime of rainbows and unicornstogether!

    • NeNe

      Wow!! That is pretty deep, and completely true. Good point!

    • True and now how does that work? You save yourself for the first husband but then after your divorce you screw the first guy you date because you were busted already? If I was the guy “dating” her before the first marriage, I’d be fuckin pissed !

      • mamamiasweetpeaches

        I never understood those chicks who say they are saving themselves for marriage for religious reasons. THEN after they get divorced do they wait til they’re wed again to have realtions again? Of course not! Once that cherrys gone it gives them license to sleep with whoever they want! Where did the “religious reasons” GO?

        Thats why I dont buy into that Catholic guilt thing. I like to actually DRIVE a few cars before I BUY one! ;)

  31. Hank Rearden

    This is a tragedy. One of the all-time hottest babes in her prime, and now she’s becoming, not just older, but fat and disgusting.

  32. Hank Rearden

    Where have you gone, Jess? Thank god the internet has captured you at your best. Google: Jessica Simpson Maxim Cover. Yowza!

  33. wim

    you think it’s funny living with NO brains at all?

  34. madison

    $50.00 says she gets engaged on Christmas eve, day, or new years.
    Who wants it?

  35. mamamiasweetpeaches

    ^ well apparently she JUST got engaged like yesterday Hahaha. It was the first thing I really saw on here this morning. Its so freakin SAD shes now tryin to race Nick to the alter. Oh Jessica. You poor fool.

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