Jessica Simpson. Daisy Dukes. Big Ass Gun.

October 8th, 2010 // 87 Comments

As some of you might already know, Jessica Simpson entertained troops aboard the USS Harry S. Truman in the Arabian Sea over the weekend, and reader Allison just brought this photo to my attention that genuinely reminded me how America kicks ass sometimes. Namely by letting a large-breasted woman in short shorts operate heavy weaponry to raise troop morale. Suck it, evildoers.

Dedicated to our brave men and women in uniform. (Miss you, bro.)

Photo: Tyler Caswell/US Navy

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  1. fester

    Oh great, now she’s firing from both ends.

  2. xanax in my beer

    Hey she’s not fat. I thought she was fat. Why is she not fat?

  3. Ceannrua

    Thank your bro for his service.

  4. jumpin_j

    CORRECTED HEADLINE:
    Jessica Simpson, Daisy Dukes and a Big Ass. Gun

    I’ll accept my Pulitzer now.

  5. Feisty

    FUCK shes HOT!!

  6. If I ever said or posted anything bad about Ms. Simpson in the past, let me apologize right now. Bless her heart for doing those USO shows.
    That’s a 50 caliber machine gun. Come on pirates, ya want some?

  7. Ash Bones

    I have some bullets she can fire off for me….

  8. Glenn Beck

    Haha your bro is a dumbfuck and hes gonna die for no reason

    or maybe just come back with no legs, that would be awesome

    isnt that shit funny?? HAHAHA! im like a funny writer for this blog

    • guy rossi

      It’s scary that the real Glenn beck is dumber than this asshat

      • peasant

        Glenn Beck is a demented wierdo. A tool. Supporting the troops doesn’t make anyone a good person. Why not support teachers or doctors who volunteer their spare time or those who build and maintain our nation’s infrastructure?
        I believe our military is sucking our economy dry and yet we keep losing jobs. I believe 95,000 more last month.
        I respect our soldiers, but noone is protecting me and I can take care of myself. There are no terrorists or liberals or hippies or commies or domestic extremists or witches or orcs that I fear. Only pawns.

    • Km

      The real glen beck supports the troops, you ignorant fucksickle

      • Km

        Should pick a hippy liberal if u want to make that kind of comment

      • peasant

        He supports the troops? Wow! What an amazing man. Like none of us do as well? I would love for all of our boys to be back home where it is safe with their loved ones, not over there confronting the ones that hate them and want to hurt them. Glenn Beck is happy to pay lip service to those that could care less about them individually, but would rather keep them there indefinately collectively.
        As for you Km, why don’t you go over there since you think war is all about valor and nothing about suffering, you filthy worthless common mental wart.

      • u r gay

        peasant, can’t understand you. Take Obama’s dick out of your mouth before you start your leftist rant. No, I meant take Obama’s dick out of your ass so you can shit out your 76 IQ worth of opinion. You’re not a pawn, just a useful idiot.

      • People sign up for many reasons. Mine was from seeing rambo too many times. But a shitload of em just cant get any other work. Dont blame the soldier for the war. Take it out at the ballot box.

  9. Dan

    Damn, she looks good!

    • peasant

      Firstly let me educate you. I am not a leftist or rightist nor do a subscribe to either of your little “party’s” ideologies, lemming. You are clueless, like most people. I don’t think you have an inkling of what our fate is going to be do you?
      We are being blindly led into a globalist government and I am not sure if that is going to benefit the greater part of humanity. But I digress. Actually, never mind. I would rather talk to my dog, at least she tries to pay attention.
      Now go wave a pretty flag and turn on your propagana channel.

      • mes

        I am sorry peasant…when did you wake up and first discover that we were being ‘blindly’ lead into a global government…have you been out to lunch this whole time, while Obama has been wanting to guide the U.S. into that direction…I think more people then you can imagine are more aware of this situation…Only the blind supporters of Pres Obama are in the clueless and no inkling state…Anyway, go have a conversation with your dog…but you best listen to the dog…it probably knows more then you….Have a good day…Oh, I am not being lead anywhere, I am not blind I have had my eyes and ears open since the first day of his social regime…

  10. Jessica Simpson Visits the Troops
    Douglas Morrison
    Commented on this photo:

    “… Genuinely reminded me how America kicks ass sometimes”. Seriously, you can make funny comments against anyone wanting fame all day long. However, when you do your best First Lady Obama impersonation, finally proud to be an American you will have issues. America always is the best! You should issue a retraction and apology immediately.

  11. Rick

    Great. Some stumpy legs and everything else covered up. Hubba-hubba.

  12. Mensa Material

    She mad dupid yo!

  13. anticon

    nice one fish, miss my bro too

  14. Jessica Simpson Visits the Troops
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    What a great photo. How I would love to have that gun mounted in a turret on top of our house. The squirrels would never bother the birdfeeder again.
    Now, where can I get a pair of suede army green boots with 4 inch spike heels like that?
    For veterans day, of course.

  15. Binky

    Test. Test 1..2…

  16. Binky

    So…
    http://maxkeiser.com/
    http://www.veteranstoday.com/
    Research these and then go with it ….America…. etc…
    Let me know who wins….

    Just kidding. 9/11 was inside job. We’ll win.

  17. welldoneson

    Well it’s one, two, three, what are we fightin’ for?
    To see Jessica’s sweet tits and ass
    So fine we bang our heads on the glass

    And it’s five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates
    cause there ain’t no time to wonder why
    Jihadis are all gonna die!

