And Now Back To Celebrity Boobs, Mainly Jessica Simpson’s

Since being predictable as fuck is my super power, after every single soapbox post, I go “Hey, guys, sorry about that. Giant boobs in your face?” because it works. So to make up for 18,000 words on pussy cops being afraid of Beyoncé, here are Jessica Simpson’s breasts fresh off of having sex with Eric Johnson’s penis on Valentine’s Day like she told everyone for some reason. And if it wasn’t to get him murdered in a violent crime of passion, then I should probably get out of this closet. And put clothes on. *tries to turn knob but hands keep slipping* Yup, I used too much Crisco.

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Photos: AKM-GSI