Jersey Shore’s Angelina in a Bikini

April 22nd, 2010 // 47 Comments

Bikini Morning barrels on with Angelina from Jersey Shore who apparently calls herself the “Kim Kardashian of Staten Island” because of her “all nature figure” so clearly this one’s a drinker. On that note, I had no idea who she was because I’ve never watched the show but I’m quickly figuring out I can pick these Jersey Shore chicks out with my eyes closed.

*feels around*

“Hmm, lumpy midsection… breasts partially exposed… tanning oil residue…”

*sniff sniff*

“Hints of calzone and dick- GOT ONE!”

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Comments (47)

  1. lollol | April 22, 2010 at 10:39 am

    lol

    Reply
  2. Patrice | April 22, 2010 at 10:41 am

    Ha! Too funny, and (prob) so so true : )

    Reply
  3. Lima | April 22, 2010 at 10:42 am

    Ehhh Not classy.
    Regular B**ch

    Reply
  4. andychen | April 22, 2010 at 10:44 am

    just come here!

    Reply
  5. Marnie | April 22, 2010 at 10:45 am

    Someone needs a one-piece.

    Reply
  6. Joe Bones | April 22, 2010 at 10:48 am

    Face like a robbers dog.

    Reply
  7. xylus | April 22, 2010 at 10:51 am

    She’s a triple threat… fat, ugly and stupid…

    Reply
  8. SO RIGHT | April 22, 2010 at 10:52 am

    ha ha ha — funny post. But I think she has a good, natural body. She’s in shape and she’s kinda cute.

    Reply
  9. Jones | April 22, 2010 at 10:58 am

    I’d tap it. Nothing wrong with her looks. She’s a stupid, conceited, deluded bitch, though.

    Reply
  10. CakeSnifferer | April 22, 2010 at 11:04 am

    Total dunce. Looks acceptable, nothing more. That one guy was right when he said she could stand to lose 10(?) pounds.

    Reply
  11. The Original Shawn | April 22, 2010 at 11:11 am

    I’m with #9. Useless and annoying these MTV “stars” may be, but anyone saying this chick is ugly spends too much time whacking it to photoshopped lingerie catalogs and imagining they’re in the shower with Marissa Miller.

    Some of the shots are more flattering and less flattering than others, but on the whole, if any one you saw this on a real-life beach, you’d take mental photos and save them for later.

    Reply
  12. eh | April 22, 2010 at 11:21 am

    I dont think anyone would be “taking mental photos and saving them for later”. True, she’s not as bad as some….but she definitely doesn’t eat healthy or exercise.

    Reply
  13. venomhed | April 22, 2010 at 11:30 am

    Hahaa, funny post.

    ON A SERIOUS NOTE:

    Why are so many young American girls shaped like this? I mean I see girls in the early 20′s up to mid 30′s with bodies like 50 year olds. Really doughy and out of shape, so early in life?

    I was just in Brazil and the girls too are getting that way, but it wasn’t common. The young ones and older girls (up to 50!) usually took the time to look good, and they did.

    So clearly this is a FAT AMERICAN look. And the girls here have the balls to say “I’m AVERAGE!”

    Average for an American is FAT!

    Reply
  14. CakeSnifferer | April 22, 2010 at 11:30 am

    Total dunce. Looks acceptable, nothing more. That one guy was right when he said she could stand to lose 10(?) pounds.

    Reply
  15. cc | April 22, 2010 at 11:33 am

    Why don’t these cows go back to Jersey, Fla. will never get the smell out of the water.

    Reply
  16. pimp | April 22, 2010 at 11:35 am

    i would eat the ass right out of this whore…yum.

    Reply
  17. Jenna | April 22, 2010 at 11:44 am

    Kinda looks like Nicole Ritchie.

    Reply
  18. JesseJimmy | April 22, 2010 at 11:47 am

    Pros: Big tit-tays.

    Cons: Bufugly. Flabby belly. Has a muffin top, but not kids. Doughy ass. Bitch.

    So, she’d be good for a grudge fuck or better yet a grudge titty-fuck.

    That’s about it.

    Reply
  19. lerxt | April 22, 2010 at 11:55 am

    Angelina? WFT? She quits after two hours of being on the show and she hoes around as a member of the cast? Now that the show’s popular she wants back in?

    Reply
  20. Sledman | April 22, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    So basically all the chicks on Jersey Shore are fat and out of shape regardless of how many pictures of them we see in the gym and all the guys are buff Roid users. The funny part is none, male or female are actually good looking in the face. So glad I left the tri-state area, these people bring back such bad memories.

