Because that Hilary Duff post went over awesome, here’s Jessica Simpson leaving the gym yesterday and pretending to doing her best to honor her $3 million deal with Weight Watchers even though she’s telling friends she wants to be pregnant forever and has openly admitted to already having sex with Eric Johnson not even three weeks after giving birth. Which, on top of being gross, is really unhealthy, but more importantly, gross. Also, for those of you who don’t know, yes, you absolutely can get pregnant again that soon, so there’s no way Jessica Simpson didn’t clear out the delivery room after learning that little nugget. “Wait. Y’all are serious’? Eric, honey, hand me the gun in mah purse, won’t you? ALRIGHT, EVERYBODY OUT! Not you, sexy man…”
Photos: Pacific Coast News
Photoboy has been spending too much time at ‘The People of Walmart’.
And contrary to what he says, having hot anal sex with a woman who just gave birth isn’t gross. In fact, it’s not only the nicest thing you can do for a pregnant woman, it’s also the most beautiful, natural thing in the world next to having hot anal sex with a woman who never had a rugrat crawl out of her snatch.
Win.
I wish Jess all the luck in the world with that diet.
She’s gonna need it.
Well, you have to give her credit for not immediately going and having surgery done (cough cough MARIAH CAREY). I feel bad for the long road she has ahead, but I give her major respect for doing it the hard way, not the rich way.
Plus, let’s not forget, it’s only been 3 weeks. And it takes a while for chili cheese fries to fully digest.
She was fat before she got pregnant and almost killed her baby with all the junk food she ate during the pregnancy. This woman needs to stop stuffing her god damn face with crap and drink some kale fruit smoothies.
It’s not unhealthy to have sex right after giving birth!! Ever heard of Irish Twins? You’re most fertile during a short time right after. If she wants to be a perma-pregnoid, it’s smart to just keep getting busy after each one. Yes, I just called something she did “smart”. I will never forgive myself….
i’m guessing you’ve never had a baby.
that is unhealthy why do you think doctors tell you wait six weeks to have sexual intercourse. Your body needs time to heal. it is also very gross.
Why do you prude American freaks keep calling it “gross”? Are you retarded? Why is it gross? Her pussy isn’t going to regain elasticity? There is no more baby fluid and shit in there?
She was already flabby, why is some extra stomach flab so repulsive when you all look that way anyways?
well, based upon what comes out of one’s vage for at least 6 weeks after having a baby, i’d say it’s gross. but hey, if you like blood clots and chunks of cervical mucus all over your cock, go right ahead buddy!
you are amazing foop.. Stupid American prudes ba ha ha
Yes, cause everyone listens to doctors all the time. No one’s denying that it’s gross and I can’t imagine even being in the mood to but you’re not her. Maybe she’s a fast healer. Or maybe she’s lying. In any case, it’s not going to kill you. People do it.
She didn’t give birth vaginally, fools. She got a c-section. Your vagina isn’t harmed by that.
She had a c-section. She’s not supposed to have sex so the incision in her abdomen/uterus can heal, not because her vagina is gross. God, some people are so dumb.
And one more thing…assuming she had given birth vaginally, there is a probability the doctor would have performed an episiotomy, in which case fucking might rip the stitches leaving her with a vaginal canal with the circumference of a jai alai court.
I wash her wall
Is that code?
Yeah, it’s code for potatoe
Awesomeness.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha…way to go, Fletch. Well played indeed!
It’s vowel humor. I’ll allow it.
Do you do windows?
I try to be kind to women who’ve just given birth, but…damn.
So this blogger is an OB/GYN now?
He prefers to be thought of as “OB-GYNobi.”
Comment of the week material!
That’s not happening. What would be the accompanying photo?
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/13/Doogie_Howser_MD_290x400-290_400.jpg[/img]
those pants are not made to be worn by people of that size.
“mmmMMM, you’re delicious Jessica”
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/13/spaceballs_large_04-340_257.jpg[/img]
After she had sex with Bam, it’s like she just gave up on herself. Wait, I think it all makes sense now…
My sister thinks Jessica Simpson is her celebrity look-alike and seeing this picture has me starting to agree.
