Jessica Alba is Cleavagey and Other News

January 26th, 2011 // 34 Comments

- Jessica Simpson hasn’t worked out in six years. That’s what I got from this. [Popeater]

- Elton John‘s baby will destroy your family. [Dlisted]

- Ryan Murphy takes rejection gracefully. [IDLYITW]

- Penelope Cruz had one of those kid things everyone keeps making. [Bossip]

- Bradley Cooper won’t get his picture taken next to Renee Zellweger. [Lainey Gossip]

- Sophie Monk is engaged to a guy in his 50′s. Surprise, he’s rich! [Hollywood Tuna]

- Whitney Port apparently has legs. Long ones. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer spend their soft-core vampire porn money. [Just Jared]

- Cindy Busby is yet another example of why I should flee to Canada. [Maxim]

- Olivia Munn Presents: Dork Boner Explosion. [BuzzFeed]

- Turkey’s Done! [theCHIVE]

- The 50 Most Spankable Booties in Sports. “No Ben Roethlisberger?” Rashard Mendenhall thought to himself. [Bleacher Report]

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Photos: Fame, Getty, Pacific Coast News

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  1. More like tittie-riffic. Amirite?

    • qwerty

      “Sophie Monk is engaged to a guy in his 50’s. Surprise, he’s rich!”

      The surprise goes both ways.
      So, what first attracted you to the slim,young,blonde Sophie Monk?

  2. flavorfest

    i don’t know about cleavagey, more like squished saggage

  3. abe vigoda's eyebrows

    she is so pretty. Unlike Britney, Mischa and a few others, this girl did not peak at 19. She is still as gorgeous as she was then.

    • horn dog

      Yes, but still has the bod of a 12 y.o. boy. Rosie O’Donnell has more cleavage on her forehead.

      • abe vigoda's eyebrows

        what 12 year old boy is shaped like Alba? I hate when people make comments like that. I don’t have huge boobs, and I have a little, perky butt. That does NOT make a woman look like a boy. Curve of the waist/hips, and a VAGINA take that away.

        jackass.

    • clyde

      I completely agree, she’s so beautiful. :)

  4. The “The 50 Most Spankable Booties in Sports” link was pretty disappointing. I’m not sure how a photo of Jessica Simpson from 6 years ago qualifies as “in sports”, but it throws the integrity of the entire hierarchy into question.

  5. Joe Blow

    Jennifer Love Hewitt has nothing on the PITA

  6. nahhhhh

    Re: Cindy Busby and some others lately – do you have a forehead fetish?

  7. Cardinal Fang

    Not hard to picture her naked.

  8. See Alice

    Nadine Valesquez is way hotter .

  9. TomFrank

    That IDLYITW post was a prime example of why I stopped reading that site.

  10. Edamame

    There might be a baby in that belly…looks like a teeny, tiny bump to me. Seriously, the second time around, it pops right out there! She’s gorgeous, as always!

  11. welldoneson

    Suddenly I have a craving for a caramel smoothie…

  12. finally Jessica grew a pair.

  13. Becky

    Seconding TomFrank on the IDLYITW post, the related Followill entry is straight up vile.

  14. I used to like Glee, but Ryan Murphy is just such a little bitch that he’s ruined it for me. Maybe real artists (by that I mean people who make art, not fucking noise that gets autotuned and processed for the retarded masses) have a problem with said art being redone Kidz Bop-style. I’m sure if Ryan Murphy had asked Johnny Cash or the The Nug if he could use one of their songs, no only would the reply be “fuck no,” but both would march over to the studio and beat the shit out of every one of those damn Gleeks for even thinking they were good enough to publicly sing their songs.

    Oh, and fuck Alba. She was hot back when I was 12 and she was on Flipper bouncing around in a bikini, but now she’s just one more loud mouthed stuck up bitch, who thanks to Cash Warren or Warren Cash or whatever the fuck his name is, no longer has the looks to back up her attitude.

  15. Also, fuck that Munn whore too. She’s the Hollywood version of the cheerleader who flirted with the nerd just enough to get him to do her homework and vote for her for prom queen. She is nothing special, looks or talent wise, and the sooner she falls off the face of the Earth, the better.

  16. Jessica Alba
    Magic of Digital Enhancements
    Commented on this photo:

    Love the bulging belly, non-existent waist when no digital enhancement or airbrushing was done.

  17. Jimminycraft

    She does look like she has a tiny bun in the oven.

  18. wim

    pssssst: SOME MEXICANS WANT TO BLOW HER UP, folks.

  19. Jessica Alba
    xerozs
    Commented on this photo:

    We would all fuck her dry…. easy…wether you think she has cleavage or not… we’d still hit that…

  20. Ken + Barbie

    HOTTEST WOMAN ALIVE! HANDS DOWN. PERFECT IN EVERY WAY SHAPE AND FORM!!! HAIR, SKIN, STYLE, BODYYYY…

  21. seth rogen's vagina

    wow, with those looks all she needs is a shred of acting talent, and she could be in movies!

  22. she is so classy

    she look black mix

  23. cj

    omg….there is a link…on the superficial…….about the grocery store I went to 100000000x as I was growing up. yep. pretty bizarre.

  24. Theo

    She still cant act..

    Jessica Alba ruined the FF4!

  25. bla bla

    mustache?

  26. Squishy

    Looks pregnant.

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