Jersey Shore’s Angelina in a Bikini

April 22nd, 2010 // 51 Comments

Bikini Morning barrels on with Angelina from Jersey Shore who apparently calls herself the “Kim Kardashian of Staten Island” because of her “all nature figure” so clearly this one’s a drinker. On that note, I had no idea who she was because I’ve never watched the show but I’m quickly figuring out I can pick these Jersey Shore chicks out with my eyes closed.

*feels around*

“Hmm, lumpy midsection… breasts partially exposed… tanning oil residue…”

*sniff sniff*

“Hints of calzone and dick- GOT ONE!”

superficial

  1. Ha! Too funny, and (prob) so so true : )

  2. Lima

    Ehhh Not classy.
    Regular B**ch

  3. just come here!

  4. Someone needs a one-piece.

  5. Face like a robbers dog.

  6. xylus

    She’s a triple threat… fat, ugly and stupid…

  7. SO RIGHT

    ha ha ha — funny post. But I think she has a good, natural body. She’s in shape and she’s kinda cute.

  8. Jones

    I’d tap it. Nothing wrong with her looks. She’s a stupid, conceited, deluded bitch, though.

  9. CakeSnifferer

    Total dunce. Looks acceptable, nothing more. That one guy was right when he said she could stand to lose 10(?) pounds.

  10. The Original Shawn

    I’m with #9. Useless and annoying these MTV “stars” may be, but anyone saying this chick is ugly spends too much time whacking it to photoshopped lingerie catalogs and imagining they’re in the shower with Marissa Miller.

    Some of the shots are more flattering and less flattering than others, but on the whole, if any one you saw this on a real-life beach, you’d take mental photos and save them for later.

  11. eh

    I dont think anyone would be “taking mental photos and saving them for later”. True, she’s not as bad as some….but she definitely doesn’t eat healthy or exercise.

  12. venomhed

    Hahaa, funny post.

    ON A SERIOUS NOTE:

    Why are so many young American girls shaped like this? I mean I see girls in the early 20′s up to mid 30′s with bodies like 50 year olds. Really doughy and out of shape, so early in life?

    I was just in Brazil and the girls too are getting that way, but it wasn’t common. The young ones and older girls (up to 50!) usually took the time to look good, and they did.

    So clearly this is a FAT AMERICAN look. And the girls here have the balls to say “I’m AVERAGE!”

    Average for an American is FAT!

  13. CakeSnifferer

    Total dunce. Looks acceptable, nothing more. That one guy was right when he said she could stand to lose 10(?) pounds.

  14. cc

    Why don’t these cows go back to Jersey, Fla. will never get the smell out of the water.

  15. pimp

    i would eat the ass right out of this whore…yum.

  16. Jenna

    Kinda looks like Nicole Ritchie.

  17. JesseJimmy

    Pros: Big tit-tays.

    Cons: Bufugly. Flabby belly. Has a muffin top, but not kids. Doughy ass. Bitch.

    So, she’d be good for a grudge fuck or better yet a grudge titty-fuck.

    That’s about it.

  18. lerxt

    Angelina? WFT? She quits after two hours of being on the show and she hoes around as a member of the cast? Now that the show’s popular she wants back in?

  19. Sledman

    So basically all the chicks on Jersey Shore are fat and out of shape regardless of how many pictures of them we see in the gym and all the guys are buff Roid users. The funny part is none, male or female are actually good looking in the face. So glad I left the tri-state area, these people bring back such bad memories.

  20. Jason

    Ok, camera down, you can start breathing again, Angelina.

  21. Tek

    So this is the only one who had the balls to take the ass rag off? White trash, average body, rough face… eh, not impressed.

  22. small asian penis

    She was on the show for 2 or 3 episodes, was such a pain in the ass, after everyone wanted her gone, she said she was too cool for the show and left. How she is signed up for the 2nd season is beyond me, I guess there will be a lot of fighting in the house. If you thought the rest of the cast was bad….. Ugh this one has a nasty attitude I don’t think the show needs her or she does anything for it..

  23. There will be 'a nightmare on Rough street'

    Of course, everyone with dark cooch is a KK…

  24. OMFG ROFLMFAO!!11!!one1!

    I thought I was looking at a chunky Nicole Ritchie! Oh, the disappointment…

  25. Karin

    I really don’t get it. Yesterday Kate Bosworth was too skinny and today this one is too fat. I think some of you guys mut never get laid ’cause you’re way too picky.

  26. Shelly

    Why is she even back on the show? She looks kind of like Nicole Richie, facewise in the picture. And her body is really wierd. She looks like a man kind of, no hip, wierd waste line and a frumpy stomach. Another dilusional air-head.

  27. vicky

    She has a pretty face but she’s a little bit out of shape, she’s by no means fat but can definitly use some tone… so can I.. lol.. she’s a pretty girl but is too conceited for her own good..

  28. bar room hero

    I don’t mind…her size and shape ain’t bad, beats Bosworth…(too many bones in uncomfortable places).

    That being said JS and MTV are fucking stupid.

  29. Kimberley

    wtf is she doing back on the show. She left. eww

  30. Kimberley

    fug!

  31. J

    She really isnt that bad…im sure some excercise could do her some good…or maybe just switch from missionary to cowgirl could help burn some more calories…that being said, what is with the weird tattoos in odd places? and, furthermore, as a native floridian…what is with these bitches and the jewelery and insistence upon getting their hair did before going to the beach?

  32. Racer X

    I hit it.

    /and bust on her face

  33. SO RIGHT

    Ah ha — I figured it out. She looks like a mixture of Kristin Cavallari and Nicole Ritchie.

  34. That’s not Nicole Ritchie??!!

  35. G&T

    If this alleged “italian” went back to Italy, they wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole.

  36. Who the hell cares about this show now? Angelina and put on the back so I will not watch! Screw this show!

  37. bath of beauty i hadn’t watched before.

  38. captain america

    just sorry you have to see this.

  39. Darth

    From distance,she does look like Kim kardashian.

  40. Rhialto

    Are these posts a Jersey Shore Special or something?!

  41. Gando

    Kim Kardashian ‘au natural’.

  42. She really isnt that bad…im sure some excercise could do her some good…or maybe just switch from missionary to cowgirl could help burn some more calories…that being said, what is with the weird tattoos in odd places? and, furthermore, as a native floridian…what is with these bitches and the jewelery and insistence upon getting their hair did before going to the beach?

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  44. Justamexican

    Yeah she isn’t thin, but she keeps it real. Need that cushion for the pushing.

  45. Commented on this photo:

    cool! she’s wearing a bikini from JL!!!!!!!!!! (Joyce Leslie)

  46. chunky!

    Welp, she is chunky in my books, would be a different story if she had some muscle tone, BUT SHE DOESN’T. I see “cankles” in her near future!!

  47. yoo
    Commented on this photo:

    she kinda thick though gotta nice booty

  48. ANONYMUS

    GIRL IS A HOEEEEEE I KNOW HER!

  49. Alyssa
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like Mario from super mario brothers.

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