See? Jessica & Ashlee Simpson Didn’t Choose Sides In Their Parent’s Divorce

November 12th, 2012 // 35 Comments

As their parents battle through a nasty divorce that may or may not be because Papa Joe has been gay this whole time (It was.), rumors were circulating that Jessica and Ashlee were choosing sides and not speaking to each other. Except here’s the two of them promoting Jessica’s new clothing line together, so clearly they both sided with whichever parent said, “Would y’all quit mopin’ around like flaccid penises and sell clothes to fat ishes! I want to look like Ellen.” God only knows which one that was.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. USDA Prime McBeef

    About 10 years ago I had two marijuana plants in a closet named Ashley and Jessica.

  2. catapostrophe

    Parents’.

  3. Randal

    Jessica has the most beautiful eyes in the business. I can gaze into those swirls all day long and still break away wanting more.

    Randal

  4. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    At first I didn’t realize they’re standing in front of a white table. I just thought Jessica’s giant 3D manhands were sticking out of the frame.

  5. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    Or maybe it is just weirdly photoshopped…either way I’m disturbed (and aroused)

  6. I’ve always preferred Ashlee in that I like to root for the underdog, but when you see her in motion, i.e, in music videos and what not…she just doesn’t have that intangible star power that makes you want to keep your eyes on her.

  7. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Commented on this photo:

    “We checked the employee lounge, the manager’s fridge, and the Ben and Jerry’s stand at the food court. I’m so sorry Ms. Simpson, but there is no rocky road.”

  8. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    She forgot to remind her face she lost all that weight

  9. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Commented on this photo:

    “Fresh, double pepperoni pizza, Ms. Simpson. Smell it? I know you can. I can see your eyes watering. All you have to do is open your mouth, and it’ll be yours. There’s no use resisting, Ms. Simpson. I have the higher ground.”

  10. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Commented on this photo:

    “Could you get one of these Macy people to refill my butter cup?”

  11. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Commented on this photo:

    Ashley looks like a fortysomething Texas matron from money, desperately trying to hold on to her youth.

  12. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    Both very ugly.

  13. El Jefe

    Ashley looking not too shabby these days.

  14. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Commented on this photo:

    Both looking very sexy. Well done, Jessica.

  15. Jack Ketch

    The collective plastic surgery and bleach here is astounding … and still, both their noses suck, after how many surgeries ?

  16. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Commented on this photo:

    Do they make Spanx for the face?

  17. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Ruby
    Commented on this photo:

    Ii thought she already got a nose job.

  18. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Her management put Jess in the sauna for the 48 hours before this appearance. Nicely done.
    When’s the wedding?

  19. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Commented on this photo:

    She lost 140 pounds in about 4 days.

    It’s like she threw up a person.

  20. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Commented on this photo:

    “The McRib is back?!”

  21. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    “Chicken of the Sea is really tuna?! GTFO!!”

  22. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    hH
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks amazing! Good going mama!!

  23. squeallikeapiggy

    Are we still pretending she really lost it and didn’t go to dr. Giggles to have it sucked out. Those couple of times she dragged her aas to the gym. Man that really worked! Morbidly obese to not in 3.2.1…. suckers!!! Turn around the ghosts of buttered pop tarts are right behind you.

  24. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    DanS
    Commented on this photo:

    Why so serious?

  25. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    ....
    Commented on this photo:

    wow she actually looks pretty,

  26. inkydink

    how nice of jessica to give her sister a ‘job’ we all know asslee doesn’t do ANYTHING and basically lives off her boyfriends and sister. what a useless twat.

  27. Ashlee's Real Nose

    Perhaps it’s just me, but Jessica looks much prettier than Ashlee.

  28. poopy

    really? i dont think her face looks that fat

    ashlee’s face looks scarily thin

  29. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Tarkus
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Weight Watchers got their money’s worth…

  30. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Really? NO ONE has commented on this one yet?! This is like a perfect opportunity. lol.

  31. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    TheMoMo
    Commented on this photo:

    I never would’ve even guessed that was Ashlee Simpson. She really did go the Jennifer Grey, route, didn’t she.

  32. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    Natty Ice
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo has captured the exact moment that Jessica and Ashlee have realized that Ashlee is, and always will be, the skinnier sister.

  33. Jessica Simpson Weight Loss Ashlee Simpson Macys
    angerinside
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m serious y’all. I make my mouth look like lady parts like this, and then he goes and sticks his thing in there. Shoot we do it all the time. And you wanna know what, I ain’t gay. So you leave daddy alone with all yer nonsense.”

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