Jessica Alba appears in the latest issue of British GQ where she says a bunch of stuff about cellulite and saggy breasts that I didn’t pay attention to. Look, there comes a time in every man’s life when he has to mature and realize it’s not about what a woman say, it’s how she says it. Or something. I’ve mostly been staring at Jessica Alba’s groin until everything ceases to exist around me. It’s a very complicated, spiritual process. (Has anyone seen my crotchless bathrobe?)
Thanks to Ryan who’s selflessly offered to check for traces of cellulite using nothing but the tip of his nose. Good man.
Photos: GQ UK
I dunno… I’ve stared at this picture for like half an hour and I don’t see any cellulite. Just glorious box.
Pic#3 is the exit of an illegal alien sanctuary tunnel.
is that thing smell like fish like everybody else .
ohwooow. check out that kit-kat gap. id rape that shit. ohhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
She’s a cutie but after she got married I couldn’t look at her with the same leer in my eye. It’s the same story with Christina Hendricks. Another guy’s babe for life.
isnt that space between her legs kinda… large and weird?
NO it’s not large, & NO it’s not weird … at all, NOT at ALL!
But I bet it does smell a little fishy at times :O)
how is it that no one comments that “she s on sale now”
that means she is selling sex a bit cheaper than usual
She’s got zero cellulite!
nah, it’s all about the right poses, getting the muscles to flex and smooth out any problem areas like water in a balloon. never taking pictures from her “bad side”.
oh and Photoshop.
Yeah she doesn’t have cellulite in magazines cause there’s this miraculous thing called… PHOTOSHOP! People are seriously deluded if they think that’s what she really looks like. Especially after having a kid.
hahaha thank you, i’m glad i’m not the only one living in reality land. of course she has cellulite, but they’re not gonna leave it for everyone to gawk at in their magazine.
I know these words are thrown around more than midget bowling, but that is one mama id like to Rough….
above the right eye of this mexican slut and her *SS totally.
She must be excited that now people will finally take her seriously as an actress.
Well this is a perfect opportunity… My doctor told me that I have this big ol’ long piece of skin in my groin or pelvis region, and it’s sole purpose is for checking percentage of cellulite in a girls v-jay spot, so Jessy, spread those legs wide and let me have look. I also has measuring line both up and down the length of the schlong as well as around the girth, so it can double as a check for saggy breasts. However, we must act now, I need to get some baseline measurements, and then do monthly checks to keep a close eye and schlong on things. Call me sweet Jessie, we’ll work you into my busy schedule. xoxo
Sounds to me like her publicist told her to say that BS. She wants to be taken seriously as an actress now that she’s a mom. We get it.
69th!!
haha!
i’m having a lousy day, but this makes my day feel so much better. jessica, you are so fucking beautiful.
Take this shit outta here..Taliban terrorist supporter.
Absolute NO relevancy to this post.
I think that, considering her negative influence on Jessica’s self-esteem and willingness to do nudity, that we men should all make a blood pact and swear that the first order of business, once someone invents a time machine, is to go back to 1982 and “disappear” Jessica Alba’s grandmother. With extreme prejudice. Look her up and see the damage she has wrought on us.
I love anal stuff but(T) somehow, someway defying reason, I am not suppressing my homosexuality. I never speak of vaginas, only anuses.
Oh yea, love how men here are saying she isn’t fuckable or attractive. Please, any one of us would be smiling like thieves if we had the opportunity to be with Alba. Most of the men who are criticizing her body are the same ones who don’t go out at night or meet real humans in person. The world isn’t just filled with webcam chicks you know. Go out, meet a woman, see what they are like in person. You might be much less critical when you realize your pocket protector wearing, Video Game playing, Star Trek Obsessing, Mom’s basement living ass isn’t the ideal for women too.
There is nothing at all physically wrong with Jessica Alba. She’s had a kid, big whoop. Doesn’t mean her pussy is floppy and nasty. It stretches then stretches back you know. It’s ELASTIC ffs. She has some cellulite. Big whoop, she’s not 18 anymore she is a woman.
Check out the movie “The Killer Inside Me” she’s naked and getting her ass spanked hard, hard, hard and fucked by Casey Affleck. I didn’t see any cellulite.
don’t you have to actually have breasts for them to sag? it’s more like her nipples are heading south
Yeah, and then there’s the fact that the vagina is a muscle..
is there machines at the gym for this?
ARE there any machines at the gym for this.
No thanks this mexican-ish bitch, can keep her stadium sized vagina. Pass.
all shes doin people, is trying to score points with the target demographic that absolutely despises her for having such an incredible body. She’s not crazy, its calculated.
where do i buy this AMIZING swimsuit???!
“had a baby Next”
Priceless.
As someone already said – Photoshop trimming and color correcting!
That’s quite the gap!
Screw that, she’s hot!
Jessica has some sexy lips.
And.. is a certainly a Milf.
Besides ‘into the blue” and that stripper
character , been kinda boring.
I’m not into her that much anymore. she
was hotter circa – the “Dark angel” days.
Definitely hit it though… like 2 or 25 times.
she is super pretty
I think she look healthy . She is not ugly and not because she has a daughter doesn’t mean that she is less atractive..please…
I think that Jessica Alba should not pay attention to those negative comments cause at the end of the day she”s rich and she could do anything to inprove her body..so be it….
