Jesse James: ‘My dad hit me, so I had to bang all those whores.’

May 26th, 2010 // 50 Comments

During Jesse James’ interview with Nightline he revealed he was abused by his father which apparently caused his penis to fall into the Tattoed Vag of the Third Reich. Why not? Via People:

“I was a terrorized kid,” James, 41, said about beatings he received from his father. “I was petrified of my dad … It wasn’t so much getting the sh– beat out of me or getting my arm broken or getting kicked or whatever or punched, it was the in-between time. It was the fear of that happening again.”
As a result of his lack of self-worth, he said, “I grew up with a huge amount of shame and fear and abandonment on my shoulders from a very young age, and I think, you know, the way my mind rationalized [cheating], ‘Well, you know, I might as well do whatever I can to like run her off, ’cause she is going to find out what I am anyway and leave me anyway.’”

I’m not one to make light of serious situations unless it involves Simon Monjack’s heart stopping from the stress of scamming Brittany Murphy’s death, but isn’t it a little convenient that the only way Jesse James could handle his childhood abuse was to have sex with lots of women? Sometimes the heart of a matter is simply “I have a penis.” That’s like me saying I have to constantly frequent strip clubs because my parents told me at a young age there’s a man with pointy ears and a tail who wants to burn me for eternity if I watch He-Man. — Wait, that’s actually true.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Those tattoos are just to much. Really.

  2. joho777

    Right. It’s your parent’s fault you spent your married years chasing tattooed whores.

    Have you run this this excuse past Sandra yet?

    What a loser.


    Jesse needs to get a little therapy. Early childhood abuse doesn’t justify adultery, but it certainly makes it more understandable. He doesn’t see himself as anything good, so he settles for trash cuz he thinks he is trash. Then someone great comes along and loves him and he feels inauthentic, waiting for the smoke and mirrors to come crashing down. Makes sense. We all have baggage.

  4. GLT

    My guess is she got all the tattoos as a distraction so people wouldn’t notice how fugly she is. Problem is, it didn’t work.

  5. Johnny Stab-O

    What a cop out. I was verbally abused by my parents and I’ve never cheated on my wife. Of course she’s hotter than Sandra Bullock. It’s just an excuse for Jesse to continue being a he-whore.

  6. Karen

    She looks like she’s into fat, hairy guys with a small package. Boys, today is your best day ever!!!

  7. bar room hero

    That slag is fucking disgusting!

  8. l

    That’s the most idiotic “rationalization” I’ve ever heard. What a douchebag. He only made it WORSE with that interview, he should’ve kept his mouth shut.

  9. crazypants

    Eh, even if you don’t like his rationalization, there’s some truth to be found in the sad fact that if your parents – who are your earliest and most influential determinant factors of the kind of person you’ll grow up to be – beat the living shit out of you and terrorize you for your entire childhood – then you will grow up w/ a fuck load of issues.

    Issues which may include being attracted to certain types of “outsiders” and being completely unable to maintain stable, adult relationships.

  10. Cartman

    I’m surprised the superficial writer isn’t more sympathic. Usually liberals love the idea of blaming others for crimes commited. Come on, if his father wasn’t such an asshole republican who overdisciplined his kid than none of these shenanigans would’ve occured and Jesse would still have a happy marriage and a black baby.

  11. THis douche bag thinks he’s still 21. He’s one of those cheezy hollywood, affliction tshirt wearing clowns that thinks hes differnt just cause hes got tats and drives a shitty bike.

  12. Captain_Insano

    What a fucking tool.

  13. Jen

    i believe that he is probably fucked up in the head about all of that shit that happened in his childhood. However, there comes a point when you are old enough to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. He should have dealt with this a long time ago. Too bad other people had to suffer from his actions. Now get help, fucker!

  14. SO RIGHT

    # 10 — a voice of reason! Welcome.

  15. tard

    whaawhaa. boofriggingwho. A real person would rise above this and aspire to become a better person. He still wins, he’s rich.

  16. Mcfeely Smackup

    Do we really need some kind of psyco-babble justification excuse? He likes to bang more chicks than just his moderately attractive wife, and has the fame and notoriety to do so at will. OMG, how can we wrap our brains around this? How could such a thing even be possible?

    Grow the fuck up all of you. He “cheated” because he had the opportunity combined with the desire to do so. Then he got caught because he’s a fucking moron. Nothing here is difficult to understand.

    The only problem I have with this whole thing is poor tearful Sandra being put up on a pedestal. She married a tattooed biker badboy who used to be married to a tattooed porn star…are we really supposed to believe she couldn’t have expected any of this?

  17. Lame

    It’s a man, baby.

  18. Sicily

    I don’t know what you gys all bitching about..she’s hot look at that body..i’d eat her asshole gnub gnub

  19. @12 For the win. Exactly.