  18. The Man

    I would let her direct my thick gun between her legs and fire for an instant cream pie!

    • Anonymous

      ARE YOUB CERTAIN IT’S THICK? MOSTVMEN THAT SAY THAT…USUALLY EMBELLISH THE STORY, I HAVE SEEN IN IN PERSON ONE TOO MANY TIMES. DONT LIE

  19. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    Jessica Simpson. Daisy Dukes. Big Ass. Period.

  20. Jessica Simpson Visits the Troops
    Jon H
    Commented on this photo:

    Your tax dollars at work. .50 caliber rounds ain’t cheap.

    • friendlystoner

      considering the US military accounts for half the worlds militray spending i doubt it`ll make much difference for daisy to fire off a few .50 cal rounds, especially as the bulk buy unit price the US military will be getting will be tiny. if it improves moral (even if its just on that ship) then you could say its worth every penny.

  21. Binky

    Cliff Notes : Well although we could been a bit off topic here. Looks like this one could have been an inside job Bink.
    .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoAD8HlrLZg

  22. Binky

    Binky: Well Cliff – I was actually having a few problems with that “free fall collapse speed through undamaged steel structure thing”

    Cliff Notes : Oh..

    Wow – thia sit5e is wso wlamee

  23. LittleCupcakes

    She ain’t skinny, and ain’t smart, and she is a little goofy…..

    Instant Marriage.

  24. Kurt C

    The placement of a comma makes all the difference in the world…..
    Jessica Simpson, Daisy Dukes, Big Ass, Gun.

  25. Ash Bones

    Real Daisy Dukes were awesome around 1993, ass cleavage everywhere.

  26. Rhialto

    You’re surrounded! Deliver us the girl!

  27. Tits or gtfo.

  28. Jessica Simpson Visits the Troops
    pooter
    Commented on this photo:

    wouldn’t it be funny if a hot one went down her boot

  29. captain america

    ……….let’s cal “New York Life” first.

  30. cc

    Given a choice beteen the two, I’d take the Ma Deuce.

  31. Lerxt

    I think Sarah Palin creamed her pants…

  32. mommypogz

    so love jessica..

  33. Jessica Simpson Visits the Troops
    Christine O'Donnell
    Commented on this photo:

    I am not a witch!

  34. blerg

    she’s lost a ton of weight recently… sadly she’ll probably just gain it back in the next few months like always

  35. Jessica Simpson Visits the Troops
    Yuneil
    Commented on this photo:

    tice nits as always

  36. Jessica Simpson Visits the Troops
    nasty_mike
    Commented on this photo:

    @Douglas – “America is always the best”? China owns you, you’re pouring billions into unwinnable wars, Obama’s a disappointment and the idiotic Tea Party is on the rise. You have some strange concept of ‘best’ there. In contect, Jessica Simpson operating heavy weaponry IS kick-arse.

    • KIng Dong Jim

      mike…sshhhh…don’t confuse the flag waving American with basic facts that his country it literally owned by China, most of them don’t know how much there dollar debt to China is..best not to scare them…

  37. Martin

    She always lose weight while she is looking for a man. After she get serious then she goes back to gaining weight like a fat pig.

  38. Anonymous

    WTF IS GOING ON HERE?

    I LOVE HER BOOTS BUT NO WAY IN HELL I WOULD WEAR THEM ON THAT SHIP, SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS FCKIN STUPID.

    I CAN NOTVGIVE HER ANY MORE CHANCES, BETWEEN HER LAME PICS OF HER LOSER BF, AND HER CONSTANTLY TWITTERING ABOUT HER FARTS TOO.

    I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE, NO M ORE DEFENDING HER.

    SHE REALLY IS STUPID, I DONT GIVE A RAT’S ASS HOW NICE SHE IS, SHE IS ANNOYING. I WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF JUST LOOKING AT THIS PIC…

    GEEZ!!

  39. s

    She actually doesn’t look too bad here. She is still no where near the size of Christina Hendricks.

  40. Master Baiter

    You had me at “Big Ass.”

  41. Burt

    If only she were in a string bikini.

  42. Jessica Simpson Visits the Troops
    Franksinatrastein
    Commented on this photo:

    Daisy Dukes and a Ma Deuce, with high-heeled boots thrown in for kicks.

    Jessica’s stock just went WAY up in my portfolio…

  43. greg

    You forgot the comma between ass and gun in the headline.

  44. Brad Moreland

    Ladies and gentlemen, here’s your tax dollars at work. All you Republicans bitch about Obama stealing your hard-earned (yeah, right) money…well, this is where it’s going.

  45. Jessica Simpson Visits the Troops
    Kyle J.
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a .50 cal.

    Anyway, Jessica Simpson can play with and shoot off my “Big Ass Gun” any day. -PFC Johnson, CTARNG

  46. GORGON

    Jess has pancake ass as well as bein a dumbass…
    she says her flatulence is from being lactose-intolerant. If she knows this, why don’t she lay off the dairy? Or take lact-aid instead of always stinkin up the joint…it ain’t cute no more at age 30…

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  48. Jessica Simpson Visits the Troops
    Willy Wonka
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d be more impressed if she was able to deep throat the barrel…

  49. Willy Wonka

    I’d be more impressed if she deep throated the thing…

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