Jessica Simpson’s Huge Veiny Boobs Love America
Here’s a patriotic Jessica Simpson doing her best to honor those who served by cramming her mammoth breasts into an American flag bikini as the good Lord intended when he fired this great nation out of his dick.
Except, aw shit, someone just got Ivan Drago’d because here’s Russian playmate Iryna Ivanova supporting our troops so hard it makes Jessica Simpson look like she wants the terrorists to win, and she’s from Texas. Texas. Davey Crockett would be spinning in his grave if his coonskin erection didn’t keep getting stuck.
“I didn’t – *spin, spin, spin, THUNK* – die for this shit – *spin, spin, spin, THUNK* – damnable engorgement!”