Jesse Eisenberg Just Made Mel Gibson a Very Happy Man

February 9th, 2011 // 82 Comments

I feel like when I was 13 and I had to go to bar mitzvahs every weekend. This is the same feeling. You have to put on a suit every weekend to go meet with a bunch of Jews.”

- Jesse Eisenberg describing awards season and inadvertently admitting Hollywood is run by Jews much to the delight of Mel Gibson, who presumably grew an erection, then nailed it to a cross. “I told ‘em, boner, but they just wouldn’t listen. Now BLOW ME. Oh, right.”

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. gogo

    FIRSTTT!!!

  2. ARGH

    Hmm…Eisenberg…must be an antisemitic.

  3. no, it’s like 30 bankers who run everything… oh wait–

  4. Cock Dr

    I think he’s allowed to say stuff like that, because he’s Jewish.
    Similiar to the unwritten rule that only African Americans can use the “N” word.

    • IttyBittyTittyCommittee

      Nougat??

    • Zanny the Nanny

      That’s how Dr. Laura got fired. Using the statement ‘”N” Word’ is OK, but actually saying the whole word out loud in NOT OK. They both really are the same, but for some reason one is not as offensive as the other, kind of like spelling out words around children.
      Unless you are a black male, and then you can say the whole word like an endearing term when meeting another black male that you already know, it replaces the word “Bro” or “Baby”, if you are any other species you must never do this… by saying the whole word or Baby or Bro you will fired, spat on, beat up by your mother…

  5. RandaI

    Orange Jews, apple Jews, grapefruit Jews… they’re all just deliciously fruity.

  6. Alan Smithee

    Imagine, Eisenberg (jew) talking about hollywood bigshots (jews) to a bunch of slack-jawed yokels (wasps) and hair-gelled beefcakes (wops), not to mention the uneducated, unemployed layabouts with criminal records (Lindey Lohan).

  7. Deacon Jones

    Hey, just read the credits after any show/movie you watch, and you ahve a 60% chance of seeing the following portion/combo of surname:

    Gold, Stein, Ruben, Berg, Man, Eisen, Silver, Cash, Ein, Berger, Rosen, etc, etc

    • taco flavored kisses

      …don’t forget Perry

    • Fartblossum

      Cash? Didn’t know that was a jewish name. Does that mean Johnny Cash was jewish?

      • Mortimer Duke

        Of course. A Boy Named Sue was about litigation.

      • Yeezy's Son

        Johnny Cash was NOT Jewish. From Wikipedia:
        “Cash learned, upon researching his ancestry, that he was of Scottish royal descent.[37] After the opportunity of meeting with former Falkland, Fife laird, Major Michael Crichton-Stuart, he traced the Cash family tree to 11th-century Fife, Scotland.[38][39][40] Scotland’s Cash Loch bears the name of his family.[38] “

      • Mortimer Duke

        Yeezy, your response is predicated on someone who does not know Johnny Cash or his music and someone who does not understand sarcasm.

        We all fucking know Johnny Cash was not Jewish and we did not need to wikipedia it.

      • Yeezy's Son

        My bad. Got a little carried away. I should’ve picked up on the sarcasm

      • Mortimer, that “Boy Named Sue” post was perfect – I know that’s the funniest thing I’m ever gonna read today!
        (Yeezy’s Son is already checking the wiki to see if this’s true…)

      • Deacon Jones

        “cash” as in “Cashman” as in the Yankees GM Brian Cashman.

        Oh, and I forgot “green”

        Isn’t it funny, that Jewish people decry stereotypes about them, but their last names literally revolve around:

        1 – Precious metals “Goldman, Silverberg, Copperfeld”
        2 – Jewels – “Ruby, Ruben, Diamond”
        3 – actual money! – “Cashman, Greenman, etc”

    • Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

      • Mortimer Duke

        Thank you @ Just.

      • Deacon, you’re a moron. A “Ruben” is not a jewel, and no, it doesn’t mean “Ruby”. “Ruby” and “Diamond” are not “Jewish” last names, and neither is “Copperfeld”. As for “actual money!” last names – “cash” and “green” are American slang, so I’d love to see your reasoning as to how they became reverse engineered for European Jewry after the diaspora. (Especially since “cash” comes from the Chinese.) And your speculation on “Cashman” would be of interest to my Irish ancestors, none of whom are, predictably, Jewish.

        Since you’re obviously a big fan of the post hoc fallacy, let me disabuse you of the notion that the reason Jews are associated with gems, and that some Jewish names that have Gold and Silver in them is solely due to the fact that they’re so mercenary and money-grubbing that they chose those names to act like a magnet. Many European surnames you see today are “guild” or trade names. Check out Tinker, Tailor, Goldsmith, Smith, Mason – all those described a specific profession.
        Jews weren’t allowed to join guilds or have a profession, just like they weren’t allowed to own land, so they were pushed into marginal work that no one wanted – like rent and tax collecting. Everybody loves the tax man, right? So even though he’s not collecting for himself, he’s hated – and doubly so if he’s not of your religion.

