Jesse James and Kat Von D Announce Their Engagement

January 20th, 2011 // 95 Comments

Because clearly he’s an idiot for reasons too numerous to count here, Jesse James has officially announced his engagement to Kat Von D, but not before showing up at a high-profile event an entire week ago with a rock on Kat’s finger. So, my, what a complete surprise. People reports:

“You know sometimes the public and press gets it wrong. This is one of those times. 2010 was actually the best year of my life because I fell in love with my best friend. An amazing woman who stood behind me when the world turned their backs,” James tells PEOPLE exclusively. “I have never met anyone so kind and loving and committed to making the world a better place every day. My love for her is beyond description. So honored that she said ‘yes.’ Growing old with her is going to be a f—-n’ blast!”

2010 was “the best year of my life.” Jesus Christ. Did Jesse James seriously just say that? 2010, the year where it was revealed he gratuitously cheated on Sandra Bullock with multiple women – and whatever this is – was the best year of his life? Okay, maybe it was because it sounds like the guy had all kinds of crazy sex, but you don’t say that shit out loud to People magazine unless you’re some sort of moron who bangs Naz-

Never mind.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Bucky Barnes

    Best wishes to Mr. Douche and Mrs. Bag. Seig Heil!

  2. That Guy

    She’ll tattoo his Ding Dong.

    • Bucky Barnes

      Probably a good idea to nail it to the floor first so it doesn’t move.

    • Maya

      It’s already tattooed it reads “Your Name,” so whenever he meets a chick he can tell them that he has their name tattooed on his dick and then whips it out for proof. I thought everyone knew that about him already.

  3. Jas

    OMG… no words…

  4. Lady Blah Blah

    I wonder if when banging Kat Von D he fantasizes about banging Michelle “Bombshell” McGee and thinks, ‘If only Kat’s face was covered with tats.’

    • Howard Huge

      Kat actually makes Bombshell look better by camparison. He’s working his way down the ladder. This can’t end well…
      (News Flash… Jesse James arrested while having intercourse with a pot-bellied pig in a petting zoo.)

    • Facebook me

      Kat has stars tattooed on the left side of her face, on her temple area.

  5. Yeezy's Son

    And I just took a crap this morning. Which is similar to this announcements because both events involve 2 pieces of sh*t.

  6. nonminti

    “My love for her is beyond description”..yeah..well his kind of love has nothing to do with definition of love,truly beyond.

  7. Baron Bleeke

    this will be hysterically ironic in 2.5yrs when they break up.

    lets see, this will be jesse’s what, 3rd marriage? 4th?

  8. Where is Robert Ford now?

  9. mj

    Oh, how shocking. /sarcasm
    Where are the interesting posts? Another website?

  10. This should really help Jesse save money on tattoos. It’s actually very sly of him.

  11. GravyLeg

    Who wrote his image recovery playbook? Get engaged to a tattoo covered media whore who reminds everyone of the NAZI tattoo covered media whore you cheated on your Oscar winning wife with? Really?

  12. Turd Ferguson

    “I have never met anyone so kind and loving and committed to making the world a better place every day.”

    Didn’t he say that shit about Bullock, too? Hilarious.
    I see a huge money making opportunity for some Laser tattoo removal guy – each of these asshats must have at least 2-3 old lovers names plastered to their pathetic bodies somewhere that need hiding .

  13. Kelley

    My first response to this post was to laugh !!!

  14. mamamiasweetpeaches

    He must be a real dynamo in the sack cuz he is fug ugly. How does he keep foolin these women into goin home with him????

  15. Steelerchick

    The 2 douches belong together!!!

  16. shilla

    cheating will start in 3…2…1…

  17. Somehow, you just KNOW there’s a some kind of horrible tattoo right above her vag.

  18. Andriiya

    “Growing old with her is going to be a f—-n’ blast!” By growing old he means getting one or two years older then dumbing her as soon as he finds some chick with Hitler’s face tattooed around her snatch, right?