And stoned…..
Of course she’s got a gap, her husband is half african american… That shits TORE up!!! lol!! Plus who cares about her, she’s angry all the damn time. Either she’s not getting it right, or she needs to get more… Maybe cash should stick it in her other hole, then take some pics:) lol Maybe the biatch will smile for once!!! She’s old news anyways… NEXT!!!
She’s trying to hard in this pic… she’s not sexy, she’s ANGRY!!! She may be pretty at most times, but come on now,,, its HOLLYWOOD!!! They get the best of the best… Botox, trainers, the best makeup artist… You think there going to let her walk out the door looking tore up… Jess smile for once,,, your life isn’t THAT bad!!!
To those of you Odinless worms making bullshit remarks about dear Jessica’s ethnicity, congeal in Niflheim for eternity!
Simply wanna remark that you have a very nice internet site , I the pattern it really stands out.
Hey parker have you tried a vagina before man? I always thought the anus was for shitting out of. There’s shit in there bud.
Just trying to help out.
Best post of the Day!
Her butt in idle hands was awesome!
Am I the only one who remembers this is the month of October and Halloween is just around the corner? Color or no, the time of the year says Spook is appropriate for non-racial reasons.
Jessica is not even Mexican. She got her DNA test results on the George Lopez show and they showed she is 87% white and 13% Indian (Native American. She also wasn’t aware that her so-called “Spanish” blood is white, not latino.
Yes Jizz, you stud you. you’ve banged a lot of Latina ‘porn’ stars. Just because you privately video tape yourself fucking 10 dollar Puerto Rican Hookers you pick up while cruising the slums doesn’t make them porn stars or you a stud.
Wait, LatinO porn stars??? You are fucking gay porn men and taping them then. Gotcha.
She’s not even Mexican. 87% white and 13% Indian (Native American) – DNA test proves that. So you can relax now.
well Vegmaster, what your mommy taught you was wrong so you’re not providing any useful advice, don’t worry. Most people here are smart enough to realize you aren’t smart enough to know any better and won’t hold your childish advice against you. Now go get your bottle and take a nap.
Hey “Real” Man u realize dont u that a baby’s head aint all that much wider than a big dick when its passing thru a birth canal? Skull bones dont fuse together til months after birth. Thus the skull in effect collapses to a degree during birth. Now in the event a tighter pussy does tear during birth u just ask thr dr to put a cpl extra stitches in there. It’s ok they hear that one after every episiotomy. Oh and then there’s kegel exercises.. Trust me a mother of ten could have a tight snatch if she wants.
Eh fart jokes are funny
Spook also means spy
DNA test? Idiot. She is an over the hill pig since her only claim to fame was as an ethnically muddled YOUNG hotty.
@* starfish * – Get bent you racist Odinless worm.
Your insults to me are mindless. My Mommy, unlike yours, did not get involved with my sex life you inbred sodomist. Are you aware that there are bacterial infections from feces?
You haven’t answered up to whether or not you engage (in your fantasies which is why you post them online rather than having actual sex rather than virtual) in normal heterosexual behavior. I doubt it, troll.
Now post something else involving you turd encrusted, infectious urogenital tract embedded in someone’s colon.
Your words are filled with signs of self-hatred and loathing. That and the obscure reference to sexuality suggest you may have homosexual thoughts you struggle to supress but when some word or phrase brings them back to conciousness you lash out. Is that the problem Vegmaster? Don’t hate yourself. Maybe it’s not the lifestyle you would have chosen for yourself if you had a choice but these days a majority of people are very accepting of gays so you don’t have to hate yourself. You were born that way. We all have only one life to live so try to make yours a happy one. Lashing out at others is a first step on what is often only a short road to ruin. Seek help before its too late. You don’t have to like women in a sexual way but I and many others do so even if you can’t respect that then at least you must not hate. It’s such a corrosive feeling.
hahahaha!!!! That’s what I was thinking too. she has low self esteem, she doesn’t think she’s hot, she thinks she needs to lose weight. She’s PERFECT!!!! hahahaha
yeah pretty sure if you tell her that you’d like to put it in her butt but it’s too big; she give up the anal on the spot as long as you “think she’s still pretty”
She said she didn’t need any anesthetic to get her baby out of her vagina. A normal woman’s vagina will rip because of the size of the baby’s head, and therefore it will hurt like hell, and thus the need for anesthetic. So this means that she has a huge vagina. So you are right if you think a vagina with the diameter of a baby head is tight.
that’s why c sections were invented…
Every man knows what you mean, but few would say it lol
The only explanation for such intense hate for such a hot chick is that you’re a woman. Either that or you got rejected by a hot latin girl. Either way, sucks to be you.
And no, she’s not too skinny at all. Of course, it wouldn’t surprise me if you actually went into Paint to draw internal organs on her out of spite.
Sure, Alba might have a crappy personality, but she’s not any less hotter physically.
Her face is oval.
Get some glasses.
It’d be funny if it werent so sad… god only knows how badly she deprives herself of food, and having that baby totally fucked her up mentally. She’s got some major body dysmorphia going on.
No tires left huh =(