As their parents battle through a nasty divorce that may or may not be because Papa Joe has been gay this whole time (It was.), rumors were circulating that Jessica and Ashlee were choosing sides and not speaking to each other. Except here’s the two of them promoting Jessica’s new clothing line together, so clearly they both sided with whichever parent said, “Would y’all quit mopin’ around like flaccid penises and sell clothes to fat ishes! I want to look like Ellen.” God only knows which one that was.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENN
About 10 years ago I had two marijuana plants in a closet named Ashley and Jessica.
Parents’.
Jessica has the most beautiful eyes in the business. I can gaze into those swirls all day long and still break away wanting more.
Randal
She feels the same about Cinnabon.
At first I didn’t realize they’re standing in front of a white table. I just thought Jessica’s giant 3D manhands were sticking out of the frame.
Or maybe it is just weirdly photoshopped…either way I’m disturbed (and aroused)
I’ve always preferred Ashlee in that I like to root for the underdog, but when you see her in motion, i.e, in music videos and what not…she just doesn’t have that intangible star power that makes you want to keep your eyes on her.
“We checked the employee lounge, the manager’s fridge, and the Ben and Jerry’s stand at the food court. I’m so sorry Ms. Simpson, but there is no rocky road.”
She forgot to remind her face she lost all that weight
“Fresh, double pepperoni pizza, Ms. Simpson. Smell it? I know you can. I can see your eyes watering. All you have to do is open your mouth, and it’ll be yours. There’s no use resisting, Ms. Simpson. I have the higher ground.”
“Could you get one of these Macy people to refill my butter cup?”
Ashley looks like a fortysomething Texas matron from money, desperately trying to hold on to her youth.
Both very ugly.
I’d love to be the meat in that Simpson sandwich, but Jessica would just eat the whole sandwich.
Ashley looking not too shabby these days.
Both looking very sexy. Well done, Jessica.
The collective plastic surgery and bleach here is astounding … and still, both their noses suck, after how many surgeries ?
Do they make Spanx for the face?
Ii thought she already got a nose job.
Her management put Jess in the sauna for the 48 hours before this appearance. Nicely done.
When’s the wedding?
She lost 140 pounds in about 4 days.
It’s like she threw up a person.
“The McRib is back?!”
“Chicken of the Sea is really tuna?! GTFO!!”
She looks amazing! Good going mama!!
Are we still pretending she really lost it and didn’t go to dr. Giggles to have it sucked out. Those couple of times she dragged her aas to the gym. Man that really worked! Morbidly obese to not in 3.2.1…. suckers!!! Turn around the ghosts of buttered pop tarts are right behind you.
Why so serious?
wow she actually looks pretty,
how nice of jessica to give her sister a ‘job’ we all know asslee doesn’t do ANYTHING and basically lives off her boyfriends and sister. what a useless twat.
Perhaps it’s just me, but Jessica looks much prettier than Ashlee.
really? i dont think her face looks that fat
ashlee’s face looks scarily thin
Looks like Weight Watchers got their money’s worth…
Really? NO ONE has commented on this one yet?! This is like a perfect opportunity. lol.
I never would’ve even guessed that was Ashlee Simpson. She really did go the Jennifer Grey, route, didn’t she.
This photo has captured the exact moment that Jessica and Ashlee have realized that Ashlee is, and always will be, the skinnier sister.
“I’m serious y’all. I make my mouth look like lady parts like this, and then he goes and sticks his thing in there. Shoot we do it all the time. And you wanna know what, I ain’t gay. So you leave daddy alone with all yer nonsense.”