Jessica Simpson is Designing Scuba Gear Now. Oh, Good.
Because why not? Jessica Simpson’s billion dollar fashion franchise has a new Scuba line now, according to her Twitter, which hopefully will stick to clothing and go absolutely nowhere near the gear itself.
DIVER #1: Alright, team, let’s roll out. *puts on mask, spits it off* What the shit? Gravy?
DIVER #2: PFFT! Ah, God, Bisquick…
DIVER #3: Animal crackers over here.
DIVER #4: My tank’s just a banana with a straw in it.