Jesse James apologizes to Sandra Bullock

March 18th, 2010 // 170 Comments

Jesse James released the following statement to People today apologizing to his family for recent reports of an affair with stripper/porn star Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (above):

The vast majority of the allegations reported are untrue and unfounded. Beyond that, I will not dignify these private matters with any further public comment.
“There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It’s because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way.
“This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me.”

So I’m guessing the vast minority of the allegations that are true involve a tattooed vagina, the words “open marriage” and a cotton swab to the urethra because condoms are for suckers. But at least Jesse James is man enough to admit his mistake and then basically assume his family will forgive him one day, so who wants to fuck?

Or was that not the message?

Photos: Splash News

  1. She deserves every STD she gets. Jessie is icky and I am sure Michelle is not the only woman…

  2. tc

    I don’t know what the fuss is about.

    I would fuck her/him.

  3. She looking so beautiful, and her boobs are looking so big and attractive also, i wanna suck her boobs,

  4. shankyouverymuch

    Magilla Gorilla- No no … I mean- Vanilla Gorilla yeah that’s it :O)

  5. Cumquat

    Randal couldn’t even muster up much in the way of his usual faux enthusiasm. Growl, indeed.

  6. I think this woman’s sign is Cancer. That’s because she has crabs.

  7. rex kramer

    What butcher did her boob job? Did he use a piece of broken glass instead of a scalpel? Jesse really exercised poor judgement, but he sure can pick em. His baby mama did a porn with a transexual before she went to prison for tax evasion,nice.

  8. Well, sorry fixes everything.

    These pics are fucking hideous. Her ugly trailer tramp flip flop feet, what the fucking hell? God have mercy, yuck. HORF

  9. sasha

    As bad as she looks now, imagine her at 40!! Now 50, with a turtleneck and long grey bangs to cover all the ink! Now that’s funny. Trophy my ass.

  10. Randal's Rectum

    All persons of fame and infamy are *stars* to me. I worship them like an astronomer in the depths of night, always searching the firmament for a supernova to burst on the scene.
    Lovely arrangement of pieces dear sweetness, keep up the artistic ensemble!
    Your loving Randal’s Rectum

  11. Blitz

    Jesse James is bag of shit!

    Sandra Bullock is 10 times hotter than this biker slut!

  12. AmericanWhiteTrash

    Birds of a feather. The guy needs to bang whores with tattoos. He had a kid with a porn star. Why is anyone surprised? The marriage was destined to fail before it began.

  13. cc

    “Can anyone imagine what this creature will look like when she’s in her 60s, 70s?”

    The cryptkeeper with tits? Speaking of tits, I think during the procedure the surgeon had a bottle of Jim Beam (her payment for the surgery) in one hand . I shudder to think what he put in there…two glad blags full of kitty litter is my guess.

    “My word, it’ll be like seeing the comic page after it went through the garbage disposal.”

    That’s a fuckin’ classic right there.

    Ah yes, a forehead tattoo, well at least she can cover it with her bangs. That’s the only positive thing I can say…I had to work for that.

  14. boomrpup

    Is that jizz-spray all over her chest. I can see that. You can blow me, but keep your hands off me or I’ll punch you on the top of your head. Stop look looking at me!!! (punch).

  15. captain america

    cheating is similar to americans.

  16. pickler

    She’s fuckin gross. I wouldn’t be able to perform with her cause I’d be so preoccupied with which STD’s I was contracting.

  17. EGJ

    Typical guy kneejerk reaction to a woman’s success. He felt threatened/less of a man because she got an oscar nomination, so he sleeps with someone he has absolutely no way of falling for, and also someone socially beneath him (so he can feel superior)

  18. Dick Tree

    The only thing hot about her is… well… Nothing.


  19. Ilan Ben Menachem

    I think she is in always sexy mood.

  20. Lenny

    Not only are the tats horrible to look at. The boob job looks like a do it yourself tit kit. God, why does a person do this to their body I will never know. I guess I’m old and don’t get it. However, it looks sooooo bad on levels no one could say. That marriage is sooooo over, there won’t be any getting back together for these two.

  21. zuzuspetals

    I hope Jennifer Aniston will give Sandra Bullock a call- because she too knows what it’s like to find out her husband has been sleeping with a deranged tattoo-ed whore.
    I just hope Sandra won’t have to suffer the same fate Jennifer has for the past five years and have to have her name endlessly linked to the colossal idiot Jesse James and the ugly bitch he cheated with.