I personally thought my sister looked more like Beth from Dog The Bounty Hunter…but after seeing these pictures I can now see the resemblance between all three.
Beth is just Louie Anderson in an Elly May Clampett wig. It’s possible you need a little chlorine in your gene pool.
i feel sorry for your sister
I am pretty certain Eric Johnson is just a place holder for Jessica’s true soul mate, Gary Shirley.
I wish I could like this comment more than once :(
One of the dangers of pregnancy is your wife will find out that she likes to eat and you will lose that slim girl you married forever.
Except it didn’t take pregnancy for Jessica Simpson to find out she likes to eat, so I don’t know how this is relevant here.
She’s working out with Harley Pasternak down the street from my house. If she sticks with her workout, the weight is going to come off.
Are we certain Eric Johnson was conscious when they had sex? A recently pregnant Jessica Simpson boob could easily smother a man, let alone a baby.
that black outfit is so slimming.
Standing beside a black SUV probably helps.
Is the suv on the left or the right?
Seriously, who couldn’t see this coming?
She’ll be a wide load for the rest of her baby making life.
Either:
A: There’s a long, Rock Road to in front of this Chunk Monkey on her quest for thinness or,
B: She’ll grab a pack of Oreos and her man while jumping in bed to enjoy some Cookies n Cream
Please disregard the previous comment. Hook’ed awn f-f-foniks
Forget Weight Watchers. There’s a better endorsement deal waiting for her out there if she would just paint “GOOD YEAR” on the sides of all her clothes.
Eric Johnson could find himself in a position to make a lot of money this year.
Jessica Simpson has made such a big deal about being the Weight Watchers spokesperson, the only way she’ll be able to save face when she fails to lose weight, is to say she had to quit because she is pregnant again.
Then Eric Johnson will be able to name his price on his reproductive material.
“But I am watching my weight, y’all. See here, I wrote it down on this here McDonald’s wrapper. Nobody told me it was s’posed to go down. Now Fetch me one of those low-fat fish legs from KFC, Eric, ’cause I’m get horny.”
Geez, let’s give her a break. Maybe it’s not the healthiest amount to gain during a pregnancy but she’s not the first, first time mom to gain that much weight. So she actually ENJOYED being pregnant (unlike many who HATE having the forced extra eating) and maybe free for a while from worrying about the now unrealistic standards set by celebs for pregnancy weight gain and especially post delivery. If she does it naturally and healthy it will take TIME. As long as her baby is healthy and loved and she is healthy and committed to getting healthier (not a number on the scale) and being a good mom…why judge? I wish her the best and hope she truly enjoys the experience of being a first time independent of what anyone says about her.
so she should be healthy losing the weight but not healthy gaining it? you should consume 300 extra calories a day pregnant, not 3,000.
I judge because it makes me feel better about myself.
Mmmm…ripply.
What a water buffalo. Dude is going to bail on her very, very shortly. If there is one thing chicks should know, is guys will not, marry, stay with a fat chick. I don’t care if she was slim when they meet, or how much they get along. Fat chicks are a huge turn off. I give these two 6 months before he bails.
Spoken like some fug man who probably never gets laid because he has unrealistic ideas of what kind of woman he’s entitled to. Plenty of men stay with their wives after they gain some weight. Also, plenty of men gain weight after marriage and they don’t have to bear children, so what’s their excuse?
Warchild, you’ve worked on this theory during all of your vast experience and studies in medical-psychological-spiritual matters? Hello was giving you the benefit of the doubt when she called you a fug “man”. You sound to me like a boy with the I.Q. of overcooked oatmeal.
I am just imagining the sounds of the springs and shocks creaking, popping and snapping when she gets inside that vehicle.
I swore you were going to say….when she and her fiance crawl into bed together. Fuck….the image. My mind’s eye!!!!
So there will be the usual comments about weight from the usual 12 year olds here….but “dudes”….try having a kid. Some women get big. Whatever.
Jessica , there ain’t no going back for you .This is your new reality .