    Reply
  21. Jason | April 22, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    Ok, camera down, you can start breathing again, Angelina.

    Reply
  22. Tek | April 22, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    So this is the only one who had the balls to take the ass rag off? White trash, average body, rough face… eh, not impressed.

    Reply
  23. small asian penis | April 22, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    She was on the show for 2 or 3 episodes, was such a pain in the ass, after everyone wanted her gone, she said she was too cool for the show and left. How she is signed up for the 2nd season is beyond me, I guess there will be a lot of fighting in the house. If you thought the rest of the cast was bad….. Ugh this one has a nasty attitude I don’t think the show needs her or she does anything for it..

    Reply
  24. There will be 'a nightmare on Rough street' | April 22, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    Of course, everyone with dark cooch is a KK…

    Reply
  25. OMFG ROFLMFAO!!11!!one1! | April 22, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    I thought I was looking at a chunky Nicole Ritchie! Oh, the disappointment…

    Reply
  26. Karin | April 22, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    I really don’t get it. Yesterday Kate Bosworth was too skinny and today this one is too fat. I think some of you guys mut never get laid ’cause you’re way too picky.

    Reply
  27. Shelly | April 22, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    Why is she even back on the show? She looks kind of like Nicole Richie, facewise in the picture. And her body is really wierd. She looks like a man kind of, no hip, wierd waste line and a frumpy stomach. Another dilusional air-head.

    Reply
  28. vicky | April 22, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    She has a pretty face but she’s a little bit out of shape, she’s by no means fat but can definitly use some tone… so can I.. lol.. she’s a pretty girl but is too conceited for her own good..

    Reply
  29. bar room hero | April 22, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    I don’t mind…her size and shape ain’t bad, beats Bosworth…(too many bones in uncomfortable places).

    That being said JS and MTV are fucking stupid.

    Reply
  30. Kimberley | April 22, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    wtf is she doing back on the show. She left. eww

    Reply
  31. Kimberley | April 22, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    fug!

    Reply
  32. J | April 22, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    She really isnt that bad…im sure some excercise could do her some good…or maybe just switch from missionary to cowgirl could help burn some more calories…that being said, what is with the weird tattoos in odd places? and, furthermore, as a native floridian…what is with these bitches and the jewelery and insistence upon getting their hair did before going to the beach?

    Reply
  33. Racer X | April 22, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    I hit it.

    /and bust on her face

    Reply
  34. SO RIGHT | April 22, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    Ah ha — I figured it out. She looks like a mixture of Kristin Cavallari and Nicole Ritchie.

    Reply
  35. PissingWillow | April 22, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    That’s not Nicole Ritchie??!!

    Reply
  36. G&T | April 22, 2010 at 10:13 pm

    If this alleged “italian” went back to Italy, they wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole.

    Reply
  37. digital camera memory cards | April 23, 2010 at 12:07 am

    Who the hell cares about this show now? Angelina and put on the back so I will not watch! Screw this show!

    Reply
  38. Muscle Max XL | April 23, 2010 at 4:52 am

    bath of beauty i hadn’t watched before.

    Reply
  39. captain america | April 23, 2010 at 11:08 am

    just sorry you have to see this.

    Reply
  40. Darth | April 23, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    From distance,she does look like Kim kardashian.

    Reply
  41. Rhialto | April 23, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    Are these posts a Jersey Shore Special or something?!

    Reply
  42. Gando | April 23, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    Kim Kardashian ‘au natural’.

    Reply
  43. mbt shoes clearance | April 25, 2010 at 12:56 am

    She really isnt that bad…im sure some excercise could do her some good…or maybe just switch from missionary to cowgirl could help burn some more calories…that being said, what is with the weird tattoos in odd places? and, furthermore, as a native floridian…what is with these bitches and the jewelery and insistence upon getting their hair did before going to the beach?

    Reply
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  45. Justamexican | July 29, 2010 at 11:08 pm

    Yeah she isn’t thin, but she keeps it real. Need that cushion for the pushing.

    Reply
  46. chunky! | August 6, 2010 at 1:34 am

    Welp, she is chunky in my books, would be a different story if she had some muscle tone, BUT SHE DOESN’T. I see “cankles” in her near future!!

    Reply
  47. ANONYMUS | August 16, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    GIRL IS A HOEEEEEE I KNOW HER!

    Reply

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