Public Service Announcement: Herpes is Airborne Now. Repeat. Herpes is Airborne Now.
“And so, gentlemen, what I propose is this: We take young men and women of ill repute who have over time acquired a myriad of diseases transmitted from intercourse, adorn them in provocative swimwear so as to be pleasing to the eye and then give them all jetpacks. From there, America’s shores will crumble paving the way for our armies to crush them in their weakened state of carnal gluttony.
Also, one of them should get pregnant and eat pickles all the time. Do not ask me why, know only that it amuses your Führer. Oh, how my little pig-naut will love its pickles…
- Adolph Hitler,
1 June 1935
P.S. Should this plan, for whatever reason, not come to action, I have another idea that’s almost as good. Almost. We’ll need ovens though.