Jessica Simpson is Designing Her Wedding Dress

March 30th, 2011 // 33 Comments

Despite not even setting a date yet and openly contemplating eloping, Jessica Simpson is personally designing her wedding dress. And by personally designing I mean a team of other people and her mom are doing all the work. People:

“I couldn’t do this without my mom. We have the same eye,” Jessica says. “[She's] been my stylist since I was born.” The two approve every item in the Jessica Simpson line, down to the button. “It’s a three-step process,” Tina explains. “We see it at the beginning design stage. We’ll give our inspiration and our color palette. And then, mid-design, they bring to us what they’re working on, and then we have final approval.” When Jessica is busy with other commitments in Los Angeles, it’s Tina who jets to New York to do the dirty work. “The biggest thing … is we just don’t walk in and put Jessica’s name on something and walk away.”

PRIEST: Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded- Are those pockets with hamburgers in them?
JESSICA: Mmm.. nom.. mfff.. I’m sorry. You were talking foreevvvver. *squeezes ketchup out of bouquet*

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. dpbefun

    Biscuit… here and here. Strips of bacon… here and here. Not only does it look good, it smells awesome!

  2. ThisisnotTigerWoods

    She’d better make it out of the same material as Pajama Jeans!

  3. random

    *Hint* It’s a moo moo

  4. Bucky Barnes

    You mean that’s not a flannel button-down wedding dress she’s wearing in the photo?

  5. My Name Peggy

    Joe’s concepts involve exhausting amounts breast fondling, and shouts of “Show me your tits!”

  6. Richard McBeef

    I’m sure it will involve a bib to help keep the wing sauce from staining the rest of the dress.

  7. This may be the first wedding in recorded history where the bride’s dress and the chocolate fondue fountain are one and the same.

  8. Anonymoose

    She better use a lot of elastic.

  9. Reg Dunlop

    I’m thinking there will be a lot of leopard spandex

  10. Zangoora, King of the Gypsies

    Jessica! Forsake this commoner and run away with me to be married! I, Zangoora, King of the Gypsies will take you away to be my Queen! I will bring to you a magic duck that lays chocolate eggs and savory spare ribs as my dowery! Now pack up that billion dollars into a gunny sack and wait for me by the light of the moon, and tell no one, lest their jealousy lead them to try and sway you from becoming my bride!

  11. “I’m sorry Jessica, but there’s just no fabric that will ‘un-hamburgerify your thighs’ “

  12. jojo

    What bride wouldn’t love something that hides nacho cheese stains?

  13. Keith

    She may have millions, but I still think a guy would be miserable having to stroll around with her every day. Bang that fat cow a few times, sure, but talk to her on a daily basis?

  14. Cock Dr

    Jess will likely starve & purge herself into a smaller size wedding dress and look damned nice for the day’s photos, but as soon as she’s on the honeymoon she’ll make up for it with interest.
    That boy Eric must like his meat, as no amount of dieting will ever slim his light ‘o love’s beefy thighs.

    • why bother with a wedding dress the second go round? sure, she looked great when she married lachey, but we also know her commitment is a proven failure. she gona traipse down the isle in white again with a sign saying “this time fer real”?

      • Cock Dr

        She wants her dress-up party with flowers & cake.
        Emphasis on cake.
        Woman’s got the $; let her spread that wealth around.

  15. Jessica Simpson Wedding Dress
    Honest Abe
    Commented on this photo:

    These pictures make my penis very sad…

  16. Jessica Simpson Wedding Dress
    Honest Abe
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, walking to Subway worked for Jarred!!

  17. Now how hard could it be to design a tent for her to wear at her wedding.

  18. KayKay

    Yes but how will she find a Doritos bag big enough to fit her?

  19. youcandieNOW

    We can assume the fabric won’t have a color so much as it will have a flavor.

  20. Sexual

    shes still hot.

  21. Jessica Simpson Wedding Dress
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Boyfriend looks like Will Ferrell.

  22. Clarence Beeks

    I will never understand how someone who makes herself look fat in everything she wears can have a billion dollar fashion empire.

    I also doubt these 2 will make it to the altar.

  23. Couldn’t she save a lot of time by just Googling “white circus tent”?

  24. Is it gonna be a scuba wedding dress?

  25. Amominous

    Designing the dress in “a three-step process” is necessary to take into account the complex engineering that goes into constructing the dress itself. The top half is made of unobtanium to hold up the weight of her breasts, the middle part is made of spandex to accommodate her maddeningly unpredictable girth and the bottom part made of lace to allow for the quick dissipation of her farts

  26. the one

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha: AMERICANS REALLY BELIEVE THIS DUMB ASS NOW?

  27. Mary

    Okay question: How do Jessica’s thighs look? Fat? Cellulite? Her face looks chunky but her legs look thin. I guarantee the chicks on here are fatter. I am obsessed with looks (not good I know) and even I can see how small her legs look. Remember she is like 5’2 at the most. We have seen her body look way worse so kudos to Jess and congrats!

  28. Rancid

    Usually broads gain 20 pounds AFTER the wedding.

  29. makramwattoo

    Jessica is as much beautiful that she seems pretty in every kind of dress and she is so beautiful that she looks so much pretty ,weather she is dressed or not

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