Ace Johnson Has Landed

July 1st, 2013 // 34 Comments
'Ace Johnson'
Jessica Simpson Cleavage Boobs Pregnant
They're Naming The Kid 'Ace Johnson' Read More »

Jessica Simpson should really send Kim Kardashian a Thank You card because I completely forgot there was another pregnant woman out there. Also, she wasn’t comically huge this time and barely showed her breasts. Legally I could’ve declared her dead. People reports:

The Fashion Star mentor, 32, and her fiancé, Eric Johnson, welcomed son Ace Knute Johnson on Sunday, June 30, her rep confirms to PEOPLE. The middle name honors Johnson’s Swedish grandfather, the rep explains.

If this kid’s first words aren’t, “Buy war bonds,” Hitler won. On that note, according to my math, we’re three weeks late congratulating Jessica on already expecting her third baby, so apologies for that. We can’t wait to meet Guy Fieri’s Donkey Sauce. (She gets to name the next one.)

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Splash News

superficial

  1. Jessica Simpson Gave Birth Delivered Son Ace Knute Johnson
    Commented on this photo:

    Her husband made her drive to the hospital ?

  2. Ming the Malevolent

    Welcome to the world little guy. Too bad your parents have a thing for stupid baby names.

    • Trek Girl

      The name Ace is of English origin and means “number one, the best”. Variants of the name are Acee, Acer, Acey, and Acie. It is also an English surname.

      The name doesn’t sound stupid to me, but, hey, to each his own.

  3. Pickle Nose

    And elsewhere in Hollywood, Busy Phillips just started her fifth trimester.

  4. Trek Girl

    I like the name and I like it’s meaning. The more traditional names and the love people have for them is somewhat irritating, so I welcome less common ones.

    • hamtime

      Tell it like it is Trek Girl!
      … but this kid is gonna have nicknames like “Number 1 Penis”. It’s almost as bad as a traditional name like Michael Hunt.

      • Trek Girl

        Meh — nicknames can be thought of for any name, so nicknames be damned, I say.

        Dare to pick a name that isn’t from the bible, or is lesser known (there are many, many great ones that aren’t used much), and definitely make use of variants of common names — that’ll make heads explode.

  5. schmidtler

    Jessica Simpson is a Billionaire. Let that soak in for a minute. Now consider the fact that, as of the instant this fat little mongoloid baby fell out of her uterus, he’s got more money than any of you will ever see in your entire lives, no matter how hard you work.

  6. Hopalong

    Tough Jumping the Shark on the day you were born.

  7. Ace…ok whatever, so the kid has the nickname of an unathletic fat kid whose dad wants him to feel better about himself, but is just getting him beaten up. But “Knute”? As in “she turned me into a…”?

    • Trek Girl

      Knute is a Scandinavian name that means ‘knot’ and is common in Norway and Sweden.

      • We get it. You can Google name meanings. You can stop now.

      • Trek Girl

        Nope. Every time someone says a name is stupid when it is very similar to common names, or someone questions the meaning of a name, I’m going to reply.

      • The kid isn’t in Scandinavia, and in this country “knute” is a homophone for a slimy amphibian. And just for the record “Knot” is a shitty name too.

      • Trek Girl

        He isn’t in Scandanavia, but he is of Scandanvian descent, hence the name honoring his grandfather. See how that works?

        I don’t know what your name is, but if we go by your logic, you’d most likely have to change your name or start moving to the country/region your name comes from.

      • I got a friend named Knute and he is indeed Scandihoovian. :)
        I’m Danish and am bummed that my name is not. It might be pretty cool to have a rare name.

    • McFeely, if you’re truly bent on defending Ace as an “unathletic” name, take the time to look up “Rockne”.

  8. Jessica’s ‘third’ baby, is currently hiding behind an undigested turducken from 2011, finding a new definition of pain and suffering, as it is slowly digested over a thousand years.

  9. anonym

    WTF? that was fast.

    Was it premature?

  10. Ashlee

    she’s such a pig

  11. “NO MORE babies for a while! In fact, starting tomorrow I think I’m going to start letting him put it in my butt…”

  12. Jessica Simpson Gave Birth Delivered Son Ace Knute Johnson
    Kim
    Commented on this photo:

    She never got over the Romo.

    • oh i know

      kim, I totally agree!! I think she would’ve married Tony in a courthouse but yet several years, a crappy ring and 2 kids now with this dude and she can’t “find the time” to say “I do”?? he isn’t the one….

  13. Really? Ass Nut Johnson?

  14. Congratulations Jessica.

  15. J. Evans-Fye

    Second baby, not third…..Does anyone ever get married any more?

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