        Christians couldn’t practice usury, or lending money with interest, because they’d be denied sacraments and a proper burial. Jewish law only prohibits charging fellow Jews interest on a loan. Christian rulers imposed harsh financial burdens on Jewish communities, so they lent money at interest to meet that burden, and became even more hated.

        The one other thing Jews did that no one else could do is assess and polish diamonds – first, because they were used as collateral for loans, and later, to ensure their survival. When your life depends on the whim of whatever Christian authority you happen to be living under, you have to not only find a way to survive the next pogrom, you have to try and make your existance an asset. During the Middle Ages, diamonds came from India and usually passed through Jewish traders in the Ottoman Empire, who then resold them to fellow Jews in Europe, since no Christian would trade with an Arab. So if you’re a king or a count or a doge and want to deck yourself in precious stones to assert your supremacy, you didn’t kill off all the Jews in your vicinity because you’ll cut off your source to precious stones.

        So that’s the association. So no, it isn’t funny how the stereotype you’re trying to perpetuate by your “reasoning” is really just a reflection of the professions that they were forced into.
        Becaause seriously – Ruby? Copperfeld? Jeez, Hawthorne’s Hester Prynne named her daughter “Pearl” – she must have been Jewish!!

      • Plobes

        In the 1700s and 1800s, European Jews were forced to change their surnames, many of which were Slavic or Hebrew, to better “assimilate” into European culture–a lot of the silly nonsense names Jews have today (Zuckerberg–sugar mountain–Goldstein, Silverberg, Rosenfeld, Goldenblatt, etc, etc, were imposed on them to make them objects of ridicule and derision
        –Some of the Jews got to choose their new surnames–others had these silly monikers forced upon them

        those names are NOT real Jewish names

      • “Justifiable” has much energy today.

      • Deacon Jones

        Oh, that’s right! I almost forgot – “Pearlman”!

        And while “David Copperfield” is a made up stage name, the actual surname exists.

      • Frank – that’s because “Justifiable” has much willful ignorance to be annoyed about.

        Deacon, “Copperfield” may exist as a surname, but it isn’t Jewish simply because it includes a metal. David Kotkin ripped off his stage name from the novel by Charles Dickens – who, FYI, didn’t entitle his other equally famous novel, “Oliver Twistberg”.

      • Yeezy's Son

        @ justifiable – nice run down on the origin on names. I remember learning some of that when study the historical background behind The Merchant of Venice back in high school literature.

  8. Compound9

    Ummm. Eisenburg… My lawyer has that last name, and my Accountant.

  9. Bucky Barnes

    When he was 13? That was like, 5 minutes ago…
    I have nothing against people of any race or religion, I just hate EVERYONE who is younger than me.

  10. That Guy

    Oy Vey.

  11. How did “Jews run hollywood” become some kind of antisemitic slur? I mean even if we ignore the fact that every major studio is headed by a Jewish man, where is the insult?

    How far down the political correctness road do we have to go before it’s offensive to say things that are neither offensive, nor incorrect?

    • Zanny the Nanny

      Stating the obvious fact in Hollywood will get you fired, and you’ll never work in that town again. Good luck to him, Jewish or not, but again why is almost everyone in Hollywood Jewish, anyway?

  12. Robin

    In Nazi Germany, many people felt that Jews were “over-represented” in certain professions, out of proportion to their numbers. One of the stepping stones to the Holocaust was the forcible removal of Jews from certain professions (e.g., Jewish teachers were expelled from universities). So when someone who is not Jewish says something to the effect that “Jews control Hollywood” or “Hollywood is run by Jews,” and says it in such a way that one can easily infer that they really don’t like the number of Jews in the motion picture industry (or we can infer that because of who the speaker is, e.g., Mel Gibson), it is not the same as when someone such as Jesse Eisenberg makes a joke about putting on a suit every weekend “to go meet with a bunch of Jews.”

    • i'm a jew

      ^ this

      • Cindy Elmwood

        Yes, ^This. And I’m not a Jew. I guess you could say Jews run Hollywood, but it shouldn’t be considered a problem. Christians run most of the rest of the country, BFD.

      • Johnny Cage

        Correction, Freemasons run the rest of the country. The only thing I see Christians in the monopoly of are missionary and foreign charity groups.

  13. Anon

    Didn’t Marlon Brando get ostracized for saying the same [true] thing?

