Jessica Simpson’s Mom Was Literally Going To Shoot Her Dad After He Came Out of The Closet

April 9th, 2013 // 15 Comments
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So Jessica Simpson‘s mom Tina allegedly wrote a suicide note spelling out her intentions to shoot Joe Simpson then herself shortly after he came out of the closet and filed for divorce, according to RadarOnline:

Shortly before traveling to New York to confront Joe, 52, about his tryst with 21-year-old model Bryce Chandler Hill in August 2012, Tina scrawled a cry-for-help letter threatening to shoot herself after she discovered her husband’s homosexual tendencies, a source close to the situation tells Radar exclusively.
In the note, Tina, 53, also said she wanted to shoot Joe , her husband of 35 years, for cheating on her, a family insider reveals.
Tina left the note in the Encino home she shared with Joe and he found it! Joe immediately handed it to his lawyers who were handling his divorce proceedings.

Now some people are questioning the classiness of Joe immediately handing the note to his lawyers instead of say, the police, or Tina’s doctor after she’s locked up in the psych ward and gets the help she needs, but do you know how expensive it is to attract male models at his age? He can’t be shelling out thousands of dollars in alimony each month just because he spent decades lying to his wife and kids. In fact, now they know to always be suspicious of everything anyone tells them. He practically did them a favor.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. FattyFatty2X4

    I came outta my closet last nite eating a bag of cheetos and smelling like urine.
    Yes, the thought of shooting myself entered my head.

  2. Fun Fact: Joe Simpson is actually 54. RadarOnline thinks he’s 52 because their “research” probably consisted of Googling “Joe Simpson age” and getting the result for the mountaineer also named Joe Simpson (of Touching the Void fame)—who is 52.

  3. I’m shocked she knows how to pick up the kid. The nannies probably have to remind her what the kid’s name is.

  4. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant Weight Gain Daughter Maxwell Eric Johnson
    elephantman
    Commented on this photo:

    Look out Jessica there’s a Zombie coming up behind you!

  5. This isn’t exactly how I pictured the Defense of Marriage Act in a real-world application.

  6. The most impressive thing was that she did not eat the baby yet.

  7. I think I’m going to try to spend a week dawdling about in her cleavage. If I’m not back in a fortnight, sell all my stuff and give the money to my kids.

  8. Oh okay. Here’s a list of things I “almost” did too:

    1) Slept with Alexander Skarsgard
    2) Won the lottery
    3) Walked on the moon

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