  19. Tyler Perry

    He should have just married this girl in the first place, this is clearly the type of person someone like Jesse James belongs with. Sandra Bullock was clearly out of his league, and she was just “slumming it” so that was a mismatch to begin with. Would have saved him a lot of public humiliation.

    • Him?, no her, it would have saved her public humiliation. He would need to care and feel shame in order to feel humiliation.
      But these two do look good together.

  20. Somewhere today, Sandra Bullock is quietly telling herself that she is EXACTLY as stupid as everyone told her she was when she married Jesse.

  21. Beatrice Beasley

    He clearly has had enough time to resolve whatever issues led him to cheat on Sandra in the first place. And by “clearly” I mean, I wonder how many different diseases he has, and has he given them to Kat yet, or is he saving that for the honeymoon?

  22. FFS

    What a pathetic, arrogant fucking asshole. The fact that he continues to boohoo about his getting busted being a cheating scumbag, as if he was somehow wronged, is a huge warning sign. What was he expecting, for everyone to side with him? “An amazing woman who stood behind me when the world turned their backs” translation – “a naive woman with low self-esteem who can’t see me for what I am, and was willing to stroke my fragile little ego when everyone else was calling me on my shit.” When he cheats on her, I’m not going to feel an ounce of sympathy.

    • GravyLeg

      Welcome to the world of a textbook narcissist.

    • Lady Blah Blah

      Great analysis.

    • I don’t think Jesse knows the word “narcissist”. Or the word “textbook” for that matter.

      I don’t see why all the hating on Jesse though. He is what he is, and what he is should be obvious to everyone. Sandra Bullock bought and paid for her E-ticket ride and it went exactly as she should have, and we all DID expect.

      The only really amusing part is Jesse acting like THIS one is the real deal…not the porn star he married before, or the prissy actress…NOW he’s got the real deal. He’s gonna get busted cheating again in no time, it’s just who he is and he should take a page from Charlie Sheen and own it.

  23. Gavin S.

    How many times is this retard going to get married? Jeez, he must have mommy issues.

  24. Rancid

    To any girl reading this – don’t get tats. Just don’t. Why the fuck do you want to look like some biker skank?

    Seriously, this c u next Tuesday looks like she scribbled all over herself with a fucking ball point pen. We used to do that in grade school when we were bored.

    • Facebook me

      Getting a few tasteful tats is one thing, but to look like a Marvel comic book is another..

      • true. But the problem is “tasteful” and “tattoo” don’t go together. It’s like saying a chick acting in a few porn movies is ok, as long as she doesn’t do too many.

    • Drew

      You don’t like tattoo’s. Good for you. Do you want a gold star or something?

      Tattoo’s are a personal preference, and nobody should ever get them (or not get them) based on what some random twat on the internet says. Is ignorance really bliss? Or is just an overused expression?

      • Drew

        McFeely, do you ever get tired of trolling these posts and wasting space with your garbage opinions and retarded analogies?

      • Rancid

        If ignorance is bliss, you must be in nirvana.

      • Paul

        Then why are they all the same. Every five years the tats that people get are not unique, but just the style of the day. For example, the placement always changes from boobs, to lower back, to upper arm, and then the designs regurgitate themselves with stencils, cartoons, tribal, barbwire, action hero, roses, etc….. Tats should be made of ink that disappears every ten years, so if you still like the same style of design you can keep it, redo it, have the choice to change the design, or have it fade into nothing. Meaning that someday some really smart geek with come up with an ink that lasts at least 10 years and then disappears. We all need a choice, now I think I’m going to announce my candidacy for president of the US.

      • Grammar Bunny

        Apostrophe FAIL!

    • michiez

      i wouldnt change all my tattoos for anything. i love them

      • M

        Um, I’m sorry… You can’t equate a few tattoos on a woman’s body to porn movies. That’s just ignorant. I have just one on my arm, and nearly everyone that sees it loves it.

