Jessica Simpson Has a New Man

Because they’re both dating NFL players and I’m lazy, I just copy and pasted the Kim Kardashian post and made a few necessary edits. Journalism!

Kim Kardashian Jessica Simpson is apparently dating Miles Austin Eric Johnson of the Dallas Cowboys 49ers now. I’m going to assume the two met when she held an open audition for boyfriends husbands and he didn’t object to pretending the Kardashians don’t tie a small child to the stake in the yard for Khloe’s dinner Dutch ovens. Hope he likes hearing how great it’d be to have a baby just like Kourtney Ashley every other single word until he eventually gives in or gets a back-alley vasectomy distracts her with ribs. I can’t see this thing going any other way.


Photos: Splash News