Get used to size 16.No more Daisy Dukes for you unless you want otherworldly stares and gasps
Them thighs are now slappin together . No gap to mind any more . Cooch is now buried in rolls of skin and fat . You better find a fatty chaser !
I know I’m late to the party, but did she really name her son Max Johnson?
So close. She named her daughter Maxwell Johnson. Yes. That’s right. Daughter “Maxwell.”
But don’t worry—they’ll be calling her “Maxi” for short, because that’s not fraught with any problems.
Assholes. What the fuck is wrong with celebrities?
You think? Really? I sort of like the name Maxi. Of course I’m the guy who wanted to name his twin sons Buffalo Chip and Hawkeye.
Doctors advsing patients not to exercise or lift anything more than 10 lbs for six weeks after ceasarian deliveries should be taken seriously, it can lead to serious medical complications and permanent separation of the abdominal muscles. So no one should be feeling the contractual pressure from a weight loss company or that of the media to shape up so soon after delivery.
It’s ok…she wasn’t disobeying doctor’s orders. She was only pretending to exercise at the gym to fool Weight Watchers. That giant purse she’s carrying doubles as a feedbag that she wears around her neck, so she can gorge herself on the deep fried hog parts she carries in it while she watches other people exercise at the gym.
Well so what? She was pregnant and gained weight….that’s what’s supposed to happen!
Yeah, no shit! This post has really brought out all of the assholes today. It might be interesting to find out how many of the naysayers have either been through a pregnancy of their own or of their spouse. Fucking dumbells!
They say it’s baby weight, but dang how many babies did she have. A dozen.
Dear people, you should only gain about 30lbs when pregnant. She gained 80lbs. It’s not baby weight or hormones, it’s called eating like a whale with a t-rex as a parasitic twin.
SO FUCKING WHAT?!?!
She gained the weight. It’s a done deal. Now all she can do is her best to get back to fightin’ weight. And you know what else?…that’s all on the outside. Internally I’m sure she’s still a doll.
Sounds like somebody has a fat wife
only 80?!
It’s not that having sex so soon after giving birth is gross, it’s that she had a c-section and it is DANGEROUS! You hav to give the stitches time to heal and dissolve. She could get really hurt and possibly contract an infection doing that. As for the weight, give her a break. Seriously, it’s been three weeks, people!
Technically, one should wait a year before getting pregnant after having a CS. You need to wait for the stitches to heal inside and outside.
Take it easy on her, she has a serious medical condition called CamelToeoftheButt.
seriously , she just had a baby LAST MONTH, leave her alone. Shes human not a victoria secret supermodel
lots of women have babies without doubling in size.
To give Jessica Simpson the benefit of the doubt, yes, she did gain more weight than she probably should have during pregnancy, but so what. What’s done is done. She may not be lifting weights or working out hard at the gym, she could just be starting to walk and do light workouts. Good for her for having some kind of encouragement to start moving.
1. She just gave birth. Not everyone has metabolism made out of hollywood Kryptonite. She, like many women… has struggled with weight since her early teens. Give the girl a break.
2. I had sex 6 days after having my first child… and around 2-3 weeks after having the others. I had my children vaginally- with no cutting or stitches. I come home and I’m back to new. There is nothing gross by that. I can understand if you have stitches or you are bleeding, etc. But not everyone does. Stop judging when you just don’t know.
I think she ate her baby judging by the size of her.
Well everyone already knew she wasnt too bright with that chicken of the sea comment. So having sex that soon after her doctor ordered her not to speaks volumes. Some women continue eating like they did after their pregnancy which is why they never regain their youthful figure. She knew the max weight she should have gained but went against that advice as well. Shes going to have a hard road ahead losing all that weight.
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO CRUEL I KNOW SHE WILL BE BACK TO HER SIZE….. GIVE HER A BREAK WE ALL GAIN WEIGHT WHEN PREGNANT I GAINED 80 POUNDS AND I NOW WEIGH 125 LBS, GUESS WHAT???? I DID MY WAY LIKE OLD BLUE EYES……