Jesse James is Getting Used

August 19th, 2010 // 52 Comments

So I’ve been trying to figure out why the hell Kat Von D would tweet that she’s dating Jesse James only to “delete it” in a way that still made it visible to the entire Internet. Then I found out the fourth season of her show premiered last Wednesday right before she was conveniently spotted with Vanilla Gorilla in Vegas over the weekend and it all made sense. Also, Kat just used the accompanying press to announce she’s starting a band so there you have it.

Now I don’t know why any of this would seem depressing to Jesse James considering the Nazi he stuck his penis in got her own reality show out of the deal. Unless, of course, he’s not getting laid because Kat’s secretly banging a Jewish guy and everyone laughs at the delicious irony. Except Mel Gibson who mostly just starts angrily kicking a can down the sidewalk and punching the air.

EDIT: As I was writing this post, Kat Von D apparently went on KROQ and announced their relationship while talking about her show which either proves my theory above, or that she’s the one stealing pies out of my window sill while reading over my shoulder. Dammit, Kat, the rhubarb? C’mon.

Photos: WENN

superficial

  1. Vandal

    Foist.

    And this is a tranny. The end.

  2. Kat Von D
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The “fashions” displayed in this photo give gays & lesbians a bad name.
    She looks like a paint factory struck by lightning.

  3. Taz

    I would not hit that. Maybe with a bat.

  4. Snaggletooth

    Or maybe, just maybe, that lightning bolt on her knuckle, means that she and Jesse will get married by Mel and have little Hitler children…

  5. supashan

    LOL! Hopefully a BIG bat!

  6. Lib

    That outfit and hair could hurt someones eyes. He has sick taste in women.

  7. RoboZombie

    I’m guessing this redheaded guy’s real name is Tucker Wang.
    Get it? Tuck Her Wang?See, it means “she’s” really a guy who has to…Oh never mind.
    She’s ugly.

    • anonymous

      if you have to explain it – it probably wasn’t funny to begin with…wish Dennis Miller would figure it out.

      • RoboZombie

        Maybe I shoulda used “Tucker Johnson”.
        HA! I said Johnson

      • Minnie

        It’s funny because it’s true
        Sometimes true things are funny, too
        (What rhymes with too?)
        I bet Jesse James wants to smell her poo

        Okay, I give up.

  8. LACoolKid

    She is a total idiot. Immature and no talent. I remember when she was featured on American Chopper to tattoo one of the guys (the price you pay when you have Netflix and a chopper obsessed BF), and she told them if they didn’t know what they wanted they obviously had the wrong shop, she could not help them. Go back to hell you worthless brand whore B**CH and lay off the testosterone you sound like The Godfather!

  9. Kat Von D
    stinky mcpoop
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Jesse. He should have read the disclaimer tattooed on the back of her head.

  10. Kat Von D
    sasha
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is this guy?

  11. Kat Von D
    Obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Sure she’s using him for publicity, and he’s using her for the fish taco. It’s a trade off.

  12. Kat Von D
    kakapoopoopeepeeshire
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is she wearing?! NASTY feet too!

  13. Kat Von D
    Commented on this photo:

    like her thighs but her face reminds me of some dude i hang with

  14. TAB

    What is she imitating Wonder Woman all of a sudden?! LOSE the bad wig already!

  15. Deacon Jones

    Her trashy ass can use me man

  16. Turd Ferguson

    Man, I bet she looks scary naked.
    Like sleeping with MapQuest. Acck.

  17. anonymous

    never understood her appeal. saw one episode of her show and the entire thing was about faking drama for drama’s sake. Hell of a tattoo artist though….

  18. Kat Von D
    D-CON
    Commented on this photo:

    The Kat is Fat. Look at those jiggly thunder thighs & chubby face.

    Low self esteem = puts out often & indiscriminately.

  19. Evil

    Is it a Neo-Nazi band? Because if not it still makes no sense.

  20. Jen

    i dont give a shit. do you give a shit?

  21. Randal

    I would hit that.
    With a shovel.
    Til it stopped moving.

  22. Bunny

    Sorry, but I’d hit the Vanilla Gorilla any day. White guy with a big dick-it’s a go.

