Good Morning, Jessa Hinton, And Other News

- Michael K is hiring an intern which reminds me to change the batteries in Photo Boy’s shock collar. [Dlisted]

- Jennifer Aniston’s publicist says she isn’t pregnant, but is also a huge liar, so who knows? [Lainey Gossip]

- Beautiful Women From Generations Past [theCHIVE]

- Jon Gosselin is surprisingly zen about his new life, so look for ATV tracks to find the bodies. That’s how you’ll find them. [Fishwrapper]

- Helicopters make Bertney frow up. [tooFab]

- Police Chief Who Threatened To Shoot “Libtards” In YouTube Videos To Be Fired [BuzzFeed]

- Emmanuelle Chriqui is still hot as shit. [Popoholic]

- Hillary Clinton might be bisexual. [IDLYITW]

- So maybe keep her away from Gemma Arterton. [Hollywood Tuna]

- They caught Famke Janssen’s creepy book-leaving stalker. [Celebslam]

- I want to build a monument to Kate Upton’s breasts. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Nick Carter regrets banging Paris Hilton presumably because herpes never goes away. [Amy Grindhouse]

- New Mexico: Where you make with the dwarf porn or we burn you. [FilmDrunk]

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