Because they’re both dating NFL players and I’m lazy, I just copy and pasted the Kim Kardashian post and made a few necessary edits. Journalism!
Kim Kardashian Jessica Simpson is apparently dating Miles Austin Eric Johnson of the Dallas Cowboys 49ers now. I’m going to assume the two met when she held an open audition for boyfriends husbands and he didn’t object to pretending the Kardashians don’t tie a small child to the stake in the yard for Khloe’s dinner Dutch ovens. Hope he likes hearing how great it’d be to have a baby just like Kourtney Ashley every other single word until he eventually gives in or gets a back-alley vasectomy distracts her with ribs. I can’t see this thing going any other way.
Photos: Splash News
nate | July 6, 2010 at 9:44 am
first?
Liv | July 6, 2010 at 9:47 am
What happened to the Billy Corgan thing? Really have to start paying attention more…
bob | July 6, 2010 at 9:48 am
ha!
# | July 6, 2010 at 9:55 am
On the plus side are giant tits
On the minus side are low IQ, needy, demented father, farts farts farts!
No thanks!
nikky | July 6, 2010 at 9:56 am
she is starting to look like the heavy version of Anna Nicole Smith.
scandalous | July 6, 2010 at 9:57 am
i would do anything to date jessica simpson….shes white, beautiful and hasn’t sucked a million black cocks
Deano | July 6, 2010 at 12:47 pm
I wouldnt mind having her suck my black cock LOL
Some Girl | July 6, 2010 at 10:04 am
Lol, great edit Fish.
I agree with Drunken Stepfather, her career killer has been that she won’t put the chicken bucket down and lose weight. Lazy.
Alli Watermelon | July 6, 2010 at 10:53 am
Who cares about a designer’s nightmare? She has great tits. If you notice, the comments are always the same: “She should put the chicken bucket down, but she has some amazing tits.” Move along, Olive Oil.
Some Girl | July 6, 2010 at 11:27 am
Tits aren’t much if you’re a fatass, Alli.
Rough&Things | July 6, 2010 at 3:03 pm
That’s right! Id still love to bury her Nuvaring deeper than it is now…Aint I the romantic…
Keke | July 6, 2010 at 12:45 pm
I disagree.. even if she lost weight, she still won’t have much a career asides from saying dumb shit, being a limelight whore, and looking “hot”. She’s not even attractive/beautiful imo. “Hot” sure, but not beautiful – that requires brain cells.
Alli Watermelon | July 6, 2010 at 11:13 pm
You’d be surprised at how many guys would still like to see a great pair, regardless if the female was a “fat ass” or not. The girl is thick and could definitely lose a few lbs, but I don’t think she could be put into the fat ass category.
Some Girl | July 6, 2010 at 10:06 am
Clothes never look good on her because she is so top heavy but short. A designer’s nightmare.
Beck | July 6, 2010 at 10:28 am
LOL, I love you Superficial! Thanks for making Tuesday a little more bearable.
Photoshop Police | July 6, 2010 at 10:38 am
you can’t prove that 3rd part of your statement, scandalous! :-)
timmy the dying boy | July 6, 2010 at 10:40 am
mmmmmm. . . curvy
kelley | July 6, 2010 at 10:40 am
God, the neckline of that dress is digging into her fat neck !!
Do_Freebird | July 6, 2010 at 10:52 am
I thought it was a goiter.
RatsAss | July 6, 2010 at 11:02 am
Wow, she’s totally S.O.L.
I honestly thought she was something like 38 years old. She’s not even 30 yet?
SHE WILL NOT AGE WELL.
Bert | July 6, 2010 at 11:18 am
Sexy neck fat. I never liked this chick even when she was thin, but now that she is a fatty, she does give good laughs. It’s smart marketing as well, if you think about it. She probably has millions of fatty fans.
Gone Fishn | July 6, 2010 at 11:29 am
Puddy Hott a’n Temptin’
Irene Barcelo | July 6, 2010 at 11:33 am
I agree with RatsAss. This poor girl is not aging well. I AM 38 and I said to myself her skin looks like mine. Oh, except for the neck fat. I can say I don’t have that. This girl needs to take care of herself. Isn’t she a PROACTIV spokes person as well?
Jen | July 6, 2010 at 11:47 am
Idk if it’s how she’s dressing or what, but she does not look good. I would be at the gym STAT if i was her and saw these pics…
captain america | July 6, 2010 at 11:58 am
I bet he never saw this dumb “FAT ASS” naked!!
joho777 | July 6, 2010 at 12:06 pm
Jessica should avoid closeups, she looks grotesque. Surgery city.
Steelerchick | July 6, 2010 at 12:19 pm
I guess she wants to mess of every teams chances of winning a Superbowl!!!
Doof | July 6, 2010 at 2:01 pm
Honest to God, I scrolled down and thought there was a picture of Miss Piggy posted. I can’t even tell the difference.
Gary B | July 6, 2010 at 4:45 pm
I really fail to see what people see in her.
lauren | July 6, 2010 at 8:24 pm
Wow, looks like that Proactiv is really working for her!
umm. | July 6, 2010 at 11:27 pm
umm, eric johnson doesnt play for the 49ers… get ur info right
Kaz | July 7, 2010 at 3:50 am
Hi jessica what problem ? U want me
Kaz | July 7, 2010 at 3:51 am
Come with in the *****
Kaz | July 7, 2010 at 3:52 am
Hehe
Slig | July 7, 2010 at 4:25 am
Hahahahaha baby u want my body or pains
Nik | November 15, 2010 at 12:06 pm
LOL!
that’s one of the most unflattering pictures you can take