Jesse James Crawled Out Of Obscurity. It Didn’t Go Well.

Remember Jesse James? He was the dude who banged a nazi stripper while married to Sandra Bullock, then cheated on Kat Von D with 19 other women before disappearing off the face of the Earth — Moving to Texas counts as that, right? — for four years. Well, I guess he’s ready to be famous again, because he’s giving interviews now, and he probably shouldn’t do that. Especially since he’s inexplicably married again and saying shit like “Cheating is a part of life.” Yep. Via Daily Mail:

The 47-year-old, who is still targeted on social media over the affair, added: ‘The easy [put down] is like, oh well you cheated on Sandra Bullock. That’s the world’s easiest comeback.

In general, both women and men cheat. It’s part of life.

He continued: ‘It’s like people love to see you fall. And the farther you get, the higher you get, the more they love it.

‘I look at myself now and I look at how I was feeling then, and I think I was completely overreacting as far as letting it really get to me.

No, your instinct to retreat to Texas and start making guns is precisely what you needed to do. You couldn’t have made a more perfect life choice if you’d have opened a tattoo shop that only inks swastikas on women with self-esteem issues. Jesse also took this opportunity to voice his support of Trump, showering the leader of the pee world with compliments like:

“I thought, even if he’s not my friend or nothing, it’s kind of bad a** we have a president who can take someone and entertain and probably get that guy to pay more for us to defend them – that’s how it’s done.

‘That’s how they do sales meetings – they say let’s go out for dinner and they’ll get the buyer to pay more and that’s how it’s done. I don’t know if Obama was cut out for that.”

Wait, wasn’t Obama was a terrible, manipulative liar that nobody could trust? But anyway, how’s that whole gun business doing?

The ‘glorified welder’ says he is in the process of making a gun as a gift for President Trump. He said: “I’m just not sure how I’m going to get it to him. I asked his people and they don’t know either. They only just started this stuff so I guess they’re still getting things figured out.”

There you have it, folks. The pornstar-fucking motorcycle douche just let us all know that the clueless moron in charge of our nuclear arsenal doesn’t have the slightest inkling as to how he would receive a firearm as a gift. So much for surrounding himself with smart people who will make sure he doesn’t fuck everything up, rig– *gets vaporized by Kellyanne Conway thinking she’s microwaving a burrito*

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Photo: Getty, Ouzounova/Splash News