Jessica Simpson has essentially farted what last shred of dignity she had left out the window by announcing her engagement to Eric Johnson within days of Nick Lachey announcing his to Vanessa Minnillo. The news was first reported by Us Weekly Sunday morning, and then confirmed by Jessica’s rep along with the following one-handed tweet from Papa Joe:
So very happy for Jess and Eric. May they have a lifetime of joy and happiness.
You really have to respect Eric Johnson’s discipline for working the long con on this one. By waiting for the right moment – And what better one than Nick Lachey getting engaged? – he was able to make the whole thing seem like Jessica’s idea, who’s now too busy getting a wedding dress custom welded, she’s not even thinking about a pre-nup. To put things into perspective, I could’ve successfully proposed to Jessica Simpson within five minutes of a first date that involved nothing but me going “Honk! Honk!” while making squeezing motions with my hands, so talk about patience. Clearly, the man’s a professional.
NOTE: Added pics of Jessica’s engagement ring which she flashed all over a Kansas Dillard’s Saturday, a full day before the engagement was even announced. She might as well have wrote “Fuck you, Vanessa” across her knuckles in barbecue sauce because at this point, why put on airs?