‘Jersey Shore’ is Going to Be About Ronnie and Sammi Fighting Again

If you actually thought the new season of Jersey Shore in Italy was finally going to have a different storyline that’s not Ronnie and Sammi fighting every goddamn second, surprise! They’re back together. Now that I’ve crushed the hopes and dreams of anyone stupid enough to watch the show, here’s Deena Cortese with a penis on her head to finish the job. Think of it as salting the earth but with JWoww’s giant breasts showing up every other shot because I don’t want your suicide on my conscience.

Photo: Splash News, WENN