Granted we already know Jessica Simpson‘s naming her unborn son Ace Johnson, she’s never actually confirmed she’s having a boy. So fortunately she knocked that out last night by announcing the gender of her baby on Jimmy Kimmel Live! (above) with a dick joke as all children should be proclaimed to the world. It’s a proud way, a noble way:
“Yeah, I’ve been vomiting. The crazy thing is that I never knew a weiner could actually make me nauseous. Aw, shucks! Well, I guess I just told the whole world that I’m having a boy!”
KID: Hey, Johnson, I saw a video where your mom said your weiner made her throw up.
ACE: Ha, well, that happens, I suppose. Thank you for that anecdote. It was quite humorous. *grows up, overthrows government, declares nuclear war on Chili’s* Who’s nauseous now, mother?! MUAHAHAHA! General Robot I Built In High School Because Everyone Called Me Weiner Boy, we attack Buffalo Wild Wings at dawn.
Exactly how that story ends.