Jessica Alba is Cleavagey and Other News

- Jessica Simpson hasn’t worked out in six years. That’s what I got from this. [Popeater]

- Elton John’s baby will destroy your family. [Dlisted]

- Ryan Murphy takes rejection gracefully. [IDLYITW]

- Penelope Cruz had one of those kid things everyone keeps making. [Bossip]

- Bradley Cooper won’t get his picture taken next to Renee Zellweger. [Lainey Gossip]

- Sophie Monk is engaged to a guy in his 50’s. Surprise, he’s rich! [Hollywood Tuna]

- Whitney Port apparently has legs. Long ones. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer spend their soft-core vampire porn money. [Just Jared]

- Cindy Busby is yet another example of why I should flee to Canada. [Maxim]

- Olivia Munn Presents: Dork Boner Explosion. [BuzzFeed]

- Turkey’s Done! [theCHIVE]

- The 50 Most Spankable Booties in Sports. “No Ben Roethlisberger?” Rashard Mendenhall thought to himself. [Bleacher Report]

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Photos: Fame, Getty, Pacific Coast News