Jessica Simpson Looks Better Than Usual

April 27th, 2011 // 62 Comments

Jessica Simpson showed up to the Us Weekly Hot Hollywood Event last night looking.. I don’t want to say “hot,” but better than usual. Which probably has a lot to do with her working out with Tracy Anderson and not being fall-down drunk for once. That said, I guarantee if you cut open the side of her dress, it’d be exactly like the movie Flubber. I almost want to take her to a basketball court just to see if she’d start dunking from half-court. “Look at me,” she’d prboably say mid-air, “I’m one of those black guys! *sticks tongue out* I believe I can fly… spread my wings and fart away… Haha! I said fart.”

Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN


  1. Charo got un-old.

  2. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    i think she’s beautiful, so what if she’s got some curves

  3. If she just keeps shrinking, we’ll be able to put her in a bottle like Jeannie and mail it to Colonel Gaddafi.

  4. She’ll go back Big Mac’s, chocolate cream pies and whole cows after the wedding.

  5. Kyle Butler

    Her agent said in a positive tone, “My Client is the Victim of Angles and Weird Shirts”

  6. dramkit

    Miss Piggy on steroids.

  7. Hugh Gentry

    I would let her release my baby batter.

    • horn dog

      Me too! She always looks good, despite packing on lbs. Sure she’s a mess, but I believe what Mayer said.
      And, at least she’s not a tattoo and drug-riddled disease bag like Taylor Momsen aspires to be.

  8. Deacon Jones

    You think her husband closes his eyes during sex and think sof her as Daisy Duke, minus 20 pounds? I guarantee he does

  9. Honest Abe

    I’d really like to see if sex with her is like sexual napalm… chub or not, an oasis of awesomeness waits at the tops of those legs!!

  10. VandaL

    Thems some calfs on her. She can squeeze the life out of my dick with ‘em if she wants. Until I spirt my liquid babies all over her boat race.

  11. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn hot, I like em skinnier but shit she looks good. I do not consider her fat at all and I love how she is wearing less makeup lately

  12. Colin

    You misspelled “Butter” in the post title, Fish.

  13. Wow, weird shirt and bad angle finally pays off for once!

  14. SIN

    Stupid photographer. Can’t see her tits because they are covered up so he needs to take ass shots.

  15. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    Her extensions look cheap, and she looks bloated.

  16. joe dirt


  17. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    She still has no womanly class

  18. David Stockman

    The one last binge and purge cycle before the wedding – followed by a permanent blimpification.

  19. JoeMomma

    Somebody has some serious airbrushing skills!

  20. Richard McBeef

    Needs an upskirt with the back of her thighs prominently featured, that’s where the heaviest damage would be located. well besides everything she packed into the girdle.

  21. J.

    Legs look great but you can totally see the Spanx line under that dress.

  22. i bet she has a tangy asshole…yum.

  23. dpbefun

    I think that is a whisky flask in her right hand.

  24. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    What a great looking fat chick.

  25. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    She is hot!

  26. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    Find out how you can have her or somebody else like her. has an e-book where you can learn how to seduce married women. Isn’t Jessica Simpson married?

  27. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    Amazing legs!!!

  28. Marsellus Wallace

    6 inch knock me down and fuck me heels . Bring her over to my crib and I’ll turn her out for my crew

  29. The Critical Crassness

    Borrowing a fashion trick from the girls of “Jersey Shore”, Jessica Simpson manages to look like she is a clown that weighs less than a ton!

  30. horny pig

    I would give them tits and vag a chris brown ass whooping …

  31. Ponkur

    The dress is doing a lot of the work. Those psychedelic patterns are designed to conceal and confuse, and those blue bits disguise how big her hips are.

    I would still do disgusting things to her though, love me a thick southern belle.

  32. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    scat mayer
    Commented on this photo:

    She has man legs and is thick though the waist.

  33. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Aas Dasd
    Commented on this photo:


  34. Oyin

    I didn’t get the black guy joke….

  35. Parker

    Much as I love to bone a sweet ass, once a girl farts out in the open it’s pretty much over. You never see them with the same eyes again.

  36. Hank

    She has travestite legs, but I’d still hit it

  37. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    MATRONLY! She is getting more square by the day. She shows the leg & wears super high heels to distract from the…squareness.

  38. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    Horrible man face, stumpy legs and fat, yeah real hot, barf.

  39. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    Amazing what a good man can do for a woman..He loves her and she knows it…I love it! CONFIDENCE.

  40. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    THick ass bxtch. I’d pound that beef stump tho

  41. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    You know your thick when Snooki looks thinner than you

  42. Ah, who am I kidding, I’d slam that so hard I’d probably hurt myself.

  43. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    She might be attractive but her clothes do absolutely nothing to flatter her figure. And she needs to cut her hair – she looks like a pin head with those long locks!

  44. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    Its great that she’s confident. She is getting a bit “chunky” by Hollywood’s standards. The future husband should know that this weight gain could be a sign of what’s to come. She’s obviously getting really “comfortable in her own skin.” But those extensions are the worst! And the Jessica Simpson shoe line looks like a bunch of hooker shoes. No class to them, at all.

  45. James

    Just look at those fucking awesome, beefy, thick legs and thighs! Gives me a boner. Delicious. (This is not sarcasm, fyi)

  46. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t understand you guys who like those skinny bag of bone girls. Jessica Simpson is perfect and absolute yummy thickness. Give me a woman with some meat on her bones any day.

  47. Nb34

    I love her she’s beautiful and has always been. She will go back to being thin. And if she doesn’t she will still be a sweetheart. We love you Jess!!!


    She’s wearing a corset. If she’s been working out, it hasn’t been very hard…

  49. Jessica Simpson Hot Hollywood
    Commented on this photo:

    uh oh she forgot to suck in

  50. just here for laughs

    Those have to be the ugliest, most ridiculous shoes I’ve seen in a while, GaGa footwear aside.

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