Jesse James denies sex tape(s)

Jesse James is denying the existence of any sex tapes including ones with Sandra Bullock and/or his penis painted to look like a Nazi zeppelin:

“The claims of sex tapes are untrue and completely fabricated,” says a rep for James in an exclusive statement to PEOPLE.

I don’t even know why Jesse James even bothered to make this denial. Did he honestly think it would help his reputation at this point? Let’s see, Jesse frequently cheated on Sandra Bullock either consensually with Nazi strippers or by sexually harassing his employees, BUT he never made a sex tape. Let’s forgive him.

Photos: Splash News