  14. jojo

    He might as well of said he likes to breathe , eat and shit everyday. All 4 things are as obvious.

  15. You don’t get to 500 million friends without making a few meshugener.

  16. slappy magoo

    I think it helps that Jesse didn’t scream it at the top of his lungs while donning a bad disguise and refusing to take a breathalyzer.

  17. BarneyFrank

    So by making the observation that Hollyweird is full of Jews he is anti-semetic? So by making an apt observation he should be ridiculed? What a fascist nation we live in.

  18. Geez I always thought he wasjust ugly from far away, but now I know he’s ugly close-up TOO…

  19. seth rogen's vagina

    Who is this Eisenberg dude – I thought this was just Michael Cerra with a bad haircut?

  20. Ashton Kucher’s nerdy little brother never fits in anywhere.

    • Kutcher. Whatever.

      • HA!!! Yet another Jew. What? He’s got a K, and a CH, and, like, an “ER” in his name… that’s clearly Jewish!!!
        Jews, Jews everywhere…, them’s all over Hollywood!!!
        De Niro, Schwarzenegger, Washington, Pacino, Snipes, Willis, Pitt, Roberts, Perry, Banderas, Houston, McConaughey, Stallone, Smith, Nicholson, Pesci, Aniston, Affleck, Cruise, Cameron, DiCaprio, Cruz, Buscemi, Clooney, LeBlanc, Sheen, Murphy, Elba, Hamm, Macey, Monaghan, Amurri, Grant, Hannigan, Voight, Sizemore, Azaria, MacDowell, Trejo, Damon, Macdonald, Postlewaithe, Jones, Favreau, Diaz, Sutherland, Carrey, Williams, Hanks, Nolte… CLEARLY Hebrew names, all of them I’m telling you!!!

  21. Emmy

    Out of the mouths of babes …. especially Jewish babes!!! Just an honest assessment right? Well taken further it could begin to acknowledge what some have DARED to imply —— when the Jews in power in Holly wood don’t like the implications of your movie, in terms of how it portrays their history — you could be “out”! Not right!!! Is Freedom of Speech now a “club”?
    Not defending Mel’s antics, but he could be a catalyst for a wake-up call to this “perceived” anti-sematic tidal wave.

    • It’s nothing of the kind, and Mel is a catalyst for nothing but his own well-deserved destruction. And it’s anti-Semitic, as in Semite, with an “i”. If you’re gonna be ridiculous, at least spell it right.

      “Freedom of speech” being a “club” has nothing to with this, and I wish for once that you and the rest of the ignoramuses out there would learn what it really means. The First Amendment guarantees the government can’t censor anything you say, write or publish – that’s it. What it doesn’t do is protect you from lawsuits or criticism or compel anyone to accept your opinion or watch your movie. So if you publish, write or film anything that deliberately and hatefully targets a specific group of people with the intent to cause harm, don’t get all huffy and beat the “you’re being intolerant” boo-hoo drum when people get their turn and speak out against you and your hateful message, or turn their backs on you within your industry.

      Big shock, FYI, nothing about “The Passion of the Christ” is representative of Jewish “history”, so that’s not what “Jews in power in Holly wood” objected to – you might as well claim that everyone who hated “Battleship Earth” was objecting to how earth history was portrayed. When Mel’s movie was in production he assured everyone it wasn’t anti-Semitic. However, Mel’s “source” material for the picture actually came from the mystic visions of a 19th century nun who didn’t have a problem condemning all Jews as Christ-killers – so the “history” you’re referring to isn’t history at all. Hell, it isn’t even representational of the Gospels, so anyone who hasn’t really read them but takes the movie at face value will have a really skewed view of what’s in them. Because if you think a Roman procurator ever allowed himself to be bullied by a Jewish high priest, you have no notion of how Rome ruled the ancient world. (Hint: it wasn’t accomplished by letting slaves and underlings dictate what their masters’ policy was going to be.)

      What Gibson released was a snuff film that blamed Jews for every aspect of the Crucifixion from the top down, and was about the most overtly anti-Semitic work seen since Julius Streicher went to press. The Conference of Catholic Bishops was disturbed because it would be seen as being a new endorsement of the old pre-Vat II Catholic anti-Semitism, and a lot of Catholic scholars condemned it.

      So when Mel was pulled over for a DUI and went on that little rant of his, it should come as no big surprise that a great many people didn’t buy the “In my true heart I’m not an anti-Semite” repentance routine. Maybe he should have said “brave” heart instead, huh? What the “Jews in power in Holly Wood” really despise is a hypocrite who fosters a hateful, harmful message and then tries to claim he’s not really that guy.

      “Not right!!??” Tough shit. Let him be a martyr to his chosen faith, then. And fuck him, too.

