Jessica Simpson is Fat, Ergo Pregnant

September 16th, 2010 // 88 Comments

Another roll on Jessica Simpson, another story about how it has to be a baby. The National Enquirer reports:

The Dukes of Hazzard stunner is so thrilled over the prospect of becoming a mom, she’s started “eating for two,” say insiders.
“It looks like Jessica’s dream of having a baby is finally coming true,” a close friend told The ENQUIRER.
“She’s crazy in love with Eric – so they’ve decided to make a baby.”

Granted the math is there: Broke boyfriend + Ashlee Simpson has one, but just once I’d like to see some editor somewhere not immediately go the lazy pregnancy route. Maybe something like, “Jessica Simpson Puts on Weight, Hamburgers Must Be Delicious.” I don’t think that’s asking too much.

Photos: Fame, Splash News


  1. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    No comment on the girl with the hitler mustache in the background…WTF!!

  2. Deacon Jones

    Pic 11.

    And….what would jesus do?

  3. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll nail her fat ass

  4. Both of the women in that pic have mustaches on their index fingers.

    • meow

      haha weird… i was wondering what those squiggles were.
      BTW I think that dress JS has on is hot. Wonder what it is.

  5. Taz

    Pot belly.

  6. Armando

    First bitches! Now can I just show some love for Jessica? She is one the most beautiful women in all of LaLa Land. So the bitch likes to eat, is that any reason to knock on her? Ya know she one nutrionist away from Daisy Dukes and you freaks getting your rock on. That being said, if she’s pregnant so much the better, prego women get really, really horny and can you imagine what Miss “Sexual Naplam” will be like in the sack then?

    • Holy fuck great point..however.. would u seriously want her on you riding it at that weight. Hm. Ok yeah i would lol

      Funny was just ordering pork when the article posted. Coincidence? I think not

    • ___

      “she one nutritionist away…”
      You probably say “Ima be” and you probably “ax” someone a question too. But I digress. If this bitch is really eating for two look out, she’s going to get HUGE. That’s a major mistake, women eating for two when they’re pregnant. A 7 pound infant does not qualify as a whole other person.

      • ___

        And what a great Christian, by the way. Trying to pop out a kid when she’s not even married. I’m just saying.

    • Polk

      She a silly fat hillbilly. Redneck love her because it reminds them of their silly fat hillbilly mothers.

      If she has a baby, she’ll blimp up to hippotamus size, and never return. But, because her boyfriend knows this, he’s certain to prevent said pregnancy from occurring. The free ride is fun for now, but no one wants to be tied to that anchor long term.

  7. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    Heck, I’d put a baby in there!!

  8. Bob

    HAHAHA!!! I love the mustache finger on the girl behind her.

  9. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Let these goofballs have their delusional moment of couplehood happiness. Life is short.
    They will probably have pretty babies, and then a very nasty divorce/custody/money battle in open court. It’s all good.
    He’s really got a firm grip on her doesn’t he? There must be an ice cream truck or a hot dog vendor nearby.

  10. I don’t care. I would still knock the bottom outta that before her ass hit the floor……


  11. Yay jessica can now stick her big fat gut out and be all proud :-) am happy for her u kno shes been after this since she was dating overthrowmo. Ok so who called this last week lol–and lindsay the week before. Did paris announce she wants kids yet? Or is that in 5.. 4.. 3..

  12. Righty Whitey

    I’d hit the shit outta that fine ass bitch. She’d look even hotter with about 15 steaming loads of my jizz all over her face and big ass titties….

  13. Ned

    I’d give her a handful of laxatives, then let her use my mouth as her toilet

  14. jkhjkh

    jessica simpsons boobs will fill up with milk soon…

    praise be to allah

  15. It had to be said

    Yeah, she’s got a little pot belly. And I would fuck the shit out of her.

  16. Alyssa

    She looks like Britney Spears in Picture 11.