  25. LOL@people

    Women like Kat Von D, and sorry to say, but Sandra Bullock as well, are the reasons why guys like Jesse James aka douches, can continue to be scumbags, because no matter how many times they get dumped or humiliated for their actions, there is always the next attractive poor sap of a person ready to pick up the pieces and swear that “I am the one who will change him” It can’t be the sex, cause quite frankly you can easily find someone good in the sack with the sheer amount of bachelor’s out there.

    I feel a little bad for Bullock, but when you look at the bigger picture, she was the one who decided to date and marry a guy who had knocked up a porn star, and if I remember correctly, he wasn’t even officially divorced when they started dating, so Bullock sort of had it coming to, but even after all that, here comes Kat Von D, willing to I guess get a lobotomy in order to forget that this guy is a true POS.

    • Go away famewhores

      Yup. I also think Sandra must have known about his nazi fetish but looked the other way. She really did have it coming.

  26. Jesse James Kat Von D Engaged
    I'm on my Period.
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she have no shame??

  27. Smiley

    Mr and Mrs Gross and Disgusting, lovely.

    Can someone please let Mrs G & D in on a little thing called lypo! Or tell her to suck that damn gut in already!!

  28. Elle

    I can see them getting old together, except in my mind they look like melted Crayons.

  29. Jesse James Kat Von D Engaged
    sasha
    Commented on this photo:

    why does he always look like someone hit him on the head with a brick?

  30. Reggie Rhino

    This idiot should just marry a canvas and be done with it! I bet he can’t get it up without artwork staring him in the face because bare skin is just so unattractive!

  31. ick-abod

    looks like she’s about to do a scooby doo reveal and pull her mask off. I bet it’s actually old man Withers from the amusement park.

  32. Jesse James Kat Von D Engaged
    Tony Y
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re on the announcements page of the newspaper but I’d rather see them in the obituaries.

  33. Manny

    LA Ink sucked anyways.

  34. Maya

    I’m so happy for the two human pin cushions that I could just spit!

  35. Dear Robert Ford Wilson, you were clearly brought her for a reason.

  36. Jesse James Kat Von D Engaged
    g-to-the-a
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Cher get so many tats?

  37. eophus

    DICK!

  38. LJ

    Two D-List celebrities, a match made for Biker rallies.

    I guess she’s just the type of woman who doesn’t really give a fuck who he’s dipping into so long as he come home on some of the nights.

    She doesn’t do porn, and isn’t a stripper, so while it is an entire flight down from Ms Bullock, it is at least a step up from his norm……

  39. timmy the dying boy

    If they ever do a sex tape, it’ll look just like a cartoon.

  40. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    I demand that this man be castrated. What an unbelievable scumbag!

  41. Jesse James Kat Von D Engaged
    Kelly
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s so hot

  42. Jesse James Kat Von D Engaged
    ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.ssssssssssssssssssss
    Commented on this photo:

    Does anyone else see Michael Jackson when looking at her?

  43. I got a good feeling about this

  44. Go away famewhores

    These two nazi lovers are perfect for each other. Hopefully Sandra is breathing a sigh of relief that he won’t be hounding her day and night to get back together. I give this another 6 months before they break-up btw.

  45. anonym

    oh boy.

    these two are gonna make some ugly babies.

    their faces don’t match well.

  46. Jesse James Kat Von D Engaged
    DouchBag Finder
    Commented on this photo:

    These two scumbags deserve each other. Then again, “America’s Sweetheart” (aka Sandra Bullcock) got exactly what she deserved during her time with this low-life. It seems that Ms. Bullcock is a bit of a home wrecker herself…

    Ahhhh, Hollywood, would someone please pull the plug on that cesspool already????

  47. Xenu will probe u

    That is 1 ugly fucking dirty bitch and who the fuck calls their kid “Jesse James”?? lol fucking rednecks had no tv….

  48. uncle bill

    the next step?
    …………..A MISCARRIAGE, folks!!

  49. Natasha

    They are engaged alright.. in a fierce battle with genital warts

  50. Jesse James Kat Von D Engaged
    nano
    Commented on this photo:

    the first thing that comes to mind when I saw this pic is,… is he autistic? he looks like one. And he sounds like one. Can anybody with some knowledge on autism comment on this?

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