It’s Jessica Biel’s Butt In A Bikini

Until now, I would’ve safely said no other bikini butt photos could ever come close to matching the power and ass-majesty of Leighton Meester in Hawaii. It was like staring into the face of Butt-halla as winged Valkyries gave you a lap dance. But then out of the sea came Jessica Biel in Puerto Rico and everything I thought I knew was cracked like so many butts upon an assy shore. So, on that note, let’s take a minute and just marvel at the magic Justin Timberlake pulled off here. Not only was he already having sex with this whenever he wanted, but at one point he basically put it on a shelf, stuck his penis into the entire world, then came home and pulled it right back off the shelf where he told Gerard Butler to leave it when he was done. Granted, he had to pretend he’ll marry it, what does that even mean to these people? Only the poor go, “Damn, divorce is expensive.” It’s practically this generation’s version of slavery provided you don’t apply any sort of historical context and/or rational thought to that statement. (Please don’t do that.)

Photo: Fame/Flynet