  23. cara

    I think Bullock’s behind all of this. If white gorilla is “hooked” up with another, then she can rekindle with him, behind the scenes, and still maintain America’s sweetheart image. I’d bet anything that the three of them are all buds and planned this together.

    • I 100 % agree with you on this. Remember that People-interview she did where she unveiled the kid she supposedly had had since January? (three senior editors from People quit shortly after that, I wonder why…) In it she said that she would personally do every diaper change herself. Cue to her having a live in, fulltime nanny now, Ann Marie Caraher. Lying bitch.

      About the only karmic justice in all this for her is the fact that she can no longer afford to be seen publicly with the love of her life.

  24. Frobs

    Oh look, it’s one of those “inked girls” who wants to be taken seriously despite looking like a gutter cat. Rule #1 folks, tattoos eliminate any right to be taken seriously.

  25. Kat Von D
    jsepeta
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m not sure i’d fuck her with steven tyler’s dick. or pussy, i can never tell.

  26. Liberal Hater

    I actually got sucked into a couple episodes last night. As I sat on my couch I thought to myself if I was supposed to be sexually attracted to this girl. Then I thought to myself…she seems to have a nice body, but I’m having a really hard time getting by the whole paint by number thing she has going on all over it. Plus she kinda sounds like a man. I wonder if all that ink she’s got messes up her woman shit.
    However, the kicker was that she was dating Nikki Sixx. Now I know Nikki and that dude ain’t no fagula…so she’s gotta be hot…to him at least. Unless he is just looking for some publicity and I guess with Nikki, that would kind of make sense.

  27. Id

    I remember when she was a fatty pissing off most of South beach with her nasty attitude. She is total trash.

  28. Woodcock

    She is beautiful, don’t get me wrong, a little laser removal(ok, a lot) and some basic social graces and I would be so down for being kat von d’s beard(as it stands I feel like any relationship with her involves a lot of getting f’d in da a….but I digress….As a lover of tattoos, even tho I don’t have any, She has gone from being the “fuck this shit, i’m just a guess star, to a full on fame whore….it’s depressing really. But hey Kat, if you read this, I want a full sleeve, just not at the prices you quoted me when La Ink was that hot shit…

  29. Me

    I’m not usually into the tattooed, pierced, goth/punk girls, but she ain’t bad. She’s not the girlfriend type, but i bet she bangs like a pro.

  30. Kat Von D
    BWC
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll erase those tattoos with my potent white-out. Skeet skeet skeet!

  31. The Truth

    Coyote ugly!

  32. Lil

    Kat Von D = tattooed whore, who’da thunk it

  33. FamousPlastic.com

    How does someone that likes to bang tattooed up sluts end up married to Sandra Bullock?

  34. DEATH BY STONING IN HOLLYWOOD

    LOOKING GREAT COVERED KEEP IT COVERED

  35. me

    He sure likes tattooed freaky girls.

  36. Kat Von D
    Malewhore
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll hit that with the lights off!!!
    But wait… mmmm I would have to stuff her mouth first cause her voice is too deep! Can you imagen her screaming “Yeah fuck me!” with a Vader voice?

  37. Kat Von D
    Kristin
    Commented on this photo:

    damn no ass at all

  38. captain america

    yep, HE IS USED AS A PLUMBER!!

  39. noooooooooo

    shes so sexy, thats so disappointing.

  40. Kat Von D
    hillary
    Commented on this photo:

    she doesn’t deserve to wear mcqueen!

  41. Kat Von D
    pump shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    so much work and money and yet theres nothing special

  42. Kat Von D
    bort
    Commented on this photo:

    i want fish taco!

  43. Spacin Jason

    She dyed her hair fat girl red….So-cal trend all the fattest (200lbs+) rockabilly chicks dye their hair that color. Kat Von D should name her band The Rotten Herpe Cooches with all the washed up trash she has been banging. Hey Dog..I mean Kat I hear Mickey Rourke is looking for a good time. Only a matter of time before she goes down fat-Mexican in the custom fitted extra wide recliner road.

  44. Kat Von D
    Dork
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she got her nose done. sellout

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