      • Jewstifiable. See what I mean? Everywhere, they’re fucking EVERYWHERE!!!

      • LOL, good one! Sorry to disappoint, but I’m actually Gentilefiable. Hey, blame the Catholic church and the Puritans if you don’t like how the power structure in Hollywood is skewed today. Outside of Passion Plays, the Church was down on playacting and dramatics for centuries. Acting troupes were considered the lowest form of scum because they were a form of entertainment and communication that the Church couldn’t control, and the more repressive Protestant sects saw them as hellbound sucklers of Satan’s spare teat. But Yiddish Theatre was strong in this country from the 1800s on – performing was encouraged, not damned, so there existed a cultural affinity for the performing arts that wasn’t found in other immigrant groups. You do the math for the rest of it. The culture supported the concept of the variety artist, vaudeville performer, and later on, film makers and actors. If you were a Jewish immigrant in the east coast, you were limited to employment opportunities and had no hope of breaking out of that mold. But if you went west…well, you could leave that repression behind and write your own ticket – and they did. They pretty much created the industry, so yeah, that’s why they represent today. Either deal with it or bitch-slap your local pastor or priest if you don’t like how things turned out.

  22. So he can laugh derogatorily, albeit essentially in a light hearted manner, at people in his own religion, GOOD! Political correctness has gone crazy and it seems you can’t barely say anything about anyone without committing a hate crime of some sort. As Heath Ledger’s Joker said: “why so serious?”.

  23. Nick4ca

    Why not just smoke a jeffrey? Cheaper than a therapist.

  24. Jesse Eisenberg
    allieb
    Commented on this photo:

    he´s so cute!

  25. Uber Geek

    I liked the movie “The Social Network” not a bunch of stupid same old Hollywood faces and the movie actually had a dialogue and a plot, not just computer editing tricks. Too bad, the US Gov’t didn’t bail the geeks out in the Crash of 2001, like they did the airline, auto industry, and the banks. Just look at the geeks now with all their new iPhone/iPad apps, and Microsoft is going tits up, and were not having to pay extra baggage and extra interest fees for better quality at all.

  26. highonlifexjm

    he is jewish. he’s allowed to say stuff like that.

  27. Me

    Jesse Eisenberg obviously is not an antisemitic since he is Jewish.

    Also: this is disgusting.

  28. Jewnicorns for ever

    Are you kidding me? God forbid the guy (who is 27 btw) makes a damn joke. Give him a freaking break. He’s nervous, isn’t used to this kind of attention, and is coping with it the only way he knows how. SO GET THE HELL OFF HIS BACK AND REALIZE HE HAS AS EVERY RIGHT TO BE THERE AS ANYONE, IF NOT MORE SO!
    Also, if he doesn’t win I’m going to be RIP SHIT!

  29. wim

    ……….PAEDOPHILES TOO?

  30. one legged

    even the jews can’t keep the Jews Run Hollywood away from all newspapers…

    http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-stein19-2008dec19,0,4676183.column

    How Jewish is Hollywood?
    A poll finds more Americans disagree with the statement that ‘Jews control Hollywood.’ But here’s one Jew who doesn’t.

    How deeply Jewish is Hollywood? When the studio chiefs took out a full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times a few weeks ago to demand that the Screen Actors Guild settle its contract, the open letter was signed by: News Corp. President Peter Chernin (Jewish), Paramount Pictures Chairman Brad Grey (Jewish), Walt Disney Co. Chief Executive Robert Iger (Jewish), Sony Pictures Chairman Michael Lynton (surprise, Dutch Jew), Warner Bros. Chairman Barry Meyer (Jewish), CBS Corp. Chief Executive Leslie Moonves (so Jewish his great uncle was the first prime minister of Israel), MGM Chairman Harry Sloan (Jewish) and NBC Universal Chief Executive Jeff Zucker (mega-Jewish). If either of the Weinstein brothers had signed, this group would have not only the power to shut down all film production but to form a minyan with enough Fiji water on hand to fill a mikvah.

  31. @Justifiable – Er, just in case, I was being sarcastically paraNaziroid above.

  32. Jesse Eisenberg
    I'm on my Period.
    Commented on this photo:

    the truth is funny.

  33. Grant

    Watch it guys! The Jews invented jewjitsu.

  34. Stacy

    This guy can’t even act and his looks don’t belong on a movie screen yet the jews continue to promote themselves at the expense of quality.

  35. Stacy

    Jews killed Jesus…for no reason. There is so much chaos and corruption in the US that they are contributing to from madoff, goldsachs, the banking industry, housing industry, the poisonous junk in the American diet that cause disease and illness , the insurance system and a public education that seems to breed much ignorance and laborers that fall into that nifty little income bracket that supplies them. Keep em down n keep em dumb.

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