Jesse Metcalfe checks into rehab

March 22nd, 2007 // 64 Comments

A rep for Jesse Metcalfe confirmed that he checked into a rehab center for alcohol abuse this week. His rep released a statement saying:

“On Monday, March 19, Jesse Metcalfe entered a rehab facility to deal with alcohol issues. He realized he had a problem and was anxious to deal with it immediately. The actor, best known as the hunky gardener on the ABC show ‘Desperate Housewives’ and the star of the film ‘John Tucker Must Die,’ hopes that the media will allow him the privacy to deal properly with his treatment.”

Jesus Christ it must suck to be somebody’s rep, because you have to refer to people like Jesse Metcalfe as “the hunky gardener on the ABC show ‘Desperate Housewives’ and the star of the film ‘John Tucker Must Die.’” If I had that job I’d just refer to all my clients as Douchebag 1, Douchebag 2, etc. Unless I represented Angelina Jolie. Then I’d just remove my pants and refer to her as “My Love.”



  1. Douchebag1

    Hey wait a minute. What’d I do?

    Oh and yes, Jesse MetLife is a douche. Find a picture of him with a hot chick and I’ll post it on my blog:

  2. PrincessBitchy

    I wonder if he’ll get “naughty” in rehab?

  3. Angelina Jolie looks like a scarecrow.

  4. GG1000

    Hey, don’t diss the rep. I mean, he helped me out, because when I first read this headline, I thought, “Who the ^%$# is Jesse Metcalf?” and at least that got cleared up for me.

  5. Haha. “O NOEZ, nobody cares that I exist after my stinking turd of a movie… time to announce I’m going to rehab!” What a painfully transparent PR stunt.

    btw, as to the massive flaming that just took place, I don’t really see how it’s anti-Christian or whatever to laugh maniacally at the antics of a bunch of spoiled celebrities over the Internets. It’s not like we’re stoning them to death. As for the writing style of this site, it’s the reason I come here — I’m a Christian and just about every entry sends me into hysterics.

    btw, this isn’t a Christian-themed site so you don’t really have any basis to get up on the soapbox and start yelling about how the name of God is being profaned, when the site never set out to avoid that in the first (FRIST) place.

  6. iamsosmrt

    I love how Mr. Soap Opera (Passions and btw Desperate Housewives is a soap opera, just because it’s at night doesn’t mean it’s not “bon bon eating, harpie, my husband is not attracted to me” television) is making his bad ass face in his leather jacket.

    He would be eaten alive in prison. Go put on your khaki’s, call your mom for advice and settle down little man.

  7. k naz

    yo superfish you forgot the part about how he was making out with britney in the bushes

  8. crazyotto


  9. WTF? Dude, everybody has alcohol problems when they are young. Everybody cool at least…this rehab shit is stupid.

  10. pana1718

    he is hot as hell!

  11. doug

    I grew up with jesse metcalfe…so glad he is a somewhat failure after DH..lets hope it never gets better!@! haha

  12. Midge

    I used to think this guy was so hot. Now I think Jesse MetCrabs is a first-rate douchebag. Seriously. When he’s making a face like that, who’d want to go to bed with him? He looks like he just shit his pants or something.

  13. He is looking very handsome and unless he represented Angelina Jolie. Then he would just remove his pants and wants to sleep with his bed.

  14. I like…so beautiful and sexy,good!

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