Jersey Shore needs more homoeroticism

April 7th, 2010 // 137 Comments

Here’s the dudes from Jersey Shore tanning in Miami yesterday and proving how much they love pussy by getting naked and flexing in front of each other. Which makes all kinds of sense once you remember syphilis affects the mind. On that note, MTV clearly forgot to give one of them his steroids and therefore will be legally responsible for his suicide after he’s taped crying alone in bed for an entire season. Not counting the night Snooki crawls through the air duct. “I smell peeeniisss.”

Photos: Splash News

  1. Cali

    These guys SHOULD be making me hot, but their douchery cancels it out and I’m just annoyed (and dry).


  3. blähhh

    nice bodies… but no, thanks…

  4. hyman weintraub, cpa

    does anyone have pictures of his penis? they’re for a friend.

  5. Zveers

    nice roll Vinnie.

  6. Ugh

    I really hate meatheads!

  7. mensa

    Eww. I like nerdy boys.

  8. Willie Dixon

    The guy in pict #1 has the smallest head ever. It’s like a nipple.

  9. xylus

    They make the world a better place…

  10. abby

    His head looks so small because his arms are so big, not in a good way. I don’t know anyone that would be attracted to these guys. Vinnie looks like the only normal person, a bit humiliated he is associated with the rest of them, perhaps.

  11. BM

    mikes muscles are just plain.. weird. like they dont fit his body.. esp his pecks. maybe its just me but im not into big muscular men whose bodies will turn to fat in 10 years. i like toned :)

    this is kinda like super curvy girls like kim k.. may look nice now but imagine that in 5+ years, esp if she has a kid.. will all turn to fat and very hard to maintain..

  12. Nikkie

    Mmmm, hot bodies… just as long as they’re not speaking.

  13. jj


  14. whoops

    PLEASE delete comment 12, I accidentally left my email there. And nobody email me…

  15. HLM

    Who is the doughy one that looks like he’s kept around to help these meatheads figure out how to dial their cell phones and work complicated appliances such as toasters? Obviously not all of them went tanning that day….

  16. sasha

    Guys who enjoy spending time together half dressed and posing. I’ll pass. Not attractive to me in the least.

  17. shenanigans

    @8 LOL

    Ronnie – “You’re totally arm-heavy. You’re all bis and tris and everything else is just fat and-and ribs.”
    He needs to work out his core.

  18. nutnbutter

    these guys work out? they look to be retaining water (steroid/prohormone side effect). and another observation – much like most american guys they’re all about upper body…as some may call it, a prison pump. they look like oranges on toothpicks – they probably would look quite fitting in short dresses and knee high socks with those catholic school girl legs… and i ask again – these guys workout??

  19. The saddest thing about these complete deuschbags is that even though they are some of the biggest morons/imbeciles on the planet, any one of them would be much more qualified to be President then Biraq Obomma.

  20. Lila

    Out of all of them, I’d prefer Vinnie, he may not be all built up like the rest of them, but he isn’t ashamed to show his figure. The day he decides to start lifting, and start working out, will be the day the rest of them develop inferiority complexes.

  21. @19 oh what was dubya’s excuse….FREE HEALTHCARE FOR GAY ILLEGAL ALIENS FOREVER!!!!!!!!

  22. frankw

    Their gay.

  23. frankw

    Yeah, I meant ‘they’re’.

  24. Mr. T

    I agree with #22…they couldn’t be any gayer if they were reanacting the volleyball scene from Top Gun. They are so deep in the closet they are finding hidden Christmas presents from the 70′s. If Liberace and Elton John had a baby, it wouldn’t be as gay as these guys. If George Michael’s saw all of them in a public restroom even he would get weirded out by how gay they are. These guys should be on Ru Paul’s reality show, not Jersey Shore.

  25. fuck me.

    I guess I should put down this cheeseburger and sammy adams and go lift weights or something. Damn.

    I just spent 3 bucks on this angus burger too.

  26. nutnbutter

    @ #19 – LOL

    The fact that you would compare high school educated quasi-celebrities to a former president of the Harvard Law Review shows your complete lack of basic intelligence. You’re probably a far right douche, west virginian native, clinically brain dead or all of the above to have made such a comparison. Classic example of tried and true american ignorance.

  27. BUTTERFACE!!!!!!!!! I love when you have a guy that is so cocky and self absorb as these so called hot ass men from Jersey Shore. They have nice bodies! The face has to match however. that and the fact that they are brainless is a HUGE TURN OFF…..Isn’t Jersey Shore’s 15 minutes done yet.. I really don’t think anyone watched or liked that show..

  28. OTP

    Faggiest gays I’ve ever seen!

  29. @ #26 lol….

    How good can the Harvard Law review be when they have a complete loser cowardly America-hating socialist deuchbag like B’rock Obomma as their leader…..that’s hilarious…..go drink some of your own piss you waste of life.

  30. Elin

    mike’s abs ACTUALLY look like a loose vag.

  31. I keeps it real

    #29 I can’t wait till you fuckers drink the kool aid. Better yet, start a violent revolution. You could defeat the US military, and I hope you try it very soon.

  32. crazypants

    The “Situation’s” problem is that he has a chicken neck.

    So he’s got Pee Wee Herman’s head and neck stuck on top of a WWE wrestler’s body and he looks silly.

    And yeah, it’s all waist-up muscle, their legs are nothing.

  33. nutnbutter

    @ #26 LEL…

    Touche..although i say that with absolutely no conviction.

    Socialists…go look up the word moron. You over exaggerate the actual meaning of the word. Anything to malign a TRUE leader with integrity and a SPOKEN OBJECTIVE unlike bush, puppet master cheney and the cronies that sludge along behind dick. The real behind your tirade is that you’re a closet racists..plain and simple..Fact is, Obama is President and you’re mad….get over it ;D

    P.S. Have a nice day knowing he’s your President and if not I’ll enjoy it for you. ;D

  34. sahara

    vinnie and ronnie are hot…

    also, how the fuck has this got anything to do with barrack obama?

    americans are hilarious.

  35. sf

    Same shoes and same necklace? WTF?

  36. You're nobody till somebody Rough you

    I will never figure out girls, I never knew they fancy nipple rings…Learning all the time!



  38. Andie

    I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. These guys are NOT hot. Not to me, anyway. Any guy that uses more hair products than me is OUT. Freaking YUCK!

  39. me


  40. I don’t hate on these guys for making money and riding the lime light. Blame the prostitot retards who are watching the show and giving them ratings.

  41. Liz

    Ronnie has chest acne….. STEROIDS.

  42. bert_johnson

    These fucktards are the reason the Taliban want to blow us up!

  43. DumDum

    I wonder if these cock-sucking faggots know that the only people who like guys like this are fags.

  44. Sport

    Dumb, worthless fucks. Please breed with the Kardashian sisters. Then you guys can live together in a giant castle made of mirrors.

  45. sahara

    jersey shore is the best show mtv have ever done imo

  46. WDrad


  47. bar room hero

    There are people in my office always talking about this garbage…you must have a single digit IQ to like this shit.

    I heard that many of them aren’t even Italian…douchebags n’ slags…

  48. dee


  49. dee


  50. I am goint to puke

    Those dudes are Gay no doubt about. These pictures scream QUEER!!! The women of Jersey Shore need to forget about these Sausage Lovers.

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