  22. black jesus

    get ready for the Nazi pictures of this bitch – they are on the way

  23. Parker

    Her ass looks more appealing when it’s pointed at the ceiling. Also her face looks better with the sunglasses.

  24. I don’t want to just from her appearance but I think she is not beautiful. Her tattoos doesn’t make her hot either though she has a body.
    I feel sorry for Sandra.

  25. joho777

    So this pig is bipolar AND a nazi, what a surprise!

    And she calls Sandra’s stupid husband, “Gorilla Dick.” I hope that is how he will be remembered.

    Why do these lame guys use a press release to apoligize?? Tiger Woods did that, too.

    I don’t blame Tiger’s wife Elin trying to give Tiger a lobotomy with a golf club. Good for her!

  26. Burt

    “Why do these lame guys use a press release to apoligize?? Tiger Woods did that, too. ”

    It’s not an apology to his wife, it’s damage control for his image.

  27. can’t make my mind up if I like it or loathe it

  28. Hotmom

    The tits are not bad. I don’t know what you all were complaining about. The face and neck tattoo’s scream” Daddy didn’t care”. But, I can guarantee the tits were a train wreck before the Dr. got to them.

    He cheated with this girl because she is his equal. He was never good enough for Sandra and he knows it…..

  29. ANON

    I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry

  30. Dannii

    @Jeremiah, its not that women cant figure out, they are bombared from a young age that they are not good enough physically and hense go after surgery to make themselves “better”. just look at heidi :(

  31. morons

    He cheated with this girl, because she has a PENIS.

  32. General Akbar

    Eww! This woman is repulsive looking. Just looking at her makes me want to get tested for any diseases. Disgusting trash.

  33. cc

    She’s got a future in horror, like some shitty Rob Zombie movie.

    You know the typical scene where they are looking through a darkened room with a flashlight and suddenly it shines on something that scares the poop out ot them? Take a look at pic 14, for example, and tell me that wouldn’t be a perfect set piece for a scene like that.

  34. J-Bo

    has anyone even noticed all the jizz like substance on her chest and belly?
    Looks like the boys from Monster garage did a semen oil change on her abdomen. I’d hit Jese james before got my penis near her.

  35. She’s only got bolted on boobs andt those fugly feet.

  36. bunny

    Some of you chicks on here are so prudish, I don’t get it.

    Jesse James is fucking good looking. Go ahead and hate yourself but he is every thing we girls like at a visceral level. He’s a bad boy with a big dick…. come on ladies. He was by far the hottest dude at that douchebag fest called the Oscars. Sandra Bullock seems like a sweet girl but she is just fucking average. I do feel bad for her though… she tried to make it work.

    I don’t do married men, but I’d happily tote a bottle of tequila and my chanel bag full of condoms into Monster Garage and fuck Jesse allover his bikes.

    Don’t give me this shit about how “disgusting” and “icky” Jesse is.

  37. Dan

    Too bad, she would be really hot if it weren’t for the tattoos and fake boobs.

  38. faded

    When did Marilyn Manson get huge tits and all those ugly tattoos?

  39. god damn, this woman is a monstrosity!

  40. WTF

    People who get facial tattoos pretty mush figure “I’ve gone as far in life as I’m going to”; then they take 2 steps back,

  41. WTF

    People who get facial tattoos pretty much figure “I’ve gone as far in life as I’m going to”; then they take 2 steps back,

  42. Amy

    I know it makes for great fun to write about, but my heart breaks for Sandra … especially after the recent comment that Jesse was the first man she felt “had her back.” I feel her pain.

  43. MIckey71406

    I have serious doubts that this “woman” has a uterus or ovaries! PP has obviously taken the circus aspect of the titty-bar business to new extremes since I lived in San Diego! This is a screwed-up freak. Jesse James is obviously a moron!!! Pack up and run for the nearest exit Sandra.

  44. Apostate

    Looking at this trailer trash harlequin for longer than ten minutes really makes it difficult to keep my stomach contents in….I’m outta here.

  45. Pleaseeeeeeeeee Remove the stars see very good looks

  46. The sad part is the timing of the incident. Sandra just won an Academy award and now you would think her winning is the what is making headline news but sadly it’s not. I wonder if this is the only time he as had an affair or is this just another celebrity just like Tiger who will be found in the upcoming months to have more affairs with other women. I feel sad for Sandra who now has all this unnecessary negative attention

  47. Thanks for such a great post and the review, I am totally impressed! Keep stuff like this coming.
    funny jokes

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