Here’s Jessica Simpson making me wonder how she hasn’t remarried sooner by stumbling shit-faced out of Katsuya last night which has to be a joy and a delight for Eric Johnson. Then again, do giant breasts compensate for the stench of booze and digested sushi wafting out of a face that makes you wonder if you’ve been molesting a retarded person the entire time? I like to believe yes, but only because I fancy myself something of a futurist.
Photos: Pacific Coast News
nice thread – i came in my own mouth
Starting off strong on this one
Jessica Simpson doesn’t have a drinking problem. More like a eating problem. That is one fat bitch.
I was just gonna say. Bitch been putting the feedbag on OVERTIME!
got the whole Kristi Alley thing going on there.
A few of bony homo’s teammates said the reason he dumped her was that she is a sloppy drunk who embarrassed him repeatedly. Now it’s out in the open…time to reign it in, Jess…
Hell I’ll take her. Drunk chicks rock. And because she’s eating more, those titties must be enormous.
I want you Jessica Simpson, so bad…
AHHHH she looks like big foot, or do I imagine Jessica Simpson when I think of big foot? Wtv, DOPPELGANGER!
Someone got some butt sex last night
i wish i could suck on her drunken asshole…
Anyone checked out this month’s issue of renowned magazine “The science of vodka”? They have a full explanation as of why the left eye always takes a dive first, when you’re sloshed. Fascinating reading, it really opens my own eyes…
didn’t see that article- all i read was something boring about how they make vodka. please link.
Lets call this hoe Mrs. Roper because everytime you see her, she is in a muumuu.
You know most people in here have no idea what you are talking about.
But some do … :)
3′s company was a great show. i’ve still got a woody for Janet…
oh Stanley
Im dating myself. OR my tastes. And seriously, everyone hasnt seen Three’s Company?
Seen it? Chrissy once gave me a handie under a table at the Regal Beagle! I was the extra with the brown leisure suit with brown ankle-high boots.
These are photos of her leaving her outpatient lobotomy, you insensitive clods.
She’s already had one of those … zero brains in her head to begin with !
Lol..look at her eye, it looks like it’s about to slide out.
Hey, I thought Anna Nicole was dead! Who knew?
Oh well, alcohol problem, that does explain why she ballooned so quickly and never got it off.
I agree. I think if she was in a good place emotionally she’d be skinny by now. Poor Jess :(
It’s Britney Spears in 10 years time!!!
wtf isn’t she pregnant??
Dude.
She’s had more than some saki at this place. She’s on some kind of prescribed psychotropic and is mixing with booze = whacked.
“Trust me, I’m a professional”
What a hot mess. I’d still hit that.
I’d hit that iwith a baseball bat.
The Taco Bell is about ready to make a second appearance.
awesome
I agree. Jessica Simpson doesn’t have a drinking problem.
She drinks. She falls down. No problem.
She stole the table cloth
“I’m gonnn complain next time we’re in there . I donnn think they cooked that fish enough. They wonnn get away with that again . I’m Jezzica Simpson, godddammit . I demand rezpect! “
So the above post should read…
“I’m gonnn complain next time we’re in there (*fart*) . I donnn think they cooked that fish enough (*burp*). They wonnn get away with that again (*cough*) . I’m Jezzica Simpson, godddammit! (*queef*) I demand rezpect! (*smell of piss*) “
Hahahahaha! Awesome stuff. Literally have tears of laughter right now. “Queef”.
I see the reverse liposuction was uncomfortable.
The only problem she has is horrible style…and addiction to fried foods.
Drinking problem or not, it is time to tackle her “Waffle House” problem.
wow, I remember when Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson were the two hottest chicks on the planet and guys used to wonder which one they wanted to bang MORE. It ended up their sexiness had the same shelf life as that sushi you buy in the supermarket!
Jess went from These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ to This Booty Is Made For Storing Lard.
[throws rotten tomatoes at Clint]
she’s still smokin hot
Someone needs to tell this Johnson his “Meal Ticket” is going to eat and drink the entire meal by herself.
I like my goddesses good & drunk. They’re more accesible that way.
Her BF had a super night I’m sure; unloading her from the vehicle (difficult for the strongest among us), standing by the bathroom while she prayed at the porcelain alter & then later cleaning up the pee soaked bedsheets.
I think he shoved her drunk ass into her closet on top of a heap of discarded potato sack dresses and spanx. He then proceeded to get a litte titty fuck and cleaned her off like a gentleman before rolling her over on her stomach so she wouldn’t choke on her own vomit. The next morning when the smell of her own breath woke her, he was standing over her asking for her black amex card. Second time this week this scenario went down, and it’s just Tuesday, dammit.
Same smell too mama…
A drinking problem? Or a sausage problem?
Jeesh, when is she going to pull herself together? She divorced Nick Lachey, not Johnny Depp.
She is NOT FAT. She is much heavier than she used to be, but to call her FAT is ridiculous. Now, I will agree that she makes herself look fat in everything she wears…….so the fact that she has a multi-million dollar fashion empire is just mind boggling to me. Who buys her clothes/shoes?
It’s as bad as Britney having perfumes- who the hell wants to smell like Britney? She looks like she smells of cigarettes, feet and cheetos.
I feel a bit sorry for her, yeah, she’s a bit of a dimwit and all that, but doesn’t strike me a bad person. She has a problem – why aren’t family and friends doing something??? Intervention time people.
Yeah, why can’t they be there for her like Michael and Dina Lohan?
We are SO cuter than Nick and Vanessa.
what the fuck is she wearing? looks like my curtains.
oh and Travis Barker is not a singer
I’d hit that twice a day, and 3 times on Sundays. Wth, she’s got a bajillion dollars, dumb as a rock, she’d be the perfect wife! You could probably get away with banging hookers right in front of her, and she’d believe you when you tell her it’s just the cleaning lady and you’re helping with the housework. yeah baby, let me hold the checkbook for a while, i’ll bring you back some KFC. and if she ever left you, well who cares, she was fat anyway.
If she were my wife she’d need all that money to invest in Gator aid and energy drinks. Because as soon as we’d hit the bed, we ain’t never leaving the room. We’d just be caving in the walls every day. We’d explore every position imaginable including personal favorites like Reverse Cowgirl while twirling around on to the sealing fan.
And I’d destroy Pam Anderson and Shania Twain’s ass even worse than that.
Britney actually looks pretty good!
I think we’re being a bit judgemental of the picture here folks….maybe that’s her “bad side”.
Hope their car was equipped with barf bags….and air freshener…
She still fucks better than your mom fucks sober.
Well, not since the funnel was invented.
We’ve all been there. It’s a yucky feeling.
But hey, she didn’t fall down & she ain’t driving. Tent dress aside her legs look fantastic.
WTF good is it to be rich, relatively young & attractive if you can’t go out & get trashed at a hot nightspot with your ex-NFL beefy BF by your side to carry you home?
Who let the dogs out?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCU-4y6Um88
Lol, listen to that song whilst looking at this photo. Pure gold.
just think. he’ll be puttin’ it in her butt tonight and she won’t remember a thing.
a thing, i tell you.
She does hae drinking problem, she has a staying sober problem. I hope she doesn’t shave her pussy.
So true, blonde colored vagina rules. I’d like to get a hairball while deep jungle exploring in that.
Nice thighs!