  17. britt

    Why is Geekologie and I Watch Stuff reported as attack sites? WHA HAPPEN

  18. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not even beautiful in that picture. looks like a squirel…..a fat squirel…

  19. Audrey

    She’s a mess…..

  20. McFeely Smackup

    She just looks fat to me, not pregnant.

    and yes, I think it IS fair to criticize her for packing on the pounds. She has no marketable skill beyond looking hot, so what does she have to offer if she’s fat?

    Sure she has the right to get fat, and we have the right to point out that we don’t want to see it, so forget about ‘working” any more.

  21. dani

    So, does that mean she’s been pregnant for the past two years?

  22. Amanda-La

    Wow, she looks prettier than I’ve seen her look in a long time. She’s really tan and her hair looks awesome and her skin is really pretty. Good for her. :)

  23. Mr. OBvious

    Look if John Mayer says that she’s “sexual cocaine”, I’ll still do her if she puts on another 50 lbs.

  24. Racer X

    I’d hit her fat titties and ass like there’s no tomorrow. Then bust on her face.

  25. Amy

    I love how “having a baby” is a “dream.” I spend most of my time NOT trying to have one. Plus, almost any retard over 12-15 can have one.

  26. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    nice mustache

  27. Blimpy

    That fucking face. Holy shit, in Pic 11, I thought it was Shitney Spears. Go look now, you won’t believe it.

    Good to see she’s still rocking the calf implants.

    And by the way, esp. in pic 11, don’t her tits look small?

  28. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks pretty

  29. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    Gawd love the hipsters and their cute tattoos…and all this time we thought Hitler was in Brazil when in fact he was really in the entoruage of some silly cow of a Floridian….and you have to love the Bismarck stache on the index finger of the other inbred in the blue dress.

  30. anon

    People people this pics have been manipulated. She may have small pot belly & most women do but go back & look at several pics out there last nite & especially the ones of Jessica beside the ROCKETS. she is very tiny slender & those women are heads taller then her also. If you look at her assistent even she looks larger then she is & she is much smaller then Jess.. These pics have been altered for effect & a story & your all buying into it..
    Even her assistant looks larger here then last nite at Macys’ so seriously these trashy sites are just that trash.

  31. Banana

    She’s probably all of a whole size 6. Still small, just not by hollyweird’s standards. I think her face is prettier with a little weight on it. I never thought she was anything special back in her hey day with Nick.

  32. Banana

    What does “sexual napalm” mean anyway?

  33. SoFine

    Wait, haven’t we seen this before
    Rich girl and broke boyfriend = Brittney Spears and Kevin Ferderline

    I’m just sayin

  34. Rough is raw

    Eating for two?Oh that’s nice. I hope his ears didn’t start to bleed…

  35. surewhynot

    Finger Mustache win!

  36. eatme

    is that hitler behind her?

  37. are you sure about this Fish?

    She’s pregnant ?!?! Who the hell got that close to her.

  38. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    john smith
    Commented on this photo:

    i’d still fuck her and love every second of it

  39. Marcus

    I would do her in the delivery room.

  40. Brian

    Does anyone notice the chick in the back round with her finger to her upper lip? She has a mustache drawn on her finger

  41. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF – that chic is funny as fuck

    Side note – She looks good even packing it on. I’d it that HARD then I’d hit it again. Smokin’

  42. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    you suck
    Commented on this photo:

    how is this fat? your a hairy ass retard if your glasses wont focus enough to show you this is not fat.

  43. Um

    Girls. FYI. If you look like this. Guys still want to fuck the shit out of you…and any dude that says otherwise is probably gay.

  44. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:


  45. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Willy Wonka
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks borderline retarded…

  46. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    now that im looking… she doesnt look fat. she just probably isnt 105lbs, like she used to be. whatever.

  47. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    she does look pretty. awww.

  48. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sorry but I still think she looks gorgeous and incredibly healthy. This is what women are supposed to look like.

  49. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    ergo hot as fn hell. whats wrong with you people??

  50. Jessica Simpson Might Be Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    Dam… I’d love to blow my wad all over her face.

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