Despite not even setting a date yet and openly contemplating eloping, Jessica Simpson is personally designing her wedding dress. And by personally designing I mean a team of other people and her mom are doing all the work. People:
“I couldn’t do this without my mom. We have the same eye,” Jessica says. “[She's] been my stylist since I was born.” The two approve every item in the Jessica Simpson line, down to the button. “It’s a three-step process,” Tina explains. “We see it at the beginning design stage. We’ll give our inspiration and our color palette. And then, mid-design, they bring to us what they’re working on, and then we have final approval.” When Jessica is busy with other commitments in Los Angeles, it’s Tina who jets to New York to do the dirty work. “The biggest thing … is we just don’t walk in and put Jessica’s name on something and walk away.”
PRIEST: Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded- Are those pockets with hamburgers in them?
JESSICA: Mmm.. nom.. mfff.. I’m sorry. You were talking foreevvvver. *squeezes ketchup out of bouquet*
Photos: Pacific Coast News
dpbefun | March 30, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Biscuit… here and here. Strips of bacon… here and here. Not only does it look good, it smells awesome!
ThisisnotTigerWoods | March 30, 2011 at 3:26 pm
She’d better make it out of the same material as Pajama Jeans!
random | March 30, 2011 at 3:44 pm
*Hint* It’s a moo moo
Bucky Barnes | March 30, 2011 at 3:45 pm
You mean that’s not a flannel button-down wedding dress she’s wearing in the photo?
My Name Peggy | March 30, 2011 at 3:47 pm
Joe’s concepts involve exhausting amounts breast fondling, and shouts of “Show me your tits!”
Richard McBeef | March 30, 2011 at 3:50 pm
I’m sure it will involve a bib to help keep the wing sauce from staining the rest of the dress.
Rubber | March 30, 2011 at 3:55 pm
This may be the first wedding in recorded history where the bride’s dress and the chocolate fondue fountain are one and the same.
Anonymoose | March 30, 2011 at 4:00 pm
She better use a lot of elastic.
Reg Dunlop | March 30, 2011 at 4:02 pm
I’m thinking there will be a lot of leopard spandex
Zangoora, King of the Gypsies | March 30, 2011 at 4:02 pm
Jessica! Forsake this commoner and run away with me to be married! I, Zangoora, King of the Gypsies will take you away to be my Queen! I will bring to you a magic duck that lays chocolate eggs and savory spare ribs as my dowery! Now pack up that billion dollars into a gunny sack and wait for me by the light of the moon, and tell no one, lest their jealousy lead them to try and sway you from becoming my bride!
Jessica Simpson | March 30, 2011 at 4:08 pm
Will there be winged buffalo and chicken by the sea in this kingdom of yours?
McFeely Smackup | March 30, 2011 at 4:04 pm
“I’m sorry Jessica, but there’s just no fabric that will ‘un-hamburgerify your thighs’ “
Richard McBeef | March 30, 2011 at 5:55 pm
…burlap?
jojo | March 30, 2011 at 4:05 pm
What bride wouldn’t love something that hides nacho cheese stains?
Keith | March 30, 2011 at 4:20 pm
She may have millions, but I still think a guy would be miserable having to stroll around with her every day. Bang that fat cow a few times, sure, but talk to her on a daily basis?
Cock Dr | March 30, 2011 at 4:26 pm
Jess will likely starve & purge herself into a smaller size wedding dress and look damned nice for the day’s photos, but as soon as she’s on the honeymoon she’ll make up for it with interest.
That boy Eric must like his meat, as no amount of dieting will ever slim his light ‘o love’s beefy thighs.
dudeatdudedotdude | March 30, 2011 at 4:38 pm
why bother with a wedding dress the second go round? sure, she looked great when she married lachey, but we also know her commitment is a proven failure. she gona traipse down the isle in white again with a sign saying “this time fer real”?
Cock Dr | March 30, 2011 at 5:54 pm
She wants her dress-up party with flowers & cake.
Emphasis on cake.
Woman’s got the $; let her spread that wealth around.
Lightdragon | March 30, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Now how hard could it be to design a tent for her to wear at her wedding.
KayKay | March 30, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Yes but how will she find a Doritos bag big enough to fit her?
youcandieNOW | March 30, 2011 at 4:57 pm
We can assume the fabric won’t have a color so much as it will have a flavor.
Sexual | March 30, 2011 at 5:17 pm
shes still hot.
Clarence Beeks | March 30, 2011 at 6:54 pm
I will never understand how someone who makes herself look fat in everything she wears can have a billion dollar fashion empire.
I also doubt these 2 will make it to the altar.
Little Richard | March 30, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Couldn’t she save a lot of time by just Googling “white circus tent”?
Mancuso | March 30, 2011 at 9:17 pm
Is it gonna be a scuba wedding dress?
Amominous | March 30, 2011 at 10:05 pm
Designing the dress in “a three-step process” is necessary to take into account the complex engineering that goes into constructing the dress itself. The top half is made of unobtanium to hold up the weight of her breasts, the middle part is made of spandex to accommodate her maddeningly unpredictable girth and the bottom part made of lace to allow for the quick dissipation of her farts
the one | March 30, 2011 at 11:42 pm
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha: AMERICANS REALLY BELIEVE THIS DUMB ASS NOW?
Mary | March 31, 2011 at 12:46 am
Okay question: How do Jessica’s thighs look? Fat? Cellulite? Her face looks chunky but her legs look thin. I guarantee the chicks on here are fatter. I am obsessed with looks (not good I know) and even I can see how small her legs look. Remember she is like 5’2 at the most. We have seen her body look way worse so kudos to Jess and congrats!
Rancid | March 31, 2011 at 8:04 am
Usually broads gain 20 pounds AFTER the wedding.
makramwattoo | July 21, 2011 at 11:42 pm
Jessica is as much beautiful that she seems pretty in every kind of dress and she is so beautiful that she looks so much pretty ,weather she is dressed or not