  20. Screwing Off

    I like the tattoos on the body, and she started getting it right by covering up her fugly face. We’ll be better off once that is covered completely and buy a friggin wig for pete’s sake!

  21. Fruit Loop

    He doesn’t need to make up lame reasons why he cheated. He could just as well rationalize that Sandra didn’t swallow last week and that drove him into the tattooed arms of another bitch. A lot of guys cheat, it’s just the way it is, not all, but a lot.

    Over the years I’ve really been surprised at work as to the amount of co-workers cheating on their wives. Nice family guys with wife and kids at home, pretty normal and loving home life. They come in one day and talk about the weekend, with the wife out of town or whatever and the old girlfriend they called and boned and what a good fuck she was. Some even so brazen as to bring in pictures or whatever.

    Guys want to screw, ALOT. Not getting sex from the wife really messes with a guy’s mind, in ways it’s hard to imagine until you’re there. I know kids and the daily grind and aging slow down the sex, but couples gotta keep up with it, and put forth the effort, men and women both.

    Its just pretty much one of those unspoken understandings, guys are going to screw, for most it would rather be the wife, but they’ll find an alternative if they have to.

  22. Joe C

    I still can’t get over how ugly that bitch is. If you’re famous and you’re going to cheat on your rich ass wife, at least do it with some hot chicks.

    Most of Tiger’s hos were pretty hot. Jessie needs to learn from him.

  23. snarkyscreenname

    OMFG! Thank you Fish, thank you for that hysterical video. You made my horrendous morning so much better. I <3 you!!


    What a fucking disgusting tattooed retard slut. Oh sorry, I mean “Inked Girl” as these whores like to call themselves. Kind of like calling a garbage man a “sanitation engineer.”

  25. notafan


  26. Tek

    LOL @ Fish not being one to make light of serious situations. Funniest shit I’ve read all day. Oh yeah, and that’s definitely a tranny.

    Interviewer: Mr. Parker. We just caught you sodomizing that poor dog. What do you have to say for yourself?
    Parker: My mom wouldn’t buy me toys growing up. So I had to play with Wolfy…

    Makes sense to me, Jesse!

  27. Chris

    These excuses make me hate the person even more. Why even talk about it? Just own the actions and move on. “I was beaten blah blah blah”… seriously if you’re going to make excuses I’d rather just hear “I’m horny, and selfish”.

  28. Nicole

    All those Tats are gross. Why have sex with her? Really?
    Why would any woman get their bodies covered in tats like that? Picture this chick at 65.. 70.. 85.. yuck!!!!!! It’s bad enough gravity takes over.. but tats and gravity.. bad combo!! Seriously…

  29. Mama Pinkus

    my guess is that Ms. Bullock could have forgiven infidelity – just not with an extreme skank like that gal

  30. shemalelover

    I don’t care what you say!

    I’d totally lick this chick’s asshole and stroke his cock with my both hands.

  31. bmose

    She reminds me of a time when I saw that a dog had eaten a box of crayons and threw up.

  32. ghost

    So it’s everyone’s fault but his? You fucked up, Jesse. You. Not your parents, not your wife. You. Your kids have lost a good, stable influence. It’s time for you to grow up, own up, and think about someone other than yourself for a change.

  33. Tracey

    Hey Jesse, time to shut your mouth man. You are not doing yourself any favors. We all have our problems but I didn’t sleep with anyone because my Dad was mean. Especially when you cheat with something that looks like it was created by Warner Brothers.

  34. turd da third

    Man that is one rough looking bitch..makes my dick shrink just looking at her

  35. Cheesy one of those Hollywood, affliction t-shirt wearing clown who thinks he is just cause he is different habitats and led to a shitty bicycle.

  36. thank you for sharing ! hope see more here !

  37. captain america

    please send this sucker a few years to AFGHANISTAN, folks.
    ……….but without a weapon!!

  38. Donk Donkerson

    Tatooed vag of the third Reich…lol

  39. obz

    wow, i really want someone to double tap that face with some hollow points, she really is a lower that a common crack whore.

  40. Renee

    It would be great if humans could evolve beyond the devaluation of women regardless of the like or dislike of her tattoos. Stop calling women whores. Stop thinking of women in those terms. Period. I don’t care who she screws, how many get a turn, or how many tattoos she has- or doesn’t have. Grow up. Show some respect for all concerned. Sandra didn’t deserve what happened. Jesse behaved like a dick. Michelle isn’t ugly. People do bad things. You’ve done some bad things yourself. I would think, you wouldn’t want your crappiest moment in the news. Just stop with all the whore talk. It’s ugly, and hateful, and dangerous… Much more then any of her tattoos ever could be.

  41. What a beautiful picture.

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  43. Cool.
    It is very cool.

  44. mikesby
    Commented on this photo:

    Tats are fucking trashy

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