Because they’re both dating NFL players and I’m lazy, I just copy and pasted the Kim Kardashian post and made a few necessary edits. Journalism!
Kim Kardashian Jessica Simpson is apparently dating Miles Austin Eric Johnson of the Dallas Cowboys 49ers now. I’m going to assume the two met when she held an open audition for boyfriends husbands and he didn’t object to pretending the Kardashians don’t tie a small child to the stake in the yard for Khloe’s dinner Dutch ovens. Hope he likes hearing how great it’d be to have a baby just like Kourtney Ashley every other single word until he eventually gives in or gets a back-alley vasectomy distracts her with ribs. I can’t see this thing going any other way.
Photos: Splash News
first?
did she eat her new man?
What happened to the Billy Corgan thing? Really have to start paying attention more…
Bad News Jessica: your Southern is oozing out of your pores. There’s no fighting it.
ha!
On the plus side are giant tits
On the minus side are low IQ, needy, demented father, farts farts farts!
No thanks!
she is starting to look like the heavy version of Anna Nicole Smith.
i would do anything to date jessica simpson….shes white, beautiful and hasn’t sucked a million black cocks
I wouldnt mind having her suck my black cock LOL
Lol, great edit Fish.
I agree with Drunken Stepfather, her career killer has been that she won’t put the chicken bucket down and lose weight. Lazy.
Who cares about a designer’s nightmare? She has great tits. If you notice, the comments are always the same: “She should put the chicken bucket down, but she has some amazing tits.” Move along, Olive Oil.
Tits aren’t much if you’re a fatass, Alli.
That’s right! Id still love to bury her Nuvaring deeper than it is now…Aint I the romantic…
I disagree.. even if she lost weight, she still won’t have much a career asides from saying dumb shit, being a limelight whore, and looking “hot”. She’s not even attractive/beautiful imo. “Hot” sure, but not beautiful – that requires brain cells.
You’d be surprised at how many guys would still like to see a great pair, regardless if the female was a “fat ass” or not. The girl is thick and could definitely lose a few lbs, but I don’t think she could be put into the fat ass category.
Clothes never look good on her because she is so top heavy but short. A designer’s nightmare.
LOL, I love you Superficial! Thanks for making Tuesday a little more bearable.
you can’t prove that 3rd part of your statement, scandalous! :-)
mmmmmm. . . curvy
God, the neckline of that dress is digging into her fat neck !!
I thought it was a goiter.
Wow, she’s totally S.O.L.
I honestly thought she was something like 38 years old. She’s not even 30 yet?
SHE WILL NOT AGE WELL.
Sexy neck fat. I never liked this chick even when she was thin, but now that she is a fatty, she does give good laughs. It’s smart marketing as well, if you think about it. She probably has millions of fatty fans.
Smokin hott! Look at those hips!
She is not fat, she’sa big-boneded white babe from Texxass
I like a woman who doesn’t look like holocaust survivor (see Christina Hendricks), but there’s something off about Jessica.
Puddy Hott a’n Temptin’
I agree with RatsAss. This poor girl is not aging well. I AM 38 and I said to myself her skin looks like mine. Oh, except for the neck fat. I can say I don’t have that. This girl needs to take care of herself. Isn’t she a PROACTIV spokes person as well?
Idk if it’s how she’s dressing or what, but she does not look good. I would be at the gym STAT if i was her and saw these pics…
I bet he never saw this dumb “FAT ASS” naked!!
Jessica should avoid closeups, she looks grotesque. Surgery city.
I guess she wants to mess of every teams chances of winning a Superbowl!!!
Honest to God, I scrolled down and thought there was a picture of Miss Piggy posted. I can’t even tell the difference.
Eric Johnson is not in the NFL anymore.
I really fail to see what people see in her.
Wow, looks like that Proactiv is really working for her!
jessica simpson is not fat. that is all.
id still hit that.
Two words: Sexual Napalm
umm, eric johnson doesnt play for the 49ers… get ur info right
Imagine spraying her in the face with those innocent, doe eyes looking up at you…
Hi jessica what problem ? U want me
Come with in the *****
Hehe
Hahahahaha baby u want my body or pains
LOL!
that’s one of the most unflattering pictures you can take