Jessica Alba is Disgusted With This Body

To promote Spy Kids 4*spit take*Jessica Alba appears in the August issue of Allure where she whines about how having a baby ruined her body and then shit-talks Gisele Bundchen:

“I can’t ever get down to the weight I was before I had Honor,” she says. “My body’s just different. The jeans just sort of zip up differently, and things hang differently. It’s a miracle what happens, but you definitely are different afterward.” She laughs. “Unless you’re Gisele.”

Ahahaha! Her body’s ruined by child birth and she hates Gisele for having superhuman genes. Oh, celebrities, you’re just like us. But seriously, anyone find it annoying that Jessica Alba got pregnant just to rope Cash Warren into marriage, only to complain it ruined her body so much she did it again? I’m pretty sure there’s a word for repeating the exact same action and expecting different results, and it’s every single woman I’ve ever met. Then again, this also enables me to have awkward, 30 seconds of sex where I cry each time, so scratch everything I just said. Handbags! Who wants handbags? Beautiful, over-priced handbags you’ll use for four weeks tops.

Photo